Whats the worst injury you've ever had?

[bruins4ever]

Put my tooth through my upper lip by running into a pole on the playground in kindergarten. Broken wrist in grade 5 from falling on the ice on the playground, one concussion from hockey, and a broken finger from taking a slapshot off the hand in hockey. Nothing too major.

[oakland]

I had two fingers on my left hand cut off by a lawnmower when I was a kid. Luckily, they were reattached and give me only minor problems. One has no bone from the first knuckle up, but it isn't a problem. I also crashed my motorcycle into a tree and nearly severed my bottom lip. Thanks to a little plastic surgery you'd never know it happened.

[mcm1610]

I've gotten through without too much bad stuff.

I was taken off the ice on a stretcher once though. I LAID some little fucker out in hockey, but he went flying into the boards and I was getting a boarding penalty. I touched the puck, the whistle goes, then someone retaliated and I went backwards into the boards. Pretty serious concussion.. out cold for about 30 minutes. I woke up and couldn't feel anything or move anything because of the compression in my spine. I got back-boarded and ambulanced to the ER where they took x-rays, found nothing, and let me lay in a bed until I regained feeling and movement at like 3am next to someone who was permanently paralyzed in the next bed.

Took a puck in the mouth which hurt like a motherfucker. A quarter inch higher and I'd be missing multiple teeth.

Shattered the tip of my left pinky getting hit and having all the weight of my stick crush my finger. Taught me to not hold my stick with my little-guy over the top of the butt-end anymore.

And finally a non-hockey one - got my nose broken, lots of cuts, a broken rib, a million bloody spots, and a lot of minor things getting jumped at some stupid bar in Quincy in Boston.

[controlthebleeding]

Not the worst injury, but the weirdest:

When i was 11 i was coming back from my friend Efrin's house. He has a half pipe that we ride every day. The night before we were riding till 4am so i just spent the night. The following day i was just doing my usual ride home (about a mile). I was passing on the sidewalk and some guy was mowing his lawn. Anyway, as i'm passing at that instant, the weirdest thing happened. Apparently his lawnmover whipped out a rock from underneath and it somehow hit the pack of my leg. it wasn't fun at all. i was just passing when i felt this sudden burning and i collapsed. I limped home and tried to get my mom to take it out with tweezers, but apparently she couldnt. it was embedded about 1/2" into my calve and it didn't feel good. It wasn't bleeding at the time.. just looked nasty. She took me to the dr's office and i had to have a small surgery to cut it out... that shot i got to numb my leg was probably the worst pain i have ever felt. More so when i fucked up my knee from a skating injury on some metal coping.. Anyway, they wound up making a incision to dig it out (oh the blood that flew out once he pulled it out) and sutured me up and i was out of school for a few days... now i have a little scar on the back of my leg.. whoo hoo!!

[rockstar71888]

broke my shoulder into 3 pieces and dislocated my arm in one fell swoop. the culprit: razor scooter.

true story

[evvandflow]

i got a pretty nasty cut on my arm once

[xxmartinxx]

I hit my head going off a launch ramp on my BMX so hard on the concrete that I suffered amnesia. I don't remember what happened and lost most of that day. It's pretty fucked up. I've sustained so many head traumas and concussions that I'm kind of concerned that my brain isn't right anymore.

I also have a large section of my leg that has nerve damage from a fall skiing as a kid.

[Guest chappy5]

Nothing too serious but: Fractured my left wrist when I was a kid and went a week with it like that before it broke. and burnt my self about a year ago, it left a nice scar too.

[saxamaphone]

About two hours ago, I slipped on the front stoop and cut my arm open slightly and had to get stitches (good thing I have a nurse for a roommate). That's really the worst so far.

[danthemjfan23]

About two hours ago, I slipped on the front stoop and cut my arm open slightly and had to get stitches (good thing I have a nurse for a roommate). That's really the worst so far.

somebody should start a thread called "what's the most money you've ever found just sitting in the street unattended?"

[aviolentworld]

junior high i went to take a piss and noticed my right ball was red and bigger than the left. the next day the thing swelled up to soft ball size proportions. went to the doc and got an ultrasound and it ended up i had a bacterial infection. this was probably the worst pain i had ever felt.

[boizee]

Tore my calf at a Dropkick Murphys show in Denver about eight/nine years ago...

[xxmartinxx]

junior high i went to take a piss and noticed my right ball was red and bigger than the left. the next day the thing swelled up to soft ball size proportions. went to the doc and got an ultrasound and it ended up i had a bacterial infection. this was probably the worst pain i had ever felt.

My testicles are throbbing in pain just reading this.

[danthemjfan23]

i really need to start making a list of all the best posts from 2010, and then at the end of the year make a thread that just quotes them all.

martin's last post would certainly make the cut.

[Duff]

i really need to start making a list of all the best posts from 2010, and then at the end of the year make a thread that just quotes them all.

martin's last post would certainly make the cut.

some of them would probably be even funnier out of context.

[One Hundred Fifty-Two]

i really need to start making a list of all the best posts from 2010, and then at the end of the year make a thread that just quotes them all.

martin's last post would certainly make the cut.

You can throw the "best posts of the year" in the hall of fame thread.

[littlerobot]

Got two stories.

The first was when I was probably like 6 years old. I was spinning around the room on all fours and I ended up slamming my temple into the corner of a coffee table. Staples on the head for that one.

Second one was whiplash from a pretty bad crash. Our truck ended up flipping over a couple times. This was in 2008.

[scottheisel]

I have three stories.

1. When I was 12, I was on tour with the boychoir I sang in at the time, and we were in Washington, DC. We arrived at the Holocaust Museum for a concert as we had been working on a really elaborate choral work called "I Never Saw Another Butterfly" with all the lyrics taken from poetry that was written by Jewish kids who were in the Theresienstadt concentration camp. (Sidenote: This was some really fucking heavy shit for a 12-year-old to be singing.)

So we unload off our tour bus and start moving down a flight of stairs to the auditorium on the bottom level of the museum. At the time, I had only been in the choir for a few months and was still very much "the new guy," so I took every chance I could get to impress the older kids. While we were going downstairs, a lot of the older kids were going down them sideways -- like, crossing their feet over each other instead of just walking down normally. I decided to do it, too, but quickly tripped myself up and started stumbling awkwardly down the stairs, picking up a ton of steam. The staircase had a landing which turned to the right, but I couldn't slow myself, so I slammed right into the landing wall, putting my arms in front of me to try and brace for impact. I ended up breaking both bones in my right arm (one completely, one was what they called a "green stick break," as it didn't snap in half, but definitely was fractured). I looked down and saw that instead of my arm running straight, it legitimately looked like this (the divot being the broken bones):

____ _____

|____|

____ _____

|____|

(Thank god it didn't break skin.)

They called the paramedics, who showed up and put this weird air cast on my arm which hurt SO MUCH and put me into a wheelchair to take me out to the ambulance. I still remember the excruciating pain every time the wheelchair ran over an inconsistency in the floor, sending shockwaves up my body and into my severly mangled arm. I was taken to the George Washington University Hospital, where I was poked and prodded at by med students who, in my highly informed 12-year-old mind, had NO FUCKING CLUE what they were doing, because everything they attempted made it hurt 10 times worse. They ended up wheeling in this IV-type stand that had a sort of Chinese finger trap contraption hanging off of it -- the point being to raise my arm up, put my fingers in the locks and pop my bone back into place.

I passed out from the pain. The next thing I know, I wake up, still in the ER, with a gigantic fucking cast above the elbow on my arm. A chaperone called my parents and told them what happened, and to meet me at O'Hare in Chicago. The chaperone took me to the airport where one of the most embarrassing moments of my life happened. I went to the bathroom and peed, but was unable to zip up my fly with only one hand. I had to stumble back out to the gate, still doped up on pain meds, and find my chaperone. I still remember finding him and starting to cry as I said "Mr. DeMarco, I c-c-c-can't z-z-z-z-zip up my sh-sh-sh-shorrrrts..." Definitely a bit of a low point in my adolescent life.

The plus side was, the chaperone flew all the time for business and got us seats in first class. I was awake for take-off, then remember looking out the window and thinking I saw a cloud in the shape of Elvis' head and decided it was time to go to sleep. The next thing I knew, I was being picked up by my parents.

It's amazing how much a broken bone can totally just ruin a kid's summer. I was supposed to go to summer camp and boy scout camp but couldn't do either; I couldn't go to the local pool; our family has a cottage on Lake Michigan but when we went up there later that summer, I couldn't do any swimming at all -- it really was a miserable few months. However, at the start of 7th grade that fall, I was able to milk my broken arm to get out of an entire semester of PE, even though the cast was taken off around mid-September. I was always proud of that.

(I'll write up my other two stories later.)

[mariawithoneeye]

I broke my pinky finger flying off my bike

[scottheisel]

I broke my pinky finger flying off my bike

[mariawithoneeye]

hahahaha! yeah that's pretty much what happened. I always carry around a little alien man in my bike basket

[cesar11]

I've never broken any bones (yet) but I have two stories.

Story#1

When i was about..mm...11-ish, I went with my dad to my uncles place to help him move into his new house.

I was hanging out with my cousin and his friends outside of the house and we were sitting on the back of the truck they were using. I was swinging my legs while sitting down and then they started messing with the level thing that rises up and down and by this point i had forgotten that my legs were on the inside on the level thing and the guy pretty much smashed my right leg and i YELLED like a motherfucker. How the bone didn't break I don't know but my cousin begged me not to tell my dad. So i decided to walk it off. Big mistake. By the time we got home home, the pain was unbearable and I told my dad what had happened, with tears running down my face. He had to carry me inside.

Story #2

This was in 2008. I was at work and the Gnarls Barkley show had just finished. At work we recycle so we pick up everything. Plastic Bottles, cans, wine bottles, everything. Mind all of you, I was stoned out of my mind. So, i was picking up some bottles and putting them in my bag. As I lift up my bag, I feel like something poked me a little above my right ankle. I looked down to it and I see a river of blood. Turns out I had broken glass in my bag and when I picked it up, the glass cut through my bag and sliced me up pretty good. Here's the kicker though: I felt NOTHING. It didn't hurt or anything. I got a rag and tied it around so that the bleeding would stop but then about 30 seconds later, the rag is really bloody. My supervisor at the time asks me what happened and I told him and he asks to see it and i take off the rag and then we both see my bone. He then freaks out and rushes me to the EMT folks that are there on sight (mind you, I'm still fucking blown and have a good dub on me). As I'm filling out the paperwork, the EMT lady looks at it and goes "Yeah..you're gonna need stitches. Go to the ER." Go to the ER, the guy who's helping me out knows that I'm high and he chuckles and stitches me up. 7 stitches on the inside and 11 on the outside. The next day my boss finds out what happened and he felt bad so he gives me the Employee Of The Week award thing and I get a $25 iTunes gift card.

[mariawithoneeye]

I've never broken any bones (yet) but I have two stories.

Story#1

When i was about..mm...11-ish, I went with my dad to my uncles place to help him move into his new house.

I was hanging out with my cousin and his friends outside of the house and we were sitting on the back of the truck they were using. I was swinging my legs while sitting down and then they started messing with the level thing that rises up and down and by this point i had forgotten that my legs were on the inside on the level thing and the guy pretty much smashed my right leg and i YELLED like a motherfucker. How the bone didn't break I don't know but my cousin begged me not to tell my dad. So i decided to walk it off. Big mistake. By the time we got home home, the pain was unbearable and I told my dad what had happened, with tears running down my face. He had to carry me inside.

Story #2

This was in 2008. I was at work and the Gnarls Barkley show had just finished. At work we recycle so we pick up everything. Plastic Bottles, cans, wine bottles, everything. Mind all of you, I was stoned out of my mind. So, i was picking up some bottles and putting them in my bag. As I lift up my bag, I feel like something poked me a little above my right ankle. I looked down to it and I see a river of blood. Turns out I had broken glass in my bag and when I picked it up, the glass cut through my bag and sliced me up pretty good. Here's the kicker though: I felt NOTHING. It didn't hurt or anything. I got a rag and tied it around so that the bleeding would stop but then about 30 seconds later, the rag is really bloody. My supervisor at the time asks me what happened and I told him and he asks to see it and i take off the rag and then we both see my bone. He then freaks out and rushes me to the EMT folks that are there on sight (mind you, I'm still fucking blown and have a good dub on me). As I'm filling out the paperwork, the EMT lady looks at it and goes "Yeah..you're gonna need stitches. Go to the ER." Go to the ER, the guy who's helping me out knows that I'm high and he chuckles and stitches me up. 7 stitches on the inside and 11 on the outside. The next day my boss finds out what happened and he felt bad so he gives me the Employee Of The Week award thing and I get a $25 iTunes gift card.

score!

[kurtmanner]

I love to cook and have since I was a kid. When I was about 10 I got my first (and since, only) mandolin (vegetable slicer) and went to work right away. Being the wise 10 year old I was I decided I could be like the dudes on t.v. and not even use the guard for it. I WAS THE BEST. Wrong. Within a couple minutes I was nearing the end of my first cucumber when I felt a sharp pain and realized I had sliced the top 1/8" of my middle finger clean off. It even landed right in with the cucumbers. Mmm.

Another time, 6 years later to be exact, a similar tale of my genius took form. I had just had my tonsils removed two weeks before the end of summer and was to start my first job as a dishwasher/bus boy at a barbecue restaurant. Having your tonsils out after puberty is absurdly painful and I couldn't talk for a week. I literally woke up just barely able to talk on the first day I had to work. It's safe to assume work sucked that night, and it did. At about midnight I was taking out a ton of trash. One bag in particular was really heavy and needed some extra lift. Now, glass items did indeed have their own bins, and that's not a difficult rule to follow in the kitchen, however, it was absurd of me to assume the meatheads workings there could really follow suit. I grabbed it by the bottom with my left hand and launched it into the dumpster. I felt a little bit of pain, like a piece of plastic scraping me through the bag, but once I rounded the corner and was in some decent light I could see blood pouring from hand. I had grabbed a nice handful of broken glass and had almost scooped a chunk about a 1/2" around out of my thumb and had pierced my middle finger almost to the bone. I had to just rinse it out in cold water, put a bandage on it and have my dad come pick me up. I should have gotten a couple stitches, but I suppose it wasnt necessary as it's healed decently.

[oakland]

junior high i went to take a piss and noticed my right ball was red and bigger than the left. the next day the thing swelled up to soft ball size proportions. went to the doc and got an ultrasound and it ended up i had a bacterial infection. this was probably the worst pain i had ever felt.

My testicles are throbbing in pain just reading this.

I have a friend who was surfing in really cold water and got hit in the nuts with his board. It hurt, but he kept surfing for another hour and the cold water numbed him up a bit. When he got out, he noticed his suit was slashed. So he goes in the shower room, pulls off his wet suit, and one of his nuts just unrolls out of the sack onto the floor. That one gave me nightmares for years.