Worst you've ever injured yourself

[scottheisel]

A thumb can break into eight different pieces? That's insane!

[nickbuysvinyl]

i have a scar on my left index finger from a bad dog bite. I didnt have insurance so i didnt go to the hospital, i just drove to walmart (this was at 2 in the morning) and bought some gauze, butterfly strip and hydrogen peroxide, paid for it and put it all on at the checkout counter. I used to have a picture, but i cant find it right now. It wasn't too bad, i just lost alot of blood and felt lightheaded.

besides that, just your run of the mill sprains, cuts and bruises

[counterfiction]

I didn't do it to myself, but I pissed someone off in a hockey game and got laid out after the whistle in a retaliatory shot. I was at that perfect distance from the boards where it's potentially deadly, and I went headfirst into the boards backwards... like... I was facing centerice when I got hit so I had my back to the boards. I spent 45 minutes on the ice out cold, then spent the next 4 or so hours laying on a hospital bed after x-rays recovering my feeling and movement. I somehow shocked myself into temporary paralysis.

that's bullshit. i hate to see that kind of stuff happen.

[monk0nuggets]

A thumb can break into eight different pieces? That's insane!

It was insane! They showed me the X-ray and you could see it. I was lucky I didn't need any surgery or anything. I lost the ability to bend it for about a year though. I'm back to full mobility now!

[monk0nuggets]

Actually the funniest part about it is that I had really bad hitchhiker's thumbs, but now I have one regular straight thumb (the one that broke) and one hitchhiker thumb. haha

[nickbuysvinyl]

I didn't do it to myself, but I pissed someone off in a hockey game and got laid out after the whistle in a retaliatory shot. I was at that perfect distance from the boards where it's potentially deadly, and I went headfirst into the boards backwards... like... I was facing centerice when I got hit so I had my back to the boards. I spent 45 minutes on the ice out cold, then spent the next 4 or so hours laying on a hospital bed after x-rays recovering my feeling and movement. I somehow shocked myself into temporary paralysis.

so did anything happen to the other guy?

[kyle]

One night after a show I was walking back to my car and this dude was leaning against it. I asked him to get off because I had to leave and he started yelling at me. I wasn't trying to start shit, mind you, I was with my friend Tonya and he was with four or five of his friends (all dudes). I don't pick fights with one guy, let alone five or six drunken bros. Anyways, he started yelling at me about how he wasn't hurting anything and I was just trying to say I wanted to go and while one dude was in my face another guy sucker punched me. It took me buy surprise and I didn't even hit the dude back, I just grabbed my face in pain and yelled something like, "What the fuck?" and as soon as I took my hand off another dude sucker punched me in the EXACT same spot. The dude leaning against my truck threatened to shoot me or some shit. Anyways, I told them I wasn't trying to fight I just wanted to go so they gave me the stink eye and let me get in my truck. Anyways, I spit some blood and thought I broke a tooth and drove my friend and I home. I took one of my dad's vicodin but I was still in horrible, horrible pain and couldn't sleep. I went to an orthodontist the next day to get the tooth extracted. He took X-Rays and came back and told me my jaw was broken. My jaw was closed shut for 6 weeks. I missed Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner and they were removed the day before New Year's Eve, so you better believe I was partying like crazy that night. I still have a metal plate in my jaw.

[monk0nuggets]

^^^thats fucked dude. Sorry to hear that.

[markalark17]

I was at a baseball game when I was 2, back before they had the bleachers filled in. I leaned back too far, and slipped in between. We were on the top row, so it was a pretty big fall. Long story short, I cracked my skull open. I went to the ER, but ended up not needing surgery. I had a HUGE black eye for a long time though.

[monk0nuggets]

Broke my tailbone twice, once skateboarding, the other time (6 months later) slipping on a wet floor in the kitchen

Broke my toes jumping to get something on top of the refrigerator when i was about 10

Broke my arm jumping down a swing and landing on slippery grass, which made me fall with my arm twisted under my back

Broke many fingers

Twisted my ankles many times

I fell on my face while playing tag when i was about 6 and dislocated my jaw. It was hanging there, gross

Dislocated my arm

^^ those were all the worst in their own way.. haha

EDIT: no pics

Jesus! Rough life?

[kurtmanner]

I can only think of a few bad ones.

I spilled a huge pot of fresh coffee down the front of myself when I was two.

I sliced off the tip of my finger in a vegetable slicer (mandolin) and the worst part was having the rubber band tourniquet put on the base of the finger.

Aaaand, at the first night of my very first job (Exactly a week after having my tonsils out, at 16, which is on a entirely different level of pain than when you get them out at a young age. I had also just started to talk comfortably that day.) I was taking out garbage and, of course, assuming that no one was dumb enough to put glass into the trash only can that had a glass only can next to it, I grabbed the bottom of the bag to throw it, and grabbed a nice handful of broken glass. I was the idiot. I should have gotten the chunk I almost dug out of my thumb stitched, but it wasn't too bad otherwise, just some slices and a deep puncture on my middle finger.

[mrc]

split my chin open when i was little, i fell in the shower and my chin hit the edge of a tile step. then after it was stiched back together and starting to heel i fell off my skateboard and split it open again. i think i was around 8 or so.

broke some fingers, toes nothing special.

a couple weeks ago i fell down my stairs before work... fucking sucked. fell down about the last 8 steps and landed and hit my head/face on the entertainment unit. i just laid on the floor like an old man for half an hour. fun stuff!

[hickey]

I've never broken a real bone (fingers and toes excluded). I used to break toes all the time when I played soccer, but I'd just tape them together and deal with it.

I've had stitches about 15 times. Two worst: Split my head open AT THE HOSPITAL. My mother was an ER nurse and we'd go on Saturday nights and eat dinner with her in the hospital caf. My sister and I raced to see who could get to the drink cooler fastest. I was probably six or seven. I wasn't looking where I was going and I ran directly into the corner of one of those metal assmblies in cafeterias that you slide trays along. Took a big dig out of my head and knocked me out cold. I came too in the elevator on the way to the ER with my mother carrying me. Her glasses and shirt were covered in blood. It was nuts.

Second was only about two years ago when I sliced the palm of my hand open. Totally my stupidity. I was opening a new bread knife. It was in one of those god awful plastic packages. I pried it open and just grabbed the knife and pulled, not knowing the blade was facing the hand holding the plastic open. SSLLLIIIICCCE! Right down the entire palm of my hand. It was one of those where it doesn't bleed right away and a few seconds later just started spewing. Shows how good that knife is though.

[jhulud]

A million years back in the time known as the 90's, I was at a TOOL show back when they were touring for "Undertow". The venue was medium-sized. Anyways...I was crowd-surfing (remember, it was the 90s), and I guess whoever was holding me up got pushed, lost their balance, and I got dropped like a sack of potatoes...on my head!

I got back up but didn't feel woozy or anything. After the show, a friend who was walking behind me noticed I had something stuck to the back if my head...when she reached for it, it turned out to be dried blood. I ended up getting a few stitches back there...but no concussion. I thought that was weird.

Minor stuff compared to my previously-listed injury...arm break while on a date...

[mrc]

oh i forgot this one. i was 15 and at a HWM show in a local pool hall and was running around in the pit and caught an elbow to the eye. it hurt like a bitch and i went to the bartender to get some ice and she was like "i think you need more than ice to fix that" but since the place didnt have mirrors in the bathroom i had to see what my eye looked like with her makeup compact mirror thing. my eye brow was split and just kinda hanging down over my eye. found my friends and they confirmed it looked terrible but those assholes didnt want to miss HWM and discount so i had to call my dad to pick me up.

Later my dad said i could go to the ER and wait a couple hours or he could sew it up for me. so my dad stiched up my eye brow at this office (he is a dentist). he did an ok job

[mcm1610]

I didn't do it to myself, but I pissed someone off in a hockey game and got laid out after the whistle in a retaliatory shot. I was at that perfect distance from the boards where it's potentially deadly, and I went headfirst into the boards backwards... like... I was facing centerice when I got hit so I had my back to the boards. I spent 45 minutes on the ice out cold, then spent the next 4 or so hours laying on a hospital bed after x-rays recovering my feeling and movement. I somehow shocked myself into temporary paralysis.

so did anything happen to the other guy?

I guess someone on my team tackled him, but I wasn't mentally around for that, so I never really knew the immediate details. He got a gross-misconduct and one of those 30-day off-ice suspensions. Like.. he couldn't even go rec skating, but I'm sure no one enforces that. The next time we played them I gave him a ton of kidney shots with my stick while battling in front of the net, but I never really got him back. Not that I want to potentially kill him, but that was a pretty scary night for me.

I've learned that if I was ever actually paralyzed, I'd probably try suicide pretty quickly. It's fucking TERRIBLE not being able to move.

Edit: although I'm not sure how I'd commit suicide if I was a quadriplegic.

[mcm1610]

Until getting surgery a couple months ago, I never got stitches because I never wanted to bother with the hospital. I just feel like unless it's life-threatening, I don't want to deal with the healthcare system because it's beyond fucked up. There's a bunch of times I should've gone, though:

- I was like 8 and riding my bike, and I don't remember what happened, but I slipped forward off the pedal and my calf slid against it. The sharp grippy things ripped a huge gash down my calf. The scar is about an inch long now, but it was like about half my calf and really deep, but instead of stitches, I had my mom butterfly it for me.

- We lowered the basketball net so we could dunk, but there was a bolt that stuck out the front of the big thick bar that those movable nets are on. The one from the base up to the backboard. Well I was on a fast break and went up to dunk and came down with too much momentum and my arm got ripped open on the bolt. Again, needed stitches, but I think I wrapped papertowels around my arm and decided that was good. I have an S-shaped scar that's about 5 inches long on my right inner-forearm.

- Again in hockey, I got knocked on my ass after dumping the puck in. It wasn't at all a bad hit, but enough to knock me back. As I landed I had one arm at each side of me to kind of catch the fall, and for some reason I hold my hockey stick so that my left hand pinky isn't really holding it, but sitting on top of the butt-end. I don't know why I do that, but it bit me this time. The whole weight of the stick and all its momentum came down perfectly on my pinky crushing it. It immediately swelled up and the tip is still kind of fat to this day. There was thick goopy blood coming out of my fingernail, and I couldn't bend it for weeks, but what is the hospital going to do for a pinky? So I didn't go.

- This last one I should've gone more for legal reasons than the injuries themselves. I can't find the pictures, which I know exist because I had to take them for a lawyer, so I guess I'll just have to explain it. I was in Boston at the end of last summer visiting friends. We went out to a bar in Faneual Hall or whatever the fuck it is, and this fucking douchebag comes gets pissy because I apparently "shoved" him on my way back from the bathroom. Apparently tapping on the shoulder and saying "excuse me" and then making your way through the crowd is shoving. I don't even know where he was, because I didn't shove anyone to take notice, but out of the corner of my eye I see the kid pointing at me and talking in someone else's ear, so I kinda take notice. A minute later, there's three of his friends next to me acting tough, so I ignore them and walk over to the other kid, who immediately starts yelling that I shoved him before I say a word, so I laugh and go "are you kidding me?" and start walking away. The kid sucker punched me, then grabbed my head. I threw myself and him to the floor, because I couldn't do much else, and before I knew it the bouncers threw us out, literally, onto the sidewalk, then I guess they tried to block the door, but 2 of the 3 toughguys squeaked out, and luckily one of my friends did, too. I stood up to turn to the kid so I didn't get blindsided again, but as I stood up, one of the other kids blindsided me instead, hard enough to send me down. The three of them start punching me, then my friend came over and ripped one off and blasted him in the temple, splitting his head open. Someone else jumped on him, and the third kid just let up for some reason, so I stood up, ran over towards my friend and booted the kid that was on top of him right in the face. Before I even finished with the follow through, a cop tackled me, then I look up to see three cops above me, so I give up and roll over, and into the paddy wagon I go. They just happened to be driving by and all they saw was some wrestling and me boot a kid, so only I get arrested, and I'm still serving the probation, 5 AA meetings, and 25 hours of community service that came with my out-of-court settlement for felony assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (my oh-so-dangerous foot). Nevermind my injuries, which included a probably broken nose, a massive wound above my right temple, two black eyes, a cut on my left eye, a bruised right cheek, a fat upper lip and a split lower lip, a massive scrape from the ground on the back of my shoulder, and scrapes all up and down my right side, including knee, elbow, and hip. I was pretty much soaked in blood on my right side, but the police never said "hey, do you need medical attention?" so I toughed it out like an idiot instead of demanding they send me to the hospital to document all the injuries. It's mostly healed except a faint scar above my temple/on the side of my forehead there and a big brown scar on my shoulder. I had plenty of scars on my elbows from countless spills in street hockey (tennis courts aren't the best gripping surface for turning tight in roller blades), so those blend right in.

Edit:

I don't start fights - ie I never take the first physical action - but I've been in a few because I'm really good at pissing people off. I probably deserved a little bit of the beatdown for past karma, but that night I really didn't do anything.

Oh, I knew broke my nose before, but I couldn't remember until now. In 8th grade, this fat daigo was picking on a kid I played hockey with when I was little named Billy. Billy was a cool kid until he put himself in a coma in a bad bike fall, then he came out a little odd. But we were in gym and the fat shit, Anthony, was shitting on him and calling him a retard and the like, so I chimed in by saying something like "who are you to make fun of anyone, fatass?" It shut him up for the moment, so I thought it was over. In the lockerroom later he came up behind me and shoved me into the lockers, so I turned around and unloaded on him, and as someone pulled us apart, I told him I'd kill him if he ever tried something like that again. For like 2 or 3 weeks, he would follow me around and go "let's fight, come on pussy, let's fight" and I was like "that's stupid, I already beat your ass, and it's dumb to schedule a fight." But he eventually got really annoying, and followed me from school to my friend's house, talking shit the whole time, so I eventually gave in. We were fighting in an abandoned lot and I was beating him pretty good until some guy leaned out his window with his phone saying he'd call the police, so I shoved fatty down and went walking down some abandoned railroad tracks. He kept following me, so I was like "are you kidding, you want a 3rd beating?" So we start fighting again, and I again was beating him, I think I took one punch in the two fights combined here, then he swung over the top and I ducked it, and as I had my face down, he connected with a nasty upper-cut right in my nose. I blacked out, went down to a knee, and had blood pouring out of my nose, but tried to keep fighting until my friend said I should really stop because I looked bad. To fatty's credit, he let up once he connected because he knew that punch ended it. I then stumbled to my friend's house to clean all the blood off with the hose and deal with my broken nose. I never got it x-rayed, but it had a new curve it didn't have before.

[xlovecolouredx]

all your pics amke me hurt,dudes.

i taught i saw rotten.com now.

for my dumb injures just happend on last year.

i cut my left thumb 5 times in one year at the same point by a crappy cutting sheet while i cuttung an architecture model for working.

now,i already bought new one....

[nickbuysvinyl]

after some thought, i, too, thought of some more.

-Feb '01: I got Strep throat so bad it moved to my kidneys. I was sick for two weeks before finally deciding to go to the hospital. Thats when i found out it moved to my kidneys. Two-day hospital stay, one month out of school

-March '03: Fuckin around on a skateboard when someone kicked it out from under me. Sprained ankle. The part that sucked was, that weekend, we got a huge ice storm and everything is covered in ice. I eventually ditched the crutches and toughed it out

-March '04: At a concert (I forgot who) when some 300+ lbs. drunk guy decided he wanted to crowd surf, and when his buddies couldn't hold him up, he fell backwards and landed right on me. knocked me down and i hit my head on the ground, sprained my wrist and lost my glasses

[andrew13]

no decent pics (all came out really blurry since i was having constant muscle spams and couldn't hold it still), but i cut my left big toe off on the last day of school in 03. got out at 9:30 am and cut my toe off my 11:30 am. made for a really shitty summer. lawnmowers = evil.

[andrew13]

also, i've hac 10-11 concussions. mostly from playing baseball. i was a beanball/flying bat magnet. also, if my posts don't make sense sometimes, that's why. it sucks anymore, i feel like a fucking retard half the time from having so much brain damage from them. i can't do basic stuff i used to be able to school wise.

[adamlikesmusic]

Uh I dove down a waterfall into 2 feet of water once. Probably fucked something up, though we were in mexico. Ended up band-aiding my gash, and after a few days my neck stopped hurting.

[adamlikesmusic]

Uh I dove down a waterfall into 2 feet of water once. Probably fucked something up, though we were in mexico. Ended up band-aiding my gash, and after a few days my neck stopped hurting.

Damn, could they re-attach it? My favorite gym teacher at school cut off the tops of her index and middle finger last week trying to unclog her snow blower. They couldn't re-attach them...

I didn't lose anything. I just had a wicked gash on my jaw.

[markalark17]

Oh, sorry I quoted the wrong thing. Haha, embarrassing.

[markalark17]

no decent pics (all came out really blurry since i was having constant muscle spams and couldn't hold it still), but i cut my left big toe off on the last day of school in 03. got out at 9:30 am and cut my toe off my 11:30 am. made for a really shitty summer. lawnmowers = evil.

Damn, could they re-attach it? My favorite gym teacher at school cut off the tops of her index and middle finger last week trying to unclog her snow blower. They couldn't re-attach them...