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MAN ADVICE


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Because of this and other situations that Ive acted out in anger and said things I dont mean before thinking, I have decided to try and get professional help. I lashed out on her last week and I knew it hurt her. It was the first time I ever said anything that pissed her off/hurt her. But thats when I actually admitted I have a problem with that shit. Has anyone ever had that happen to them? Not my exact situation but you hurt someone you loved and decided you needed to make a change? Not for just them, but yourself and the other people in your life?

want list aside, this is getting eerie. when i was going through this stuff, i saw red. it put me in the kind of rages i have never experienced outside of that relationship. i would break shit and abuse myself... never ever ever her... but after an episode, and especially after it was finally over, i would just be ashamed of myself for acting that way.

there were times i thought i needed help, but i've considered myself in need of help many times in my life. i've managed to dig myself out of all those holes without it, and that's kind of why i never follow through.

 

i don't know man... this all sounds far too similar. i want to give you the benefit of the doubt, and provide hope that you two work things out, but it's getting real tough.

 

good luck. with everything.

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Mattsteel, I get really really upset when I see people in situations like this, so I’m going to offer my unsolicited advice... again...

what I think you should do: disable/delete/deactivate (whatever you do on twitter) your account. Also your Facebook account and any other social media outlets you follow her on. (or remove her from your friends/followers) what good is it to have her actions constantly thrown in your face? Why do you need to know everything she’s doing or who she’s tweeting at? You don’t. If you can’t see her twitter/facebook/ect, you won’t constantly be at risk of seeing something that will ruin your day.

why I think you should do this: this would help in 2 ways, the main way is that it will help you get over her. The other way... which isn’t the greatest... but seems like it’s the point you’re at, is that it will show her you’re moving on without her. When you do this girls usually have 1 of 2 reactions, either she really won’t care; in that case you’ll know it’s not going to work out. Or she’ll come running back to you, thinking you’ve moved on to another girl and are happy. The last thing an ex-girlfriend wants to see is her ex moving forward with his life and being happy. I hate it, but it’s true.

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The other way... which isn’t the greatest... but seems like it’s the point you’re at, is that it will show her you’re moving on without her. When you do this girls usually have 1 of 2 reactions, either she really won’t care; in that case you’ll know it’s not going to work out. Or she’ll come running back to you, thinking you’ve moved on to another girl and are happy. The last thing an ex-girlfriend wants to see is her ex moving forward with his life and being happy. I hate it, but it’s true.

 

You can showing her you are moving on without her by actually moving on without her. You don't need someone else for that. Unless the outcome your seeking is to upset multiple parties by being a spiteful asshole don't do this. Tsk tsk Madie. 

 

Also dude, your relationship is terrible. Maybe you guys work it our in the future but for now. Sooner you move on the happier you become. 

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Matt just disable her updates in your feed. Deleting a friend on facebook gives you control in a relationship letting you make the first move. The only problem with that is at some point I'm sure you will want to check up on her again. Don't just delete her all together or your account for that matter. Think about it before you do it at least just turn off her update feed that way if you want to see anything from her it's on you to check. And yea it's bullshit how women will have a bad day and post a Taylor Swift song and then say after it "you know who you are". Then when you confront them they say it wasn't about you. All the while you are playing right into their hands. We rely far to much on social media especially for our relationships people always need constant validation through it. It just really sickens me.

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Disable her updates, update about all the rad chest bumps and pizza you are consuming!

 

Plus this is the perfect time to bridge the gap with one night stands bro, all chicks want a dude while they are taken...this short span of being out of a relationship closes once you are single too long!

 

Take everything and everyone to poundtown and go for her close friend or something, maybe a family member to seal the deal!

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Disable her updates, update about all the rad chest bumps and pizza you are consuming!

 

Plus this is the perfect time to bridge the gap with one night stands bro, all chicks want a dude while they are taken...this short span of being out of a relationship closes once you are single too long!

 

Take everything and everyone to poundtown and go for her close friend or something, maybe a family member to seal the deal!

 

I'd only go for her friends/family if you knew she was cheating on you or something. If she just wants to be single and breaks it off it's a lot better than cheating behind his back and not telling him. You don't even have to go to the extent of sleeping with her friends just go out with them and get some pictures together, that will surely make her facebook feed.

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I'd only go for her friends/family if you knew she was cheating on you or something. If she just wants to be single and breaks it off it's a lot better than cheating behind his back and not telling him. You don't even have to go to the extent of sleeping with her friends just go out with them and get some pictures together, that will surely make her facebook feed.

 

Dont listen to Dash, he is a sissy who is salty about VC bros swarming all over his love Madie :P

 

Go for her Dad, that will show her who is the boss!

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Dude thats how I used to be. But I guess I just grew up and moved past that phase. Like I said earlier in here, I used to be that exact same way. I used to tell my friends and little brother as soon as they went on that break for even a night, start hitting up girls to nail since its not cheating. And you dont need to tell the girl because its not cheating. But now Im just not like that. I found someone I actually care about, which is rare because I hate everyone. She was a straight up game changer  

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Dude thats how I used to be. But I guess I just grew up and moved past that phase. Like I said earlier in here, I used to be that exact same way. I used to tell my friends and little brother as soon as they went on that break for even a night, start hitting up girls to nail since its not cheating. And you dont need to tell the girl because its not cheating. But now Im just not like that. I found someone I actually care about, which is rare because I hate everyone. She was a straight up game changer  

 

 

There is always one girl that can change you for the better. For me when I got my heart broken a couple of years ago it changed my perspective. I can't just go out and hook up with a girl no matter how hot she is. I need to know her for a little bit to make sure. Going out with friends does help or you can get into World Of Warcraft and forget about the outside world.

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looks like it has been said but you need to cut her out of your social media. i was always waaaayyyyy too tempted to look at what my ex wife was doing and it always just ended up making ME feel like shit

 

my ex-wife and I still share friends, so I still hear about what she's up to from time to time, and when I had Facebook it would always recommend we be friends.  That shit killed me. 

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so i slept with a friend last night for the third time. i think this may have been a big mistake.

we've had a good thing going with the clique we've been running with lately, and this very well could have complicated things.

after the last time this happened, her friend gave me a kind warning to be careful with her, which i interpreted as her saying not to abuse the situation, and that she probably has some sort of feelings for me. so up until last night, i was careful, and never let things get carried away. and i also never mentioned any other girls in the picture, just in case.

so after the bar last night, we all went back to an apartment, drank, smoked, listened to drake. and as the night/morning went on, she was definitely making advances. eventually that put us in the same bed.

and it wasn't just us... because our friends that were with us did the same in the next room. so again, fucking with the group dynamic.

but the worst part was waking up, both naked, and me just fully torqued already... so i made a bid for morning sex, and got rejected. without saying a word, she wrapped up in a blanket, left the room, and then kind of disappeared in the apartment. i was just left to kind of get dressed and mosey on home.

 

and while i was typing this, she texted me asking if i was alive. which makes me question that little episode back there.

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so i slept with a friend last night for the third time. i think this may have been a big mistake.

we've had a good thing going with the clique we've been running with lately, and this very well could have complicated things.

after the last time this happened, her friend gave me a kind warning to be careful with her, which i interpreted as her saying not to abuse the situation, and that she probably has some sort of feelings for me. so up until last night, i was careful, and never let things get carried away. and i also never mentioned any other girls in the picture, just in case.

so after the bar last night, we all went back to an apartment, drank, smoked, listened to drake. and as the night/morning went on, she was definitely making advances. eventually that put us in the same bed.

and it wasn't just us... because our friends that were with us did the same in the next room. so again, fucking with the group dynamic.

but the worst part was waking up, both naked, and me just fully torqued already... so i made a bid for morning sex, and got rejected. without saying a word, she wrapped up in a blanket, left the room, and then kind of disappeared in the apartment. i was just left to kind of get dressed and mosey on home.

 

and while i was typing this, she texted me asking if i was alive. which makes me question that little episode back there.

Man, you know how to paint a picture..that entire scenario sounded like a postal service song. I don't think things are as dire as they would seem. Besides the denied bid for morning sex, theres not a whole lot of "fat" for this situation to bite onto..in other words, don't make more of it then what it already is. Just be your usual suave self about it.

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thats funny, because i've had ben gibbard stuck in my head all morning saying "you reject my advances and desperate pleas. i wont let you let me down so easily". that makes me sound way more emo about the whole situation.

i dont think theres anything to worry about. she just texted me saying that im missing out on pizza wings and a blunt.

but the thought of her as more than a friend isnt new to me. its just tough because she lives outside of boston.. about an hour and a half away. the last thing i want to get involved in is more distance shit.

 

and as for that other girl i was seeing, im not sure whats happening there. since she puked in my car that night, i saw her briefly on christmas, and nothing since. i dont think she believed me when i said that i really didnt care that she got sick.

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Girl have a thing about mornings... She probably just wanted to look fresh or whatever. Especially if she's not totally comfortable around you.

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