Guest Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 so here's my situation: her name is molly. i've talked about her a few times in here. she's the one that i slept with a few weeks ago, and she denied me the next morning when i went for a wake n bang. basically, we met in summer 2011. i've talked about this before too, but i just want to tie it all together. she was "seeing" one of my friends at the time, and one night a bunch of us went camping on an island. the two of us found a great connection, ended up being the last ones awake, and with the assistance of several hours of drinking, we had sex. twice. then we didnt see each other until about a year ago, mostly because i just wanted to avoid the whole thing, trying to salvage some respect for my friend, after banging the girl he was totally into while he was sleeping in a tent 8 feet away. back in october, we hooked up again. and again, following a long night of good conversation and way too many drinks. probably one of the most irresponsible days of my life, but i'm still alive, so.. worth it. at this point, i wasn't thinking anything of it. just thinking she was a really cool chick who was dtf. a couple weeks later, she came to the halloween party we were having.. and when she was passed the fuck out, i was upstairs banging another girl who i have a dumb lingering history with. the next morning, i went downstairs to find molly just waking up. she was waiting for her friend to come pick her up, so we just hung out for the next hour or so watching live from daryl's house and laughing about stupid shit from the party. then my friend walks in, and without thinking, is all "heyyy you bang emily last night?!". thankfully, i was quick enough to just say no, and he got it. but that night, i made the terrrrrible mistake of going out to a bar with both of these girls, and some other friends. that was the night her friend pretty much said, "hey.. don't fuck with her" then, in the last month, we started hanging out more often. but at first i really didn't think anything of it. it was me her and my best friend, and the 3 of us were just having really good times together. then her friend jumped in the equation, and all of a sudden, we're pretty much coupled-up. her friend is telling mine how molly's really into me and everything, when i just kind of assumed that had passed. but now the four of us are literally on an every weekend schedule. whether i'm going out the boston area where she's living, or she's coming here. it kind of happened out of no where. last weekend we were out there for her birthday, and then they came here this weekend pretty much out of no where. basically to just party with us some more. not complaining. but the thing is, with all this time we've been spending together, we're barely hooking up. ever since i got denied, there's been almost nothing physical between us. there are probably a myriad of reasons for it, but it's still strange. especially since our friends have been going at it non stop. but saturday night, she stayed here, and we were up til 6 am listening to records and just having absurd conversation. part of it was that i was laughing too hard most of the time to make a move. another part was that she didn't make a move either. because jesus christ, why won't a woman EVER make a move on ME?? the whole thing at this point is that i just have no idea how to pursue this. i'm not even sure what my own attraction is. she's not my type at all, and she's kind of a mess... but she's really awesome, and we constantly have a great time together. for now, i'm just kind of riding the wave, because again, it's been a blast, and i don't really want to screw anything up. but i also feel like we're reaching the point where SOMETHING needs to be said about what our deal is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashhax Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Ry you get the most action on this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 that is not true at all. i've had sex 3 times since becoming single in september. and becoming single in september was following 3 months of long distance relationship non sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I like this girl, just by your description of her, I don't know why, but I like her. Especially if she makes you laugh and there is good conversation... because how great is a funny hot girl? Pretty damn great. She seems pretty laid back about the whole thing. Almost to the point where she doesn't want to ruin it by being too eager. Which explains why she hasn't tried to initiate any physical contact. She's probably feeling the exact same way as you are... Like 'what is going on with us, I wish he'd make a move, ect ect...' But sadly most of us girls are still stuck in the whole we wait for the men to make the first move blah blah. BUT if she is traveling out of town to see you, she's got feelings. Also if these feelings were confirmed by her friend... You definitely should make a move next time you see her. I mean, if that's what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emo Revival Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 I like this girl, just by your description of her, I don't know why, but I like her. Especially if she makes you laugh and there is good conversation... because how great is a funny hot girl? Pretty damn great. She seems pretty laid back about the whole thing. Almost to the point where she doesn't want to ruin it by being too eager. Which explains why she hasn't tried to initiate any physical contact. She's probably feeling the exact same way as you are... Like 'what is going on with us, I wish he'd make a move, ect ect...' But sadly most of us girls are still stuck in the whole we wait for the men to make the first move blah blah. BUT if she is traveling out of town to see you, she's got feelings. Also if these feelings were confirmed by her friend... You definitely should make a move next time you see her. I mean, if that's what you want. Fitting that you'd be the first post on page 100, but also I agree 100% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 but i aso have my reasons. she's kind of a mess. ya know, the kind of girl who, at 25, is using a fake id because her license was revoked for letting a $50 speeding ticket turn into a $500 ticket. the kind of girl that destroys her iphone when she forgets about the bottle of whiskey that we JUST put in her bag, and then goes and hucks it over a fence. the kind of girl that up and quits her job by telling her boss she's a cunt, with no future prospects. again, this girl is awesome, and most of this stuff is part of her charm i suppose. but when i'm starting out a new career path and trying to find some solidarity with a full time job and whatnot, i worry that this isn't good for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 important questions include was she drunk when she forgot about the booze in the purse because we've all had those "fuck!" moments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 oh we were hammered. almost all the time we spend together is just getting blackout. when i said she hucked it over a fence, it was because we were walking back from the bar, found a playground, and decided to hop the fence and go smoke a blunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 okay she gets a pass for that then. carry on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluedeni Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I would say if you are looking for something that has a future or stability than she isn't the girl for you. I think some of the attraction is her craziness and that it's a bit of challenge and not easy. If you want to know what's going on just ask. I know it's easier said than done. But don't be like everyone else and just talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 a lot of it is the fact that our tastes in music/tv are absurdly similar. that first night we met, i gave her my ipod, and it was like she was putting on a magic show. even the artists on there that i didnt care for much, she would still play the tracks that had them there in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashhax Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 If you are looking for a long term relationship I say forget about this girl and ask Madie out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 that is not true at all. i've had sex 3 times since becoming single in september. and becoming single in september was following 3 months of long distance relationship non sex. i'd like to have sex 3 times since september. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 but i aso have my reasons. she's kind of a mess. ya know, the kind of girl who, at 25, is using a fake id because her license was revoked for letting a $50 speeding ticket turn into a $500 ticket. the kind of girl that destroys her iphone when she forgets about the bottle of whiskey that we JUST put in her bag, and then goes and hucks it over a fence. the kind of girl that up and quits her job by telling her boss she's a cunt, with no future prospects. again, this girl is awesome, and most of this stuff is part of her charm i suppose. but when i'm starting out a new career path and trying to find some solidarity with a full time job and whatnot, i worry that this isn't good for me. ------ Usually I would assume you’re just over-thinking everything and tell you to just roll with the situation and see what happens. But I’ve been doing the exact same thing as you lately. on the weird occasion I find someone I might like, I wonder if their future goals and dreams are the same as mine. I wonder if they’re going to be a positive influence on me. If you want to see how things really are with her, you should do something together that doesn’t involve drinking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zick Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 ------ If you want to see how things really are with her, you should do something together that doesn’t involve drinking? That's what I was going to suggest. If all you guys do together is get blackout drunk, you'll have no idea if you can work with each other while sober. Until you've hung out with her a few times outside of just drinking or smoking or whatever, then you should hold off on trying to start a relationship with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philviral Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Wow, page 100 huh?! So, I've been dating this girl since October now, and I'm completely in love... it's great. We had some rough spots in the first two months when we were both still trying to get out of single mode, but it's been seriously fantastic since we got over that. I can see myself with this girl for a very very very long time. It's impossible to fight with her, every disagreement we have is calmly and quickly resolved and set aside. Now we are talking about how we can't wait to live with each other and how badly we both want to move, how awesome it will be etc etc. Thing is, we are both at the point in our lives where we don't want to move to another apartment, and we both have savings that are planned for house downpayments. We are talking about possibly combining our savings to buy a house together. Currently saying that we will start looking for a place come summer time, which would be about 8-9 months into our relationship. We would seek out a lawyer to draft up an agreement saying we go in 50/50 and come out 50/50 by selling if we happen to break up, so the only downside would be the hassle of trying to sell. We get all the benefits of owning a home and living with someone we love. (we both have lame roomies right now!) How soon is too soon to shack up? Any of you ever purchased a home with someone you aren't married to? Looking for experiences and advice. smash2pieces 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 That's what I was going to suggest. If all you guys do together is get blackout drunk, you'll have no idea if you can work with each other while sober. Until you've hung out with her a few times outside of just drinking or smoking or whatever, then you should hold off on trying to start a relationship with her. i mean, we have hung out in a sober state. but that's usually the day after getting blackout haha. but last weekend, we all stayed at her place and then went out for breakfast together. and then on sunday, after staying at my house, we spent the entire day together. although, we did get stoned on our way to pancake social. which also involved lots of drinking all day long. it's certainly not the kind of thing where we HAVE to be inebriated to hang out. the situations we find ourselves in always seem to call for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 getting high and going to a drunken pancake social. I don’t think I realized it until now, but that’s my dream date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 At most, I think you could make this be a "just for now" sort of thing. I would even come out straightforward about that. It seems your looking for a future away from this type of person but right now its fitting. Why not see if she's down for that? At worst, she says no and you can move on to greener pastures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbruise Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Wow, page 100 huh?! So, I've been dating this girl since October now, and I'm completely in love... it's great. We had some rough spots in the first two months when we were both still trying to get out of single mode, but it's been seriously fantastic since we got over that. I can see myself with this girl for a very very very long time. It's impossible to fight with her, every disagreement we have is calmly and quickly resolved and set aside. Now we are talking about how we can't wait to live with each other and how badly we both want to move, how awesome it will be etc etc. Thing is, we are both at the point in our lives where we don't want to move to another apartment, and we both have savings that are planned for house downpayments. We are talking about possibly combining our savings to buy a house together. Currently saying that we will start looking for a place come summer time, which would be about 8-9 months into our relationship. We would seek out a lawyer to draft up an agreement saying we go in 50/50 and come out 50/50 by selling if we happen to break up, so the only downside would be the hassle of trying to sell. We get all the benefits of owning a home and living with someone we love. (we both have lame roomies right now!) How soon is too soon to shack up? Any of you ever purchased a home with someone you aren't married to? Looking for experiences and advice. I was going to say you're making a big leap and it could be dangerous. Combining money with a "girlfriend" could suck in the end, but I guess if you get a lawyer and a signed document involved it wouldn't be so bad. Personally I would never combine my money with anybody but a wife. Even then I hated doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I think phil might still be in the honeymoon stage. What about living together on a smaller scale before you go all out? I hate to be a downer, but what if things don’t work out? All of the sudden you own half a house with someone you hate. Source: signed a 12 month lease, things went to shit within ONE month. Neither of us could find sub leasers. lesson learned. But hey, I can't compare your relationship to mine or anyone elses. Maybe this is the girl you marry. Get it phil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 i bought my house from my ex when we split and i am currently poor as shit even making a good salary, because of my mortgage payment every month DONT DO IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashhax Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Renting an apartment sucks and it's foolish to do. If you are in a committed relationship or married buying a house is far better. What you spend a month on rent you could put towards your mortgage and at least have something to show for it. I'd never move in with a girl until marriage it just seems to complicated to move in with someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philviral Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Renting an apartment sucks and it's foolish to do. If you are in a committed relationship or married buying a house is far better. What you spend a month on rent you could put towards your mortgage and at least have something to show for it. I'd never move in with a girl until marriage it just seems to complicated to move in with someone else. This is our reasoning - it would be more economical and we would have something to show for it. I am definitely not moving into another appt, unless my current roomie (brother) bails out on me. That is decided! Some of the discussions we've been having around mortgage limits is sticking with a limit that either of us could handle on our own. I'm divorced and very cautious about moving in with a girl again. I want to make sure I do things right this time. Moved in with the first girl after college because we both needed someplace to go and it was easy. That was at about 1 year 4 months and the relationship lasted for another 2.5 years after that. It's not really "complicated" to move in with someone, per say, but it is a huge life impacting decision, and it can get complicated fast if shit doesn't work out!! I don't plan to make any decisions for another 6 months minimum. Just kinda putting out feelers to see if anyone else has purchased with a partner before and had it work out. I know 2 personally who have had it work out, and many who haven't... so lets here some more positive stories! lol. But of course don't hold back your negative ones if you have any . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kgry Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 very cautious about moving in with a girl again. I want to make sure I do things right this time. Backed. Lived with a girl twice and both times I rushed into the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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