Jon Parkin of GAZA gets accused of rape

[selfreliable]

I think it is rape is fairly provable when the woman does certain actions (like an immediate medical exam). Maybe I'm not remembering things correctly from Health class, but things open up and lubricate down there when she is consensual. When forced, it is painful and leaves damage that can be documented by a professional. 

 

So maybe at this point all she can do is defame him because it is gonna be her word against his. But she should have gone directly to the police.

 

Where exactly are these 1 and 2% numbers coming from? I'm not saying I believe that our justice system is perfect but I find it hard to believe it is that broken.

 

 

Being wet does not mean you want sex. She can be turned on and still be raped. Perhaps they were watching porn, perhaps she only wanted to do oral, none of that is an invitation to stick your dick in her vagina. She can beg to suck you off for hours, but if she doesnt want you inside her and tells you that, it is rape.  Rape kits can show rape was done,  but if you shower (which many women do to try and cleanse the memory) change/throw away clothes (which again is done often to forget about the event) a lot of the evidence is gone. Also, the whole lubrication, condom, spermicide etc thing can make it a mess to figure out.

 

As far as the numbers go, it comes from direct work within the domestic violence work field. Here is a study that RAINN did that is very similar. http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates

 

Needless to say, the justice system IS completely broken when it comes to rape.

[maneatingcow]

Looking at things I'm annoyed that the majority of posts around here seem to be critical of the woman or at least critical of her decision making.

 

So I'll give my opinion on the topic with the information at hand. 

 

Looking at the steps she set forth for the accused to live up to;

 

A)  Apologize both publicly and via written acknowledgement of his actions.  If this happened she would get something that most victims don't get, acknowledgement of how he hurt her.  Along with that he would forever be know as the guy from that band that raped that woman.  He would be stigmatized for life.  In a community where is literally a "Rock Star" he would forever be marked as a predator.  He would no longer be able to use his limited fame to prey on women.  Not saying there are or would be more women but it would dramatically hinder his ability to do something like this.

 

B-  While this, from the outside, seems a bit silly it forces the accused to look at stories of how his actions have harmed the victim/s.  Realistically this step should involve the accused being forced to attend both group and individual counseling sessions.

 

C)  Quitting, or going on hiatus, from Gaza would be the only way to immediately deal with other 2 steps set forth.

 

 

We can look at this and say she should have done this, or that, or I would have done such and such, but, you know what?  We aren't in her shoes.  Period.  End of story.

[selfreliable]

Looking at things I'm annoyed that the majority of posts around here seem to be critical of the woman or at least critical of her decision making.

 

So I'll give my opinion on the topic with the information at hand. 

 

Looking at the steps she set forth for the accused to live up to;

 

A)  Apologize both publicly and via written acknowledgement of his actions.  If this happened she would get something that most victims don't get, acknowledgement of how he hurt her.  Along with that he would forever be know as the guy from that band that raped that woman.  He would be stigmatized for life.  In a community where is literally a "Rock Star" he would forever be marked as a predator.  He would no longer be able to use his limited fame to prey on women.  Not saying there are or would be more women but it would dramatically hinder his ability to do something like this.

 

B-  While this, from the outside, seems a bit silly it forces the accused to look at stories of how his actions have harmed the victim/s.  Realistically this step should involve the accused being forced to attend both group and individual counseling sessions.

 

C)  Quitting, or going on hiatus, from Gaza would be the only way to immediately deal with other 2 steps set forth.

 

 

We can look at this and say she should have done this, or that, or I would have done such and such, but, you know what?  We aren't in her shoes.  Period.  End of story.

 

 

 

quoting this because it is fucking awesome and true.

[sonsofvipers]

maneatingcow and selfreliable... y'all rule. that is all. thank you.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

From what I read on another message board that I think should be considered: Why didn't/doesn't she post all the texts and phone calls from him that prove that he admitted to sleeping with her while she was asleep. 

 

She also claims they weren't cuddling despite being a self proclaimed cuddle slut.

 

I know her friend didn't get helped when she went to the cops, but why should that stop her from at least trying? Her logic seems very defeatist. If you don't at least try can you criticize the judicial system? It would probably help "her cause" even more if she had gone and been turned away. Then she could come on tumblr and say look the police won't help me could we try to bring justice from the people in the community. Maybe get someone to pass this on to someone in power. She also asks for others to come forward, but I have not heard one person claim he was a bad person (besides his band sucks) let alone other assault victims tell their stories.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

well, if she DOES try to press charges, if she put the "proof" out there to the general public it would more than likely become inadmissable to a trial. 

[thebiglebowski]

I want to ask some more questions about these numbers (not debating them, just more thorough explanation. I'll throw one -- does the probability of conviction correlate with whether or not the action was violent?).

 

It just seems like a thread like this isn't the place to talk about levels of rape and the corresponding legal punishments they deserve. Gonna leave it be.

[thebiglebowski]

well, if she DOES try to press charges, if she put the "proof" out there to the general public it would more than likely become inadmissable to a trial. 

 

Why? It wasn't obtained by any illegal means.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

well, if she DOES try to press charges, if she put the "proof" out there to the general public it would more than likely become inadmissable to a trial. 

 

 

If she does press charges it won't go to court so why does it matter.

[selfreliable]

I dont think it is as much as the level of violence (though the more violent can help, but as you see later on still wont guarantee anything). It comes down to the victim wanting to testify and have their life picked apart by the defense for everything that could be considered questionable in their past. Did they ever have a one night stand before? Are they a couple and he has power over her and beats her into silence(happens way more than you think)? Can they prove that it wasnt consensual? All the defendant has to say is "she said she wanted to" and she will need to provide evidence/witnesses that she said no, told him to stop, etc. Without that, he can and will say she likes it rough, hard, slapped around etc. Without an eye witness to see it or video/audio recording of it happening it is damn hard to prove. Also, plea deals will be accepted to save the victim going to court and having it all out in the open, but the defendant will plead to aggravated assault or gross misconduct or other misdemeanors and petty fines. Also, the defendant is provided free legal council while the victim usually isnt (unless they can get someone to take it pro bono).

[jhulud]

Hey Self, what do you do for a living and/or what's your education background? I'm honestly curious and not trolling or looking to start shit. Curious due to the extent and depth of your replies.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

I dont think it is as much as the level of violence (though the more violent can help, but as you see later on still wont guarantee anything). It comes down to the victim wanting to testify and have their life picked apart by the defense for everything that could be considered questionable in their past. Did they ever have a one night stand before? Are they a couple and he has power over her and beats her into silence(happens way more than you think)? Can they prove that it wasnt consensual? All the defendant has to say is "she said she wanted to" and she will need to provide evidence/witnesses that she said no, told him to stop, etc. Without that, he can and will say she likes it rough, hard, slapped around etc. Without an eye witness to see it or video/audio recording of it happening it is damn hard to prove. Also, plea deals will be accepted to save the victim going to court and having it all out in the open, but the defendant will plead to aggravated assault or gross misconduct or other misdemeanors and petty fines. Also, the defendant is provided free legal council while the victim usually isnt (unless they can get someone to take it pro bono).

 

If it is a criminal case the prosecutor is the state. She would not have to provide a lawyer. If she took him to civil court then she would need to lawyer up.

[selfreliable]

Majored in human services to be an addiction counselor. Took as many law courses as I could that came from family violence though and volunteer at my local rape crisis center. A large number of my friends work within the family violence field, being ADA's, lawmakers, head of shelters, programs etc.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

here. I guess this is your resolution.

http://amindfullofyou.tumblr.com/post/40807603441/in-respect-to-the-incident-aforementioned-on-my

[jerseydave77]

Bizarre ending.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

yeah, pretty weird how its just done.  Im glad if I ever go into law it wont be for criminal, I dont think i could handle it

[thebiglebowski]

"Don’t support Gaza. Don’t book shows for them. Don’t buy their merch."

 

"my intention never was to damper the reputation or musical careers of the members, and I apologize to them."

 

It's nice to apologize to band members who had nothing to do with this but the first part is not really truthful in my eyes. Should have written something like "In my fervor to shine a light on the wrongs that were done to me I tarnished the musical careers of people who were not involved in the incident and I apologize to them."

[jhook]

Nothing to see here.....move along.

[jhulud]

FINALLY!!! TUMBLR JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED!!!

 

[jhook]

This whole thing is odd.

[selfreliable]

The only thing I wonder about is when she says that neither will talk about it again is if that is because this has now moved onto a police matter or not. Either way, a bizarre ending of this.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

Why can't everyone come to a civil agreement after a rape occurs?

[jhook]

Why can't everyone come to a civil agreement after a rape occurs?

 

He most likely agreed to be interviewed for one of her anti-rape zines. His other rape victims could have also talked her into chilling out about it.

[chamb117]

The only thing I wonder about is when she says that neither will talk about it again is if that is because this has now moved onto a police matter or not. Either way, a bizarre ending of this.

 

same thought. rape isn't something a victim would simply agree to disagree about.

[ronniegwilliams]

As for why she was/has yet to contact authorities- just gathering from her post, it seems as though she is a woman who cares about social issues (inside/outside) of the (insert genre here) scene.  With this, including past instances with friends, perhaps she just doesn't trust the legal system and felt as though there would be a larger impact via the web.  With that said, if the guy ends up serving time he will be able to keep this instance to himself (for the most part), allowing further instances to happen in the future.  If he is put on blast via the web, then the world becomes aware of your actions.  

 

As for the statement about being in a sleep stupor- perhaps she's just covering every base possible, maybe she knows this never happened, but knows that an argument of "you were sleeping, how do you know you didn't say anything" could be used against her.  Again, past experiences from those around her may have influenced this statement.

 

As for the "don't support Gaza" statement- this guy a. makes money off of this band, b. is the frontman, therefore the figurehead of said band/business, and c. is outspoken about certain views that may be hypocritical rhetoric.

 

As far as the final statement via her blog: perhaps one of the two parties has contacted either the authorities or legal council which has either suggested (her side) to take down the previous statement in an attempt to help her case, or she has been contacted (his side) with an immediate cease and desist order.

 

I don't know whether or not her statements are factual, but I can assure to whomever posted the statement regarding money, that the last thing a person in need of financial support should do is hope for such from a member of a sub par independent metal band.  If the accusations are correct, I really really hope he gets what he deserves.

 

For the record, I still believe in the death penalty for rapist.  Harsh?  Maybe, but you can never give back what you've taken away in that situation.