MAN ADVICE

[icecream]

oh man, do i feel your pain. my 5 year relationship ended in text.. twice.

each one of them pretty much being the whole "i finally have friends, so i need to be able to be free and be with them"... instead of just being a normal fucking person who has friends and a relationship simultaneously.

Coincidentally thats how all my friends are now like it's some impossible feat they can't overcome.

My best friend just got married and I genuinely want them to be happy but I find it ironic that he hasn't broke any of his bad habits since his previous relationship.

[yocaseycasey]

so i was at the bar with 2 friends tonight, as 3 good looking girls walked in, and took a place across the bar from us. we decided to send them over drinks, but didnt want to be the typical dudes who send over a round to the pretty girls. so we sent them over 3 shots... 2 of them being water.

we figured this would be good enough to get them laughing and come talk to us.

no, not at all. they got offended and yelled at us. didnt even take the actual shot.

I just read through page 25. This reminded me of 2 things:

1) My old pick up line back before the ball-and-chain used to be "Hey, what are you drinking?" The girl would tell me something foofy like a margarita or "sex on the beach" and I'd look at the bartender and say "Hey, Mark, can I get a PBR?" The girl would always scoff and be like "I'm not drinking that!" To which I'd reply, "What are you talking about? I didn't order you a drink. My name's Casey." Worked every time.

2) One time on a date, I could tell that there was a couple on their first date in the bar off to the corner. It was hilarious how nervous they looked. The guy was trying to look interested. The girl was trying to be interesting. So I had our server send the chick over a shot of Jack and told our server not to tell them who it's from. So the guy is sitting there, and the girl just gets this drink. She looks around all confused, and he laughs nervously, and she drinks it. I do it again ten minutes later. Same thing. I do it again 20 minutes after that. At this point, they both have the "WHAT THE FUCK!?" look on their faces. When they get up to leave, the guy looks at me, and I just give him a smile and do the finger through hole motion with my hands and point at the chick and give him a thumbs up. He smiled and waved. Mission accomplished.

I'll read the rest of this thread tomorrow morning. Damn. I had no idea this thing was still going on.

[ronniegwilliams]

I just read through page 25. This reminded me of 2 things:

1) My old pick up line back before the ball-and-chain used to be "Hey, what are you drinking?" The girl would tell me something foofy like a margarita or "sex on the beach" and I'd look at the bartender and say "Hey, Mark, can I get a PBR?" The girl would always scoff and be like "I'm not drinking that!" To which I'd reply, "What are you talking about? I didn't order you a drink. My name's Casey." Worked every time.

2) One time on a date, I could tell that there was a couple on their first date in the bar off to the corner. It was hilarious how nervous they looked. The guy was trying to look interested. The girl was trying to be interesting. So I had our server send the chick over a shot of Jack and told our server not to tell them who it's from. So the guy is sitting there, and the girl just gets this drink. She looks around all confused, and he laughs nervously, and she drinks it. I do it again ten minutes later. Same thing. I do it again 20 minutes after that. At this point, they both have the "WHAT THE FUCK!?" look on their faces. When they get up to leave, the guy looks at me, and I just give him a smile and do the finger through hole motion with my hands and point at the chick and give him a thumbs up. He smiled and waved. Mission accomplished.

I'll read the rest of this thread tomorrow morning. Damn. I had no idea this thing was still going on.

Greatest wingman ever, especially since you didn't even know them.

I'm trying to remember some of my pick up lines; typically I'll just be at the bar when a pretty girl orders a drink and I'll tell the bartender it's on me, from there I'd just tell the gal to enjoy her night, that way if she wanted to talk to me she would have to pursue.

A couple times I'd try the whole 'being a nerd is in now thing' where'd I'd walk up and say 'you're pretty, so how do you feel about cat loving mamas boys', which would get them to laugh and worked every time.

I'm a man whore with confidence.

[KennyFuckingPowers]

Be honest now, how many of you go ass to mouth?

Did it a couple times. I accidentily licked the bhole when I was going down on my ex, she really liked it so I kept doing it. She was a super clean girl so I didnt mind. I think you arent truly a man if you havent played with the bhole.

[KennyFuckingPowers]

I would rather have my relationship end in a text then my girlfriend of 4 years sleeping over one night then not talking to me ever again after that. Still to this day I have no idea what happened.

[zacaroo21]

I would rather have my relationship end in a text then my girlfriend of 4 years sleeping over one night then not talking to me ever again after that. Still to this day I have no idea what happened.

Maybe she really wasn't in to the bhole stuff...

[ronniegwilliams]

Every girl is into the bhole stuff, if they say they aren't they just haven't been comfortable enough to try it yet

[noodle]

this is GREAT 8am work dialogue.

[Guest]

Casey, I'm totally using the what are you having line. That's perfect.

[Dashhax]

Casey, I'm totally using the what are you having line. That's perfect.

His first pickup line is astonishing I will most certainly try it out.

[yocaseycasey]

PM me when you have and let me know how it goes!

[Guest]

texted her this morning... got a response several hours later. "hey, sorry for the delay.. hectic day". obvious benefit of the doubt given here after she instagrammed a picture of the giant dent in her new car.

after a little back and forth, i asked if a dinner date this week with a charming gentleman would help. hour or so later.. "blah sorry, im in boston"

this was just her apologizing for not responding... without actually giving an answer. then she said she's closing at work all week.

just texted her back a while later saying the offer still stands when she wants to take me up on it. and dont go forgetting about me.

[Dashhax]

texted her this morning... got a response several hours later. "hey, sorry for the delay.. hectic day". obvious benefit of the doubt given here after she instagrammed a picture of the giant dent in her new car.

after a little back and forth, i asked if a dinner date this week with a charming gentleman would help. hour or so later.. "blah sorry, im in boston"

this was just her apologizing for not responding... without actually giving an answer. then she said she's closing at work all week.

just texted her back a while later saying the offer still stands when she wants to take me up on it. and dont go forgetting about me.

Do you want to make this girl your girlfriend or are you just looking to have a good time with her? Maybe she isn't taking things as serious as you are.

[yocaseycasey]

Only made it through page 29 so far. So much to relate to.

A) In relation to the crusherdestroyer "Let's take it slow," comment: I had a girl wreck my world doing that shit. She was an old girlfriend, but she started talking to me out of the blue a few years later. She was cute and we started hanging out again regularly, even though she had a long-term boyfriend. The thing is, her boyfriend had moved to Wisconsin while she was still living at home in Indy. When she was getting ready to graduate (this was the Spring we started hanging out), she mentioned something about moving up there with him and he said "What? I don't want you to move up here..." That, at least to me, said "Yo, I have a girl in Wisconsin and a girl in Indy... so if you were to move here, what the hell do I do with her?!?" So me and her got really close again over the few months we hung out. I was basically a boyfriend without the benefits. We hung out one-on-one. We were interested in each other. I tried to kiss her one night. She rejected me. She texted me all the time. It was fucking retarded. Messed with me for years. However, three years after the fact, I ran into my main squeeze: Emily. She's basically the bomb. And she married me. And she's hot... so BOOM. Point of all this crap is: Girls are fucking dumb unless they marry you, and then, according to statistics, over 50% of the time, girls are STILL dumb. But still, the main point of all this is... I got married.

I had a Plenty of Fish profile before I met Emily and it blows my MIND what those ladies on there are like. I gave my number to four ladies on there over the course of the 6 months I randomly checked it. Here's how all 4 girls went:

Girl 1 - Had pictures from when she was in college. She was WAY hot. However, she wasn't in college, and she wasn't hot anymore. She was like 200+ lbs. I'm not shallow by any means, but when you're wearing a size 4 or 6 in your photos and then you say "Oh, yeah, I might have lied and wear a size 16 now...", please don't get pissed when I'm like "Say what?" Also, she texted me like 8 times during my econ class, after I told her to quit because I was in econ class. Girl had to GO.

Girl 2 - Worked as a waitress in a small town. All of her pictures were the classic "Myspace" picture. Invited me to her mom's BBQ as a first date. Never contacted again. Added Emily on facebook and asked if she told me to not talk to her anymore... THREE YEARS SINCE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HER!!!!

Girl 3 - Straight freak. Made a game one night with my buddies where they told me to text her the dirtiest shit. I complied because, well, we were drinking and it sounded like a fun idea. The girl ate it up. Changed my number.

Girl 4 - The one and only POF girl I ever went on a date with. Actually went on three. First date was coffee. Second date was the zoo. She was fun, so the third date I invited her to my town and we went out for drinks. She got drunk off two beers. I kicked her out early the morning after. She got crazy when I didn't text her after three days.

Moral of the story is: Girls on dating sites are FUCKING CRAZY!

Meet a girl in person. Fall in love like they did in the 80s. Get married. That's the only way.

[Guest]

Do you want to make this girl your girlfriend or are you just looking to have a good time with her? Maybe she isn't taking things as serious as you are.

shes the kind of girl i wouldnt mind wifing up. and when i first talked to my friend/her cousin about the whole thing, i was put under the impression that she was looking for something serious.

im just not the kind of dude who does well with the whole stay single and mess around with multiple girls. just give me one that i can be comfortable with, have fun with, and bang on the reg.

after getting out of 6 months of having a girlfriend, but not really, i guess thats just what im looking for. but obviously, im not trying to push things too quickly, and maybe shes just on the same page.

[Guest]

the only reason im so perplexed by all of it is because how good things were going before she seemed to kind of turn off- something ive experienced too many times.

[kevin848]

the only reason im so perplexed by all of it is because how good things were going before she seemed to kind of turn off- something ive experienced too many times.

It's shitty, and chances are you won't find out. If this happens to me, I just let it go. Every single time I want to pry to find out exactly why, and not even the patch things with said person, more to see if it was something I did wrong. Maybe it's something that can be worked on for the next time around.

[kevin848]

And I generally get a feel for what the girl is looking for before I even start to do anything. If I don't have a girl I am genuinely interested in and there is one that wants to just mess around, I'll do it, but at this point in my life I am ready for something serious.

I'm sure that's what Ry is doing.

[sjb2k1]

girlfriend wants to talk about stuff tonight. i know it's a good thing but fuuuuu

[Guest]

her response to me saying the offer stands/dont forget about me was "i definitely appreciate that, and i never forget!"

so she's either just busy like she says, or just letting it fizzle.

either way, im done worrying about it. if things pick up again in a week or two, awesome. otherwise, whatever.

[yocaseycasey]

my ex of 5 years shared a similar taste for music back when we met. and then as my tastes evolved over the years, she just kind of hung out in my wake, falling in love with everything i introduced her to. after we broke up, she said one of the worst parts was not having me guide her ears.

I've made it through page 31. This thread has too much squirting.

My high school sweetheart broke up with me after her second year of college. I was a huge dick back then, so looking back on it, it makes sense. She left me for another dude. He was better looking, but a total bro. It was basically convenience instead of comfort. However, we were in a band together, so this made things awkward.

She didn't have a car, so sometimes I would have to drive an hour and a half to her college town to pick her up. She'd always ask "So, what have you been listening to? Anything new?"

At first, I'd have plans to blow her mind... All KINDS of new bands on a mix CD for the hour and a half ride in the car. Then it got to the point where I realized, "Wait a second, this is the one thing she misses from me... and she's still getting it..." So I only listened to the radio on the last few drives. The band inevitably broke up. She played the hammered dulcimer. It was a cool band.

[yocaseycasey]

just met this guy. he said whats up, I asked him what he was doing. then.... total overshare.

Haven't made it to the next page, so I have no clue what comes after this, but if no one has asked what that dude's number is... we all need to send him random texts. Think about it... from all over the nation, all different area codes, getting texts like "I was doing the dishes and accidentally dropped a glass 8(" "My friend Peter won $4 on a lotto ticket today LOLOLOL!!!" "Mom, PLEEEEEEEASE PLEASE PLEASE can we go to Six Flags this weekend PLEAEAEAELSESESE!?!?!"

[yocaseycasey]

this girl im talking to now is presenting a strange trend.

should things work out, it would be three consecutive 22 year olds with one older sister and a name that could pass for a guys.

Casey? (I know, page 38 is basically me jumping into conversations from weeks ago, but I started, so I might as well finish, right?)

[konk]

Casey, what was wrong with girl 4?

[yocaseycasey]

Casey, what was wrong with girl 4?

Girl 4 - The one and only POF girl I ever went on a date with. Actually went on three. First date was coffee. Second date was the zoo. She was fun, so the third date I invited her to my town and we went out for drinks. She got drunk off two beers. I kicked her out early the morning after. She got crazy when I didn't text her after three days.