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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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As far as getting relationship advice from strangers on the internet: stupid.

 

Live your own life. You know the situation better than anyone. Why would you ask someone who will never be capable of gauging the situation fairly because they know hardly anything about it? You type a paragraph and you think that is going to help? No. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Go out and live your life and stop relying on people who think they know everything about relationships to fix it.

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I think if we just asked for clarification on statements we perceive to be questionable BEFORE we assume the worst and react accordingly we'd all be a little better off. Myself included.

That assumes everyone is willing to entertain opposing points of view, which may be a touch optimistic, but my beer is half-full.

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As far as getting relationship advice from strangers on the internet: stupid.

Live your own life. You know the situation better than anyone. Why would you ask someone who will never be capable of gauging the situation fairly because they know hardly anything about it? You type a paragraph and you think that is going to help? No. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Go out and live your life and stop relying on people who think they know everything about relationships to fix it.

A lot of people in this thread make the same mistakes over and over and don't learn. Sometimes explaining the situation and getting an outside perspective makes a world of difference. I can think of 2 dudes who have been posting in this thread and the original man advice for YEARS who are still in the exact same spot they were when it started. They're doing the same shit and getting the same results. Will the advice from an Internet stranger change everything for them? No, but it might help just a bit.

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A lot of people in this thread make the same mistakes over and over and don't learn. Sometimes explaining the situation and getting an outside perspective makes a world of difference. I can think of 2 dudes who have been posting in this thread and the original man advice for YEARS who are still in the exact same spot they were when it started. They're doing the same shit and getting the same results. Will the advice from an Internet stranger change everything for them? No, but it might help just a bit.

 

Isn't that even a better reason to stop giving them advice though? They obviously aren't listening, and aren't really concerned about fucking up their relationships. Maybe one day they will get to the point where they realize how stupid they're acting, and will change, or maybe not. Who knows.

 

I'm not saying your advice is wrong, or that someone's advice has never helped, I just think that it's more complicated than people realize when doling out advice.  People are complex creatures. You have to take into account one person's entire life, all their experiences, thoughts, ideas, values, morals, perceptions, etc., and then all of that for another person, see each of their perspectives, then give advice. There's just too much to know to get a fair reading of the situation.

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It's just an easy, no pressure avenue to vent or ask for a female perspective on things. That perspective is invaluable when a person is actively trying to woo and date a lady. I think it's preposterous that we'd need someone's entire life background to be able to offer some dating advice.

And regarding what I said earlier. I do not think you are inherently a bad person. Like you said, I'm only able to see you for what you chose to present yourself as on this record forum. I don't know anything else other than what I see here. I just think it must be exhausting to nurture such a negative persona on a message board all the time. Life is to short for that shit. Then again, what does it matter what some girl online thinks.

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It's still nice to get other peoples' perspective on things, even if it's strangers on a vinyl forum. No one can ever get advice that 100% caters to who they are and what they're going through, but if there are people who've gone through similar shit it can't hurt to get their take on things.

I'm also way better at giving good advice than I am at running my own life.

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As far as getting relationship advice from strangers on the internet: stupid.

 

Live your own life. You know the situation better than anyone. Why would you ask someone who will never be capable of gauging the situation fairly because they know hardly anything about it? You type a paragraph and you think that is going to help? No. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Go out and live your life and stop relying on people who think they know everything about relationships to fix it.

I don't think it's actually about real advice on how to handle your own situation. It's more about the act of sharing and getting responses from people telling you that they've seen the same shit one is currently facing. It's about feeling less alone, even if it's just bunch of strangers on a record forum. I'm not a person who writes about such personal things on internet forums, but I see how others might consider it helpful or comforting.

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It's just an easy, no pressure avenue to vent or ask for a female perspective on things. That perspective is invaluable when a person is actively trying to woo and date a lady. I think it's preposterous that we'd need someone's entire life background to be able to offer some dating advice.

And regarding what I said earlier. I do not think you are inherently a bad person. Like you said, I'm only able to see you for what you chose to present yourself as on this record forum. I don't know anything else other than what I see here. I just think it must be exhausting to nurture such a negative persona on a message board all the time. Life is to short for that shit. Then again, what does it matter what some girl online thinks.

 

I'm just so use to seeing someone throw their situation online, and a mob of internet strangers get their pitchforks and torches, when all those people are getting a super small window of what's really going on. That's what I have a problem with. Venting is cool and all.

 

Case in point, everyone is different.

 

Yeah, I totally get what you're saying. My personality is definitely hard to explain, especially by typing it out. When I'm being negative or whatever, I'm laughing while doing it, cause it's just easier to be a sarcastic 'asshole', and joke about things. I just don't want to spend a lot of my time arguing or even discussing important things in depth to a bunch of people on the internet, ya know? I love talking social issues, religion, sociology, psychology, philosophy, religion, ethics, breaking things down, talking about how things work, the morality of things, on and on, but I don't really bother putting any effort into what I say on a vinyl forum. Does that make sense? I'm sure if we ever hung out for some odd reason and got into a deep discussion about human rights issues or evolution or anything complicated like that, we would have a great talk I'm sure. I don't want you to think I'm over here thinking to myself 'damn, that girl is such a little shit' or something like that. I'm sure my diction makes it come off as me being a royal asshole, but I'm just making fun of the situation,  and I really enjoy my curse words. Haha.

 

When it comes down to it, I take pretty much everything everyone says on here with a grain of salt, including myself.

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It's still nice to get other peoples' perspective on things, even if it's strangers on a vinyl forum. No one can ever get advice that 100% caters to who they are and what they're going through, but if there are people who've gone through similar shit it can't hurt to get their take on things.

I'm also way better at giving good advice than I am at running my own life.

 

A lot of us are that. I know sure as hell am able to give advice better than I can take it. But I won't keep asking for advice and not listening, cause that's just stupid, and a waste of time.

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One thing I learned in here recently was that I'm far too quick to seek the negatives in someone and just assume that things are going to go horribly wrong.

So I took that to heart with my most recent venture, and instead found myself on the polar opposite end of the spectrum, in seeking ALL THE GOOD! That's when I found myself back in my naive tendencies to get completely carried away far too quickly. So once it was time to pump the brakes, and find a more reasonable approach, I was bored to death.

I was so giddy over what seemed like a perfect situation that I missed the part where we didn't have any remotely interesting conversation.

I continued to give her the benefit of the doubt for the sake of overcoming some adversity.. But then I spent one night hanging out with a former fling and we found ourselves having stellar conversation into the early hours of the morning, entirely in place of the sex that we both assumed we'd be having. And in all honesty, the connection we had that night was way better than fucking for the sake of fucking.

What I'm ultimately taking from all of this is that I'm still much better off on my own at this point in my life. I don't have the focus to have (or even try to achieve) a better half. I'm way too focused on me, and it simply needs to stay that way. But once that changes, I again need to practice lessons learned- in that I need to find whatever this middle ground is between "omg she's amazing!!!!" And "yeah, she's great, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut..."

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As far as getting relationship advice from strangers on the internet: stupid.

Live your own life. You know the situation better than anyone. Why would you ask someone who will never be capable of gauging the situation fairly because they know hardly anything about it? You type a paragraph and you think that is going to help? No. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Go out and live your life and stop relying on people who think they know everything about relationships to fix it.

Boom!

That was a truth bomb

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I think the best piece of advice that I can give in this thread, albeit unsolicited, is that when it comes to dating you should really just focus on finding someone that you can level with. Someone you feel comfortable enough where the both of you are open and able you express yourself and you two can have the same appreciation for all life's troubles and joys.

 

Everything else is all about having sex and procreating, if that is part of your trajectory.

 

Anyway, focus more on the former and the latter seems to be less of a priority.

 

And while I'm at it, be more of a relaxed person and accept minor flaws as the trivialities they are, and don't be sexist/racist/classist/abodyshamer. People are pretty fucking neat a majority of the time. If you think the majority are assholes, maybe you need to lay off a bit and realize that most people arent trying to fuck shit up usually. They just do sometimes.

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it's my impression that a bunch of dudes come here to vent. not to actually listen to advice. support perhaps. i see a bunch of people telling the males in this thread to change their attitude and be more accepting. yet, that's exactly what everyone offering 'advice' is not doing. 

 

This.

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There really needs to be a separate thread for relationship advice. We need to get back on topic.

 

Here we go:

 

I just rammed a huge (tiny) splinter into my toe. I really feel like crying. Should I get a knife and cut it out or rather lay in bed and hope that by tomorrow it will be gone?

I'm miserable and freightened.

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