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I've got a date lined up for tomorrow.

We hooked up several years ago, but it was never a thing. Saw each other at the bar the other night, and now this is happening.

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QUESTION:

 

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but maybe one of you people can point me to it. I'm fighting with my fiancé over the fact that I occasionally watch porn when the bed hasn't been put to use in a while. Any advice? This is the second time we've had it out over this, I thought she understood, but now she's just kind of treating me like shit. 

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what type of people do you associate yourself with...?

and if it's tinder or pof, I find those apps ridiculous.

The irritating thing with all these apps is that people of my age who are now suddenly single or whatever post their "pof fails" and the like on instagram and facebook, dick pics included. I don't want to see that shit! I hated the single thing when I was single, and I sure as fuck don't want to see the cringe and drama of online dating when I'm in a relationship.*

 

 

RE: porno use. Early in our relationship me and my gf agreed it wasn't a problem. We never talk about it so it's never an issue. Some of my friends have wives/gfs that are dead against watching any kind of porn and I personally don't think that's a useful attitude to have. But different strokes (lol) I guess. How did you fiancee know, did she find out or did you tell her?

 

*not that i got a lot of dick pics when I was single

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QUESTION:

 

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but maybe one of you people can point me to it. I'm fighting with my fiancé over the fact that I occasionally watch porn when the bed hasn't been put to use in a while. Any advice? This is the second time we've had it out over this, I thought she understood, but now she's just kind of treating me like shit. 

 

I never understood the girls who got jealous over porn. porn just does it for a guy, who cares? then again, I partake in it pretty regularly too so I can't say much.

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you actually threw up? Oh my goodness!

 

I like the real/amateur ones. I don't like the waterboy with a 10 inch penis delivering a jug to a half naked woman type scenes haha

 

never thought i'd get this deep into my preferences before, who cares though.

 

i find that most woman deny watching it at all. or maybe I'm just in the minority?

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QUESTION:

 

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but maybe one of you people can point me to it. I'm fighting with my fiancé over the fact that I occasionally watch porn when the bed hasn't been put to use in a while. Any advice? This is the second time we've had it out over this, I thought she understood, but now she's just kind of treating me like shit. 

 

There is probably a nicer way to say this but I'd let her pick between you watching porn or you lying to her about it. Whichever she prefers.

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from what I understand girls get mad/jealous?

 

maybe thinking they're being compared to the porn girls or something? I don't know.  jonnywreck, why exactly is your girl getting upset?

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girls are so weird.

 

i know someone (i don't know that i'd use the word 'friend', considering i just know him through IG, and he lives across the country), and his mom recently died. it really hit home to me cuz i'm super close to my mom. i asked him for his address so i could send him some cookies or something and he wouldn't give it to me because he said he would get in trouble with his wife. apparently some girls think it's impossible for their boyfriend/husband to even interact with a female and not be cheating with them? soooo glad i'm not in a relationship like that, cuz that must suck.

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There are a lot of reasons that I've seen.  The simplest could be that the SO is uncomfortable with it (morals? religion?), or that they carry low self esteem, etc.  I watched a video recently of a spoken word artist talking about violence in porn and how it gives the wrong impressions to people about sex (mainly the young folk) and they end up physically hurting their sexual partners, expect things of them, and ultimately turn to violence in the bedroom because they think how it's done in porn is how it's done in the ~real world.

 

 

Which are all valid, in my opinion.

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Look man. People are going to watch porn, she might as well ask you not to drink water. 

 

Clearly there is an underlying issue, if you don't know what it is, you can not solve it. If she isn't forthcoming with it, you can not solve it. If you don't discuss it, you can not solve it. Unless never watching it again seems reasonable to you, you need to figure out what the issue is and talk it out.

 

There could be a compromise, perhaps a different genre, style or whatever would be less objectionable to her. If she continues to forbid it with no rationale, there isn't much you can do but try to hide it and fight about it in the future. 

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The only decent advice so far is from Refferson.

 

no one else really even offered advice hook B)

 

we all want to know why she mad!

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Yeahhhh, my stomach did not handle it well. I think it shocks me less if it pops up on tumblr or something. I don't get as sick, but I still get queasy.

Sex does not compute in my mind at all. I find it pretty horrific. I know it's an irrational state of mind but something I can't shake.

Weird.

Ugh jealous hostile girlfriends. No no no.

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She's very jealous and is ultra insecure about her body. Last night she told me she was too tired for sex and jokingly said "You're just on a jack off." Then she asked me "I know I've been kind of slow sexually lately (she claims it's the pill), but have you been jerking off?" I told her "Yea, every now and then," and she just flew off the handle. She seems to think if prefer these types of women to her? I don't, but now she is throwing a fit. She's very jealous, and it's something we're working on, but really... Porn? It just seems so harmless. It's not like I watch anything specific or out of the ordinary - just a visual aid to help me get the job done.

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I've read that the pill can kill your sex drive. I don't know much about it though. Glad you are being understanding and working things out with her though. She's the one you lay down next to every night, obviously you love and prefer her!

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