Jon Parkin of GAZA gets accused of rape

[jhulud]

This came out of left field. According to this girl's Tumblr post, she is accusing GAZA vocalist Jon Parkin of raping her.

 

http://amindfullofyou.tumblr.com/post/40662972784/jon-parkin-from-gaza-is-a-fucking-rapist-tw-detailed

 

 

 

(Copied the post in case it gets taken down for some reason)

 

 

Jon Parkin from Gaza is a fucking rapist. [tw: detailed description of rape]

 

On the night of September 15th, Jon Jefferson Parkin, the vocalist of the SLC based band GAZA raped me while I was asleep.

Long story short, Jon was trying to date me and we were hanging out. I was feeling ill but felt compelled (read: manipulated) to stick around even though I had long decided I wasn’t interested in him earlier in the night (I figured out he was just fronting his social justice shit for cool radical punk points). After telling Jon “no” multiple times throughout the night, I finally got fed up of him trying and said, “Its not going to happen.”
“What?” he said as if he were clueless, “sex?”
“Yeah.” He said it was fine and said something along the lines of sex not being the only reason we were hanging out. I trusted him because we had talked pretty extensively about rape and consent before this night and he knew I planned the SlutWalk in Boise. So I went to sleep and he did too. We weren’t cuddling, opposite sides of the bed. I woke up 2 hours later from a dead sleep to him thrusting inside me. I was half asleep and thought it was a dream for about 30 seconds before I realized what was going on.

As soon as I was awake I knew I was being raped. I told him to stop and tried to push him away. My skirt and underwear were off (I have no memory of this). I curled up into a ball, violently shaking. “What’s wrong, don’t feel good?” “Yeah… thats it” I replied coldly. Then I said, “You can’t just start shit with people who are asleep”. Thats when he got really fucking scary. He was cowering over me (if you’ve never seen him, he’s HUGE, well over 6 feet) and said “what the fuck are you accusing me of?” I decided that trying to argue/fight him would probably end up in physical pain or being raped further so I deescalated the situation and told him to go back to sleep, which he did. After I worked up the courage I jumped up, grabbed what clothes I could find (didn’t manage to find my underwear) and ran the fuck out of there, and screamed back at him not to follow me. He did, as I was driving away I saw him running toward my car with my coat. I stopped the car, ran to grab the coat from his hand, and ran back to my car. He chased after me and slipped his hand in the door before I could close it and pried it out of my hands. He stood there screaming at me, and refused to let go of the car door. I told him that he raped me. He was furious. I told him to get the fuck away from me, to let go of my car, to leave me alone, and he kept saying “lets talk about it now” or “what the fuck are you accusing me of”. Finally, another guy overheard our screaming match and came over and said “what the fuck is going on over here?” I screamed back, “this fucking guy won’t leave me alone, let me go!” Jon turned toward him and let go of the car and I slammed the door and drove the fuck away.

He called me about 5 minutes later and tried to convince me that he didn’t rape me. He claimed that he asked me if it was okay and that I said yes. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MEMORY OF THIS EVENT. He didn’t fuck ask me anything. Even if I did in theory say yes in a sleep stupor, guess what? I WAS ASLEEP. SLEEPING PEOPLE CANNOT CONSENT. When I told this to him, he replied, “how was I supposed to know if you were awake or not.” “exactly!” I said, “thats why you don’t initiate sex with people who are dead asleep! because you have no way of knowing if they’re awake or not!” He didn’t care. He sent me a text later saying that he was sorry for any “misunderstanding”.

Its not a fucking misunderstanding, Jon. Having sex with people while they’re asleep is rape. He raped me.

I want to put him through an accountability process that involves Jon:
A) apologizing both publicly and through a letter for raping me,

B- reading and understanding books and zines about consent and rape and
C) quitting Gaza until he deals with his shit

Rapists shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the hardcore/punk scene. Don’t support Gaza until they either kick Jon out, or Jon goes through the accountability process outlined above.
There are a few things you can do to support me. Spread this around far and wide. Tell your friends who go to shows to be wary of him. (He met me when I was tabling for my zine distro at one of his shows). Don’t support Gaza. Don’t book shows for them. Don’t buy their merch. Don’t support a band who’s front man claims to be all about social justice but is actually a rapist. Let Gaza know that you won’t support their band until Jon leaves or goes through an accountability process. Here is their facebook and tumblr.
 

If you’re going to be a rape apologist and say that what happened wasn’t rape, just stop now. I don’t want to hear it. I know I was raped, and I don’t give a fuck what you say.

If you’ve been raped by Jon before, please send me a message. I would love to hear others experiences.

[thebiglebowski]

 

If you’ve been raped by Jon before, please send me a message. I would love to hear others experiences.

 

This is a very weird way to end this.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

Go to the cops.

 

Why did she sleep in his bed?

 

How did she not wake up earlier?

 

She said she was dead asleep then said she may have been in a sleep stupor and said yes.

 

Isn't going public with details about the crime usually not a good idea from a defense stand point? I doubt any lawyer would say this is a good idea.

[whoshotthefrog]

This is horrible if it's true but shouldn't she report this to the police instead of making a post on tumblr about it.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

so, did she call the cops and file a report against him?

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

not to demean what happened, and I understand distrust/wanting to forget/reasons people do not report rape/sexual assault, but she clearly is/wants to be vocal about it, so I hope that she files charges. 

[mattisr1984]

well, this should spread like wildfire.

[steviex2shoes]

Yeah I don't understand this at all.  Why aren't the police involved?  Why were they sleeping in the same bed, if she clearly was "fed up with him"?  I'm not saying if this accusation is true that it was called for, but something just seems really off about the story.  Also in the story when she realized what was happening she said to stop and he did.  I don't know its all just strange.

[GradedOnACurve]

Not saying the story is true or not, but rape is terrible, Falsely accusing someone of rape is also terrible.

[Guest]

Immediate reaction, why did she sleep in his bed? She sounds like an intelligent girl, why would she even stay. I don’t want to downgrade what she went through, but those are serious accusations. I wish things like this were kept out of social media.

[Guest]

when I googled him a photo of jon gosselin came up.

[jerseydave77]

Sharing a bed is not an invitation to rape. I've shared beds with friends, male and female, with no desire for sex. Yes, he made passes at her but I've been there myself on the other side. I hate the social media element of this but let's see if she went to the police or not. Apparently from a previous post she only told just told her Mom. 

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

sleeping in the same bed doesnt bother me, it happens, especially at parties or in communial living situations like squatter homes, that people share beds. 

[Guest]

agreed, but I would absolutely not share a bed with a man I wasn’t interested in who had been continually trying to hit on me all night.

She is going to get backlash from this most likely, and it sucks because when something like this happens you don't want to hear that people don't believe you or support you - that is why I'm worried about the social media aspect. Someone else mentioned that this is going to spread like wildfire and it will. which is scary.

[jhook]

Making him read a zine about rape is really going to clear up the issue. The only thing she should  do is report it to the police instead of trying to rally a cause against the kids band and posting on social networks about it.

[selfreliable]

Just because she slept in the bed doesnt mean shit. That isnt an invitation to rape anyone. It means "Im tired and want to go to sleep comfortably as possible." I have slept in the same bed with many female and male friends. Some I had feelings for, some I didnt. None of those situations ended in rape or sex. I dont care if she was naked fingering herself in the bed, that doesnt give this guy any right to have sex with her if she said no/is asleep/has stated before that she didnt want to.

[jhulud]

As was said, "Not saying the story is true or not, but rape is terrible, Falsely accusing someone of rape is also terrible."

 

But after reading through the post, something's just not sitting right with me. Why not go to the police immediately? Why wait this time and instead go to social media? Rape is a very serious accusation and charge that police should be involved and reported to.

 

It may be minor, but why stop the car to get the coat/jacket if, according to the girl, Jon was furious? I would have kept on driving off coat or no coat. Maybe even turned around and run his ass over if he had just raped me.

 

 

 

[jhook]

This whole thing is a slippery slope. If you think she is a liar that makes you a jerk. If you side with him it makes you a jerk. The whole situation is not cool.

 

I also want to back up my previous post. If this story is true she should stop trying to rally an internet buzz about it. Go to the authorities and have him charged with a crime. Going to jail will teach him more of a lesson then telling people to boycott his band and read a book about sexual consent.

[jerseydave77]

The social media campaign is what's off-putting to me. However, most people never report their attacks. They have great reasons and often it takes some time to even comprehend what just occurred. In situations where the perpetrator is known within one's circle of friends it complicates things even further. Who do you talk to? How do you keep control of something uncontrollable? 

[selfreliable]

Have you ever been through the criminal system for being raped? In my state, less than 2% of charges of rape brought to the police end in the case being brought to court. Well less than half of those end in the perp being convicted. Not to mention that the victim gets dragged through the mud, everyone questions every decision in her life she ever made, and god forbid she has ever had sex before, because that alone will make her a slut in the public eye. She will have to relive it numerous times in court, to lawyers, have it picked apart by the defense attorney. She will have to spend close to two years in the legal system with absolutely no help at all on how to fill out the paperwork correctly, unless she hires a lawyer. If she is selling zines at shows, something tells me she probably isnt rolling in the money to afford a lawyer that can help her on this.

 

So she stopped and wanted her coat back. People make odd decisions when going through a traumatic event. Perhaps she wanted to make things seem as normal as possible to try and survive the event and not end up with her head kicked in. Dont even pretend to know what it is like to be a rape survivor unless you are one, and even then you cant fault any of their decision making.

[jerseydave77]

Boom. Well put. 

[jhulud]

Hey man, I just expressed what I felt was odd to me. Not siding with anyone in this situation as not all facts are known.

 

Sheesh. Internets can get too serious at times.

[selfreliable]

Also, food for thought. The number of false rape allegations is well below the national average of false allegations for every other crime. It is actually the lowest percentage of false reports of any crime in America.

[thebiglebowski]

Everyone on here is gonna feel the same way about rape. I think we can have an intelligent discussion without anything being misconstrued as supporting or you could even say "not attacking" rape in any situation.

 

How feasible is it to have sex for 30 seconds and think you are asleep? In the case of being stupid drunk, I could see it. I just don't understand how that could happen to a normal sleeper. Yeah, I don't have a vagina but I do have a mouth, an ear, and other orifices. If someone stuck say a q-tip into one of them, I would be up pretty quickly. There would be other contact to the outside of the body as well.

 

I guess my point is, "I could never see this happening to me", regardless of how deep of a sleep I was in. Am I the only one?

[jhook]

She obviously has no problem being vocal about it. By naming the kid and posting about it in a public forum she is going to open herself up to criticism. Like I said in the post I made above. It's a slippery slope. If the story is true then that kid is a piece of shit. Posting stuff in public forums and trying to spread the story around is not going to help her case. The correct thing to do is file charges.  The kid committed a crime and a very serious one at that.  The "accountability process" she wants him to go through is not going to stop him from doing it again. Know what makes a person who raped someone regret the crime they committed? Going to jail and having to register as a sex offender not writing an "I am sorry" note and reading some literature.