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how am i supposed to break up with my girlfriend for the second time (broke up with her in march, got back together in july) when shes never done anything wrong to me and always treated me extremely nice and always been there for me, because i feel absolutely nothing in the relationship anymore, but i feel like a total ass hole for possibly breaking up with her again.  you know?  She's an awesome person but i just feel like there is more out there.  we started dating in feb 2012, so its almost been 2 years.  she is also the only girlfriend i've ever had so it sucks because i don't know if i'm just incapable of feeling anything or if theres someone out there who i will feel so much more from, if you know what i mean.  when we first started dating i would always be excited to hangout and see her, and now not at all.  is this normal?  i don't get excited to see her, i don't look forward to hanging out, we're both in separate universities so i never see her, and it doesn't bug me that i don't see her, while she is clearly really, really missing me.  after we broke up for the first time i started getting lonely, because i'm a shy person and didn't want to go through the effort of meeting new girls, so we got back together.  my worst fear is breaking up with her again, going a few months alone, and getting really depressed about shit, and wanting to get back together again.

 

sorry, this probably makes little sense, but i don't really have anyone else i can say this to.

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say it to her. explain it to her pretty much exactly as you just did.

you're not fulfilled the way someone needs to be in a serious relationship.

Easier said than done though man! It's easy to be cold and calculating when you're typing shit out to internet strangers on an internet message board. When you're face to face with someone you care about (even if you don't have intense intimate feelings towards) and she's got tears welled up and feelings are going to be hurt it's a different story. Whatever you say, I would just really emphasize that it's nothing she did and that it's all on you, that you aren't fulfilled as Ry said and that you need some time to figure things out.

Wish you the best of luck dude.

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Easier said than done though man! It's easy to be cold and calculating when you're typing shit out to internet strangers on an internet message board. When you're face to face with someone you care about (even if you don't have intense intimate feelings towards) and she's got tears welled up and feelings are going to be hurt it's a different story. Whatever you say, I would just really emphasize that it's nothing she did and that it's all on you, that you aren't fulfilled as Ry said and that you need some time to figure things out.

Wish you the best of luck dude.

Thanks man. You hit the nail on the head. It's hard to hurt someone who has never wronged you and always put you first just because i can't feel anything. Especially when she starts crying and you just want to hug her and tell her it's going to be okay.
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Easier said than done though man! It's easy to be cold and calculating when you're typing shit out to internet strangers on an internet message board. When you're face to face with someone you care about (even if you don't have intense intimate feelings towards) and she's got tears welled up and feelings are going to be hurt it's a different story. Whatever you say, I would just really emphasize that it's nothing she did and that it's all on you, that you aren't fulfilled as Ry said and that you need some time to figure things out.

Wish you the best of luck dude.

I'll also add to this.

It's better done sooner rather than later. The more time, effort and feelings she has invested in the relationship. The harder it will be for you to break it off, and the more you'll feel like an absolute asshole.

I'd suggest you start it off by saying you feel bad because she is putting more in than you are able to

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There is no reason to feel like an ass for breaking up with her.  Just because she hasn't done anything wrong is no reason to keep a relationship alive.  Not being happy with the relationship is reason enough and in the long run, you're probably doing both of you a favor.  It's best to break things off now before not being excited to see her turns into dreading seeing her.  Most likely, things will only get worse the longer you two stay together.  I suggest you sit down with her and be honest and try to explain things the best you can.  Be compassionate if she starts crying, but stick to your guns.  The next few weeks or months might be a little tough, but it'll be for the best.  Find shit to keep you busy and you'll get through it.

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She will cry. She will wonder what she did wrong, regardless if you told her she did absolutely nothing wrong. She'll probably listen to a bunch of sad songs. She'll cry some more, and then she will move on. The difference between your unhappiness(es?) is that if you stayed there was no moving on for you, just more unhappiness. But now you both have a chance to move on. You did the best thing.

 

If you feel like going back to her in the future, just remind yourself that twice you tried, and twice it didn't work out.

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She will cry. She will wonder what she did wrong, regardless if you told her she did absolutely nothing wrong. She'll probably listen to a bunch of sad songs. She'll cry some more, and then she will move on. The difference between your unhappiness(es?) is that if you stayed there was no moving on for you, just more unhappiness. But now you both have a chance to move on. You did the best thing.

 

If you feel like going back to her in the future, just remind yourself that twice you tried, and twice it didn't work out.

 

this is what’s up.

i think once you come to the realization that something is over, you can never forget that. You might get lonely and want to go back to her, and you might get jealous when she starts seeing someone new. I guess you have to remember why you did it in the first place.

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YO.  it's way harder than to be alone than codependent for the sake of not being lonely.

 

that being said, when you challenge yourself to do something that is difficult, the outcomes are far greater.  remember that this was better for both of you.  it takes a man to be honest with his feelings, and a real man to be convicted enough to stick to a decision he makes.  on to bigger and better things, champ.  grow a fuckin' beard, pick up a new hobby, buy your family cool holiday gifts with the cash you would have spent on the chick.  the world is your goddamn oyster.

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