cambionic Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Yeah, deep, intellectual night talks are the best. hahaa congrats record junkie It's good, but I will admit - no number of "casual encounters" can replace the feeling of a fulfilling long-term relationship. I still miss my LTR girlfriend, I still think about her every day. I honestly don't think I'll ever get over/forget her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliminator Jr. Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I honestly don't think I'll ever get over/forget her. I wouldn't say you'll ever forget her. You'll eventually get over missing her and that's what most important, because that's the point where you'll be able to move on with your life. I still have feelings for my ex girlfriend, but in a way that I care about her deeply and that I genuinely want her to be happy. I'm absolutely fine with the fact that I am not the one to make her happy, I just hope that there's someone/something out there that does just that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Last night I discovered why Tinder is so awesome. If trying to actually date girls, try okcupid. I believe that the "cleaner" image of the site/app attracts better girls (assuming you are trying to date and not just bang). If you like tinder more, stick with it. Just saying try both and then decide. I screwed around with Tinder for half a year before trying okc. Have had at least 2x better luck there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I honestly don't think I'll ever get over/forget her. Why would you want to forget something that had such a significant impact on your life? Have sex with other people. Date them. Or don't. Just fucking enjoy yourself. Hey everyone.. Just fucking enjoy yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 If trying to actually date girls, try okcupid. I believe that the "cleaner" image of the site/app attracts better girls (assuming you are trying to date and not just bang). If you like tinder more, stick with it. Just saying try both and then decide. I screwed around with Tinder for half a year before trying okc. Have had at least 2x better luck there. People always say this about the difference between okc/tinder but I know people who've seriously dated people they met on tinder. I've also known a LOT of people who just hook up through OKC. In general I'd say you're right about the perception of each, but in the end it's what you make of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 the margin of error is just way higher with tinder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 If trying to actually date girls, try okcupid. I believe that the "cleaner" image of the site/app attracts better girls (assuming you are trying to date and not just bang). If you like tinder more, stick with it. Just saying try both and then decide. I screwed around with Tinder for half a year before trying okc. Have had at least 2x better luck there. I'm not sure if I can jump into the dating game again. I've become a little jaded to the whole "wholesome lasting relationship" idea as a result of recent events. I do like the depth of OKC, that I can read up on the girl's personality before taking the plunge. There's always the very real risk that 1. she can be dumb as a box of rocks, or 2. she can be very literally crazy. Tinder is a shallow app that is much better suited for mindless hookups/flings than OKC is, but I can see how a lasting relationship can spring from it. But as for right now, to me, love is just a self-perpetuating evolutionary chemical imbalance in the brain existing for the sole purpose of procreation. We're just victims of addiction to a neurochemical cocktail that keeps us from eating our babies. At least, that's how I feel for now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I recently discovered the show Man Seeking Woman and it touches on so many things I've been going through presently. Of course, it relies on hyperbolic surrealist comedy, but it does so with a heart of truth. I can relate to a great deal of the subject matter. I would recommend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 OKC fucking sucks i hate it. It's sooooo creepy to me. I had a party tonight and I reeeeeally liked one of the girls who came, and I've known her for a while but she got more attractive and more mature as shes now a senior in college and she talked to me all night and I walked her to her car after but I have no idea if it was friendly or opportunity for something more so I'm feelin hella :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 OKC fucking sucks i hate it. It's sooooo creepy to me. I had a party tonight and I reeeeeally liked one of the girls who came, and I've known her for a while but she got more attractive and more mature as shes now a senior in college and she talked to me all night and I walked her to her car after but I have no idea if it was friendly or opportunity for something more so I'm feelin hella :wacko: More of a Tinder guy yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeine Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Had tinder for 2 weeks, deleted it, tried okc, deleted after a few days.... not enough people in my area signed up for either to really be useful. I guess people don't wanna put themselves out there and I started to feel that too and took my profiles down. I guess most everyone's already paired up and I've missed the boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Doubtful. I can't see where you live but unless it's Antarctica, there are single people around you. It's probably the most efficient way to date in a sparsely populated area. Sounds to me like you were being impatient and expecting too much. Do what you want, but it doesn't cost you anything to leave a profile up there and you never know if the person of your dreams could sign up tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Had tinder for 2 weeks, deleted it, tried okc, deleted after a few days.... not enough people in my area signed up for either to really be useful. I guess people don't wanna put themselves out there and I started to feel that too and took my profiles down. I guess most everyone's already paired up and I've missed the boat. My area is a little limited too. I feel like these dating sites attract a specific type of person, and I feel like I might not fit in with that demographic. I find that I encounter more "matches" just driving through town than I do poring through all the profiles. Though i do wish I could swipe left in real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 My roommate has been just swiping right on every single girl he sees (except for a very select few) and been conversing with about a dozen or so that have matched with him. I don't know how he does it, but his confidence is through the roof. He's already brought home three girls and two of them brought their friends. I just sit in the corner beating on my guitar and occasionally throwing my two-cents into the conversations. When a girl starts to flirt, I either shut down or play the asshole (which isn't my forte), and that doesn't work out for me either way. Goddamn I'm not ready for this single life stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 My roommate has been just swiping right on every single girl he sees (except for a very select few) and been conversing with about a dozen or so that have matched with him. I don't know how he does it, but his confidence is through the roof. He's already brought home three girls and two of them brought their friends. I just sit in the corner beating on my guitar and occasionally throwing my two-cents into the conversations. When a girl starts to flirt, I either shut down or play the asshole (which isn't my forte), and that doesn't work out for me either way. Goddamn I'm not ready for this single life stuff. If you're not ready then don't push it and don't even feel bad about it. I was single for 3 years before I met the current guy i'm talking to and even with that I've taken my time with. I just wasn't ready to date before and so I didn't. My friends tried to pressure me to just mingle but I shut down until I felt ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 If you're not ready then don't push it and don't even feel bad about it. I was single for 3 years before I met the current guy i'm talking to and even with that I've taken my time with. I just wasn't ready to date before and so I didn't. My friends tried to pressure me to just mingle but I shut down until I felt ready. It's such a bewilderingly complex and contradictory situation to be in. Sometimes I feel like I've moved on (or I should) and other times I just feel so damn alone. The transition from secure homebody to insecure bachelor is so arduous. Right now, all my stuff is still at my old place. I've been living out of a suitcase for the last month. I haven't even spun a record in over a month because of this predicament. I really would like to grab up all my stuff and move out, but I feel that it will be so final. I know it's stupid, but in the back of my head I still feel like I'm in a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 It's such a bewilderingly complex and contradictory situation to be in. Sometimes I feel like I've moved on (or I should) and other times I just feel so damn alone. The transition from secure homebody to insecure bachelor is so arduous. Right now, all my stuff is still at my old place. I've been living out of a suitcase for the last month. I haven't even spun a record in over a month because of this predicament. I really would like to grab up all my stuff and move out, but I feel that it will be so final. I know it's stupid, but in the back of my head I still feel like I'm in a relationship. It took me a full year before I felt happy. I went through a pretty bad depression and alienated myself from my friends. Everything you're feeling is normal and overtime it will start to feel normal and you won't feel alone. Adjusting to being single is one of the hardest things to do. I used to think that I would never find anyone as good as my ex and that he was irreplaceable but you just find new people with new interests and things just kind of surprise you. Actually it was after my split and my depression that led me into all of this, "the hobby". That alone has made my life feel so much happier. Getting involved in a new hobby or activities that are out of your normal routine can help distract you and make your life feel more exciting. And getting all your stuff may seem final and depressing now but it's just stuff and having your records back and being able to listen to them could very possibly make you happy so do what you can to make yourself happy because you deserve some happiness mssskat184 and cambionic 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 It took me a full year before I felt happy. I went through a pretty bad depression and alienated myself from my friends. Everything you're feeling is normal and overtime it will start to feel normal and you won't feel alone. Adjusting to being single is one of the hardest things to do. I used to think that I would never find anyone as good as my ex and that he was irreplaceable but you just find new people with new interests and things just kind of surprise you. Actually it was after my split and my depression that led me into all of this, "the hobby". That alone has made my life feel so much happier. Getting involved in a new hobby or activities that are out of your normal routine can help distract you and make your life feel more exciting. And getting all your stuff may seem final and depressing now but it's just stuff and having your records back and being able to listen to them could very possibly make you happy so do what you can to make yourself happy because you deserve some happiness It's true. Every girl that I've since interacted with has been unjustly measured against my ex - and none of them compare in the slightest. My friends have tried to get me to think of all the bad things about her, the things that weren't compatible or preferable. As time goes on, I feel that it's easier to strip away the idealization and actually see her as another human being with flaws and faults. But right now, it's still really difficult. I feel like permanently moving out all my stuff will sever the final tie with her, other than shared mutual friends. The whole moveout process will be a cathartic experience. I know I'll find all sorts of metaphorical extensions that will drive me crazy all over again and will likely stir up some old feelings that I've buried in the weeks since the breakup. For instance - and I will warn this is a crude, personal, and indelicate example (but also pretty damn hilarious) - when we were in the relationship, we got one of those "Clone-A-Willy" kits. We crafted a very accurate and lifelike reproduction of me with it and stored it in our special box under the bed. It ocassionally got use, but it was mostly a totem of our sex life. After the breakup, I was picking up a few items from my old place and I went to throw away some junk mail when - lo an behold - my penis sat atop the trash. It was a profoundly symbolic image, as lewd as it was, that greatly represented our current situation. I placed the junk mail over it and closed the trash can lid, never mentoning to her what I saw. Sometimes I wish I could have taken a picture of it, because it is pretty funny to open the trash and find your genitals resting on top. Also, I really look forward to getting all my records, my instruments, and my computer back. It's a massive void in my everyday life. As a side note: it gives me endless amusement imagining your poignant advice actually spoken by Tina. Butts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 That thing with your penis clone in the trash needs to be used in a movie or something. Take your time and heal. There WILL be someone else and you know that, but you're nowhere near ready to even entertain that idea. best of luck with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Dude I sympathize with you and truly feel bad. I've been there. But your dick in the trash is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard. It's also ice fucking cold. God damn. There's a lot of dope women out there though. Give it time. mssskat184 and cambionic 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambionic Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 That thing with your penis clone in the trash needs to be used in a movie or something. Take your time and heal. There WILL be someone else and you know that, but you're nowhere near ready to even entertain that idea. best of luck with this. There are quite a few stories from this relationship that would be perfect for a sitcom or movie. Maybe it would help me deal with it if I wrote up scripts or something. Or maybe it would just dredge up feelings. Dude I sympathize with you and truly feel bad. I've been there. But your dick in the trash is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard. It's also ice fucking cold. God damn. There's a lot of dope women out there though. Give it time. It was bittersweet. There was humor in the poignancy I felt from finding my disembodied penis in the garbage. It's not something that I should have feelings about, but I did. I'm looking forward to the next (final) semester coming up. Maybe it'll open up the dating pool to a different type of girl. I think some of the main contentions I have with the women I've been recently interacting with is that I can't find the same intellectual stimulation that I had with my ex. Smart girls are a turn on, especially girls that are smarter than me. My ex was damn clever, it was one of the things I truly loved about her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 i deleted tinder and OKC. I had 666 matches on tinder after about a year and a half so it seemed like a good reason to remove it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WAXXX Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 i deleted tinder and OKC. I had 666 matches on tinder after about a year and a half so it seemed like a good reason to remove it. at 666 it just starts getting good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 at 666 it just starts getting good. Yeah, sounds like shit was about to get dope as fuck WAXXX and cambionic 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 i was praying match 666 was going to be the one, and I don't wanna wait till the next milestone at 1337 to just be disappointed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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