jayeffscene Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 'cause I did today. I've got some 24 hour bug that's going around here and I was working (I walk dogs) and thank God I was in an empty house. It was just a little bit, but I was so embarrassed at first and now I just think it's funny. I got like 2 bits for stand-up and an idea for a short film from it, so it was like almost worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayeffscene Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 This thread: will hit 500 views and less than 2 dozen replies. First girl to admit to it get's +1'd from everyone. This could be your chance to get back to positive numbers, Allison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockstar71888 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 i hate that bug. i got it in 2006 at a Brand New show...ditched my boxers in the bathroom, felt it coming again, and broke my zipper trying to get my pants undone. after watching half of their set with my dick flopping in the wind, i decided it was time to leave. 90 minute drive home...worst night ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garrett2859 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Lactose intolerant. Chilly cheese fries. Does that answer your question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisisahiijack Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 came close a few times. being stuck in traffic is the worst. one funny story from recent memory (2006 maybe) was eating some slider burgers at a restaurant with some friends then being stuck in holiday traffic when going to the mall to pick something up. hit me like it did jeff daniels in dumb & dumber. got to a four-way stop in the parking lot where a crossing guard was directing traffic. let at least three cars from every other direction go before the car we were in, finally i stuck my head out the window and yelled "I HAVE TO SHIT!" and she yelled back something i couldn't hear. i wasn't driving so i jumped out and ran to the pottery barn and destroyed their bathroom. not embarrassed, friends and i were laughing about it immediately afterward. when you gotta go, you gotta go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkfoster8 Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Never happened but I've come damn close. Always happens while in the car and a great distance away from my house. I refuse to use public bathrooms, but those are the only times I'll change my views. Also happened once while on a train. Not cool taking a crap while the train is rocking back and forth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamlikesmusic Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Never shit myself, but I've pissed myself a number of times. (Damn you, black friday) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dynamitekid Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 constantly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggle Von Swift Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 came very, VERY close. and to make matters worse.. I was in full goalie (hockey) gear.. so I was all hot and sweaty, and then add the borderline shitting myself while in it all. had one of the dudes take me home down like 45mph through a neighborhood. by far one of the worst nights of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
partysmasher Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 shit myself on a plane once... i was seven at the time i think and can barely remember it but it definitely sucked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 3rd grade on halloween in my costume. I tried going to the bathroom but could not get the button on my pants undone. Instead of possibly asking for help I decided I would hold it until I got home. I was waiting for my aunt hurry up so we could leave and take me home. Right before I stepped in the van I shat myself. For the gory details this wasn't just like one big ol turd but was full blown hershey squirts in my tighty whiteys. Luckily no one from school found out and only my cousin was there to witness the monumental event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayeffscene Posted September 27, 2010 Author Share Posted September 27, 2010 3rd grade on halloween in my costume. I tried going to the bathroom but could not get the button on my pants undone. Instead of possibly asking for help I decided I would hold it until I got home. I was waiting for my aunt hurry up so we could leave and take me home. Right before I stepped in the van I shat myself. For the gory details this wasn't just like one big ol turd but was full blown hershey squirts in my tighty whiteys. Luckily no one from school found out and only my cousin was there to witness the monumental event. Telling them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdwell Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 pretty sure we've had a thread about this previously.... cuz I've definitely done this....in a Mall...2 days before Christmas....about 3 years ago....left the undies in the bathroom, cleaned up...went and stole a pair of boxers from Gap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 hahahaha i love you boys so much. i've almost had this happen when i had the stomach flu, and i might have done this when i was little, but i really don't remember. HOWEVER, in lieu of a funny poop-my-pants story i WILL tell you that my sister and i used to say we had 'the urge' when one of us really really had to go and the other one was taking too long in a store or something. sister code for 'hurry-up-and-get-me-to-a-bathroom-immediately-or-i-will-poo-my-pants'. oh, and i DID pee my pants once as a kid. i was playing outside and totally forgot to go to the bathroom then all of a sudden i was standing there mortified because it ran down my leg and into my sock. MY SOCK. RUINED. i was scarred for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jblahmaster Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 This happened to me in middle school one time when walking home. I was already having stomach problems early in the day and shitty enough it reared it's ugly head while i walk of all times. So i get to an area down the street and at this point it hurts really bad so i figure " Hey you only have about 30 more yards to walk so fuck it!" I immediately stopped and went both pee and poop in my pants. I gave out a sigh of relief feeling no shame and thinking no one would see. Little did i know that some kids were walking behind me and had seen my pants wet themselves and everything. They laugh, i freak and run to my house. No keys... so i go to the garage and wait for my mom to get home from work. Possibly up there with the worse day of my life scenarios . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayeffscene Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 hahahaha i love you boys so much.i've almost had this happen when i had the stomach flu, and i might have done this when i was little, but i really don't remember. HOWEVER, in lieu of a funny poop-my-pants story i WILL tell you that my sister and i used to say we had 'the urge' when one of us really really had to go and the other one was taking too long in a store or something. sister code for 'hurry-up-and-get-me-to-a-bathroom-immediately-or-i-will-poo-my-pants'. oh, and i DID pee my pants once as a kid. i was playing outside and totally forgot to go to the bathroom then all of a sudden i was standing there mortified because it ran down my leg and into my sock. MY SOCK. RUINED. i was scarred for life. Unless I had met you, I would not believe that one could forget to go to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdwell Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I almost crapped myself after the Murder City Devils reunion show up in Seattle....being in a city you've never been to, by yourself, drunk as hell wandering around trying to find a cab to my hotel...also almost crapped in a alley but some dude started walking down the alley, I tried to ask him where the nearest bathroom was, and he looked away and almost started running...'twas a really really really close call Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxmartinxx Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Anyone who says they've never shit themselves is full of... well... shit. Everyone has had a stomach flu where you sharted yourself or didn't make it to the bathroom in time at least once in their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 hahahaha i love you boys so much.i've almost had this happen when i had the stomach flu, and i might have done this when i was little, but i really don't remember. HOWEVER, in lieu of a funny poop-my-pants story i WILL tell you that my sister and i used to say we had 'the urge' when one of us really really had to go and the other one was taking too long in a store or something. sister code for 'hurry-up-and-get-me-to-a-bathroom-immediately-or-i-will-poo-my-pants'. oh, and i DID pee my pants once as a kid. i was playing outside and totally forgot to go to the bathroom then all of a sudden i was standing there mortified because it ran down my leg and into my sock. MY SOCK. RUINED. i was scarred for life. Unless I had met you, I would not believe that one could forget to go to the bathroom. everyone who ever hangs out with me knows that i have to keep reminding myself to go pee multiple times cuz i get distracted by, well, everything. ahahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggle Von Swift Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 just called and asked my mom (she was a bit weirded out by the call).. she can't recall me ever shitting myself, close calls but never actually happened.. however (since this thread has very little shame anyway), she did say I got enemas as a young kid because I wouldn't shit, and i'm now questioning how much she loves me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devinr Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Coming home from a Digital Underground show about 8 or 9 years ago I had a vicious stomach bug. I had to pull over on the side of the highway and nearly shit myself twice. I used my socks to wipe my ass and left them on the side of I-25. It was brutal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 about 2 years ago i was on vacation in chicago walking around downtown w/ my fiance. it was late on a sunday so everything was closed. we had just had pizzeria uno and it didn't treat me well at all. so we walked around for a while trying to find someplace that was open but no luck. the metra station's bathroom was closed too (which actually there was one closer to the platform that we didn't know about--millenium station for all you chicagoans). so i just found a secluded spot (i think it was a handicap access ramp actually) by a building off of michigan ave. i feel really bad for whoever walked near that on the way to the office the next day. thats definitely one to tell the kids haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayeffscene Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 just called and asked my mom (since this thread has very little shame anyway) +1 for calling your mom. (since this thread has very little shame anyway) Yeah guys. Thanks for not turning me into the new scott m. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunnypuncher Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 About 5-6 years ago I was working graveyard shift and hating life. Subsequently, I was drinking a lot, so things were a little slippery down there fairly often. Anyway, I had just arrived at work around midnight, and right as I got out of my car I sharted. VERY luckily for me, I had my dirty laundry in my car because I was planning on hitting the laundromat after work. So I grabbed a pair of dirty drawers, stuffed them in my pocket, and went and changed them out in the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittenmittons Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I had food poisoning that surfaced after the after-sex shower, while still in a towel. i don't think i ever told him, either. beat that, America. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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