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I don't know how this is going to help me. Should I be turned into a pizza or something? Or date pizza?

 

i don't know if i could date a pizza. i would probably be an asshole cheater.

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Oh you're so hot...I can't wait to get your spicy meat in my mouth...

Edit: I think that's how you flirt with a pizza...?

 

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I know how to get sexy with one.

 

Oh yeah, you want me to "dip" my "crust" in some "garlic butter," don't you? You bad girl.

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Depends where you are. Chances are if you are in the trendy parts of Northern Brooklyn, they not from Brooklyn. Chances are if you are in Southern Brooklyn (Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst, Gravesend) their dads yell at them for not getting a city job, or loves them for getting one. If you're in Coney Island/Brighton Beach, chances are the kids on drugs.

 

EDIT: These are vast stereotypical overgeneralizations that have some truth to them

 

 

Oh it is

 

YES TO ALL THREE. Kill them all with fire.

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@ctb: They might be imaginary...like the square root of negative one. So basically, the lines will still be the same length since imaginary numbers are treated like real ones.

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you mean i'm going to brooklyn in several months and people aren't going to be real? does that mean the lines for everything will be shorter? 

 

You could walk through them on your way to some Sushi or Thai place.

 

They always do that at DBA. I remember them being awesome and the band opening was pretty good too.

 

One of the crustiest places to watch a show. I need a good shower when I leave there.

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My contribution to the actual Confession portion of this thread -

 

 

I know I will come across as irrational and bitter, and I know I am about this.  It doesn't change my feelings.

 

Looking back on my childhood I've come to look at myself as being as much an employee as a child.  My mom ran an in home day care and was always watching way to many kids.  In fact the reason she stopped is she got reported and was forced to shut down.  Back on topic though, due to he having so many kids to watch from a very young age I had to start helping her out. 

 

Summers always sucked because from the moment I woke up I would be walking some of the older kids to the library or walking them to swimming lessons or the park.  I never was able to hang out with people my own age because I always had to be watching the babysitting kids.  From the moment I woke up to the time the last kid left I was expected to be helping out.  Then because my mom was so exhausted we would always go out to eat for fast food and would get home at like 8 after running errands.  I seriously was never allowed to have friends outside of school due to my responsibilites.  In fact the first time I slept over at someone house was the first time I remember getting yelled at.  I was in 3rd grade or so and walking home someone asked if I wanted to sleep over.  I checked with my brother who was watching me and he said yes so I did.  After my parents got back from the weekend at the cottage my mom was pissed.

 

All the way through high school I had to help out.  Even when I had a job I had to spend most of my summers helping out with babysitting.  On top of that when I turned 13 or so my mom started just volunteering me to spend almost every Saturday night going and babysitting.  To make matters worse I had to charge less than what my mom did, because I wasn't as "qualified" as her so I typically made $1 an hour.  As a 13 year old it was ok, as a 16 year old who was already working 30 hours a week it was not.

 

Thats why I've got the bitterness and disconnect with my mom.  There are other things but that is the bulk of it.

 

My dad just worked to much and was to old.  I always resented the fact that he never was able / willing to do anything I wanted.  I never threw a ball around with him, we never did any of the standard father son things.  Except for fishing and hunting.  For a while I did it because it was time with him, but as I got older and realized I hated it I finally just said enough and stopped. 

 

 

Along with that I'm still bitter about them never trying to push me a little in school.  I was always a B student but was the kind of guy who just would tear through the work while in class and just turn that in.  I most likely spent less than 10 hours total studying or doing schoolwork outside of school.  To go along with that my parents actively told me I'd never be able to afford to go to college and if I worked for a few years and saved up money I may be able to go to a Technical College.  They also pushed me to get a full time job straight out of high school and buy a new car right away too which made things more difficult for me.  I was a reasonably smart kid who should have went to college.  I know I've had the ability to try and work college into my adult life and the fact I haven't is on me.  As I said at the start of this, I know I'm being at least partially irrational.

 

Now as an adult I honestly just lack the desire to go out of my way to add them into my life. 

 

 

End of childish rant about how my mommy and daddy were mean to me.

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So its settled then. Date a pizza, you can't lose.

 

CONFESSION: I worked as a pizza delivery dude. I hope I didn't reveal too much. :mellow:

 

But how many pizzas am I going to have to date? Can't stay with one once it gets all moldy.

 

CONFESSION: This dude I used to date told me that when we first started talking and that's why I decided to date him. I just wanted him to deliver me pizzas naked.

 

Edit: I feel really creepy for confessing that now.

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I don't think I've cried in years, all you guys need to go through a divorce or something. Meet a woman who is absolutely the worst being on earth. Then, all tears and emotion will be ripped from your soul. Saves money on tissues at least. 

 

maybe thats part of my problem. I've only been in love once.

she broke up with me suddenly, simply because she realized she didn't wanna be with a girl anymore and needed to start looking for a husband. I worked with this girl to boot. saw her everyday, killed my soul, etc.

then she had a brief affair with one of our managers. killed my soul etc.

then she had a one night stand with a regular customer. killed my soul etc.

got pregnant from said one night stand. i was the chump that bought her the pregnancy test btw. killed my soul etc.

her friends invited me to the baby shower. she called me and told me i wasn't allowed to come. killed my soul etc.

watched her date assholes who hurt her for the next 2 years. i was still the chump who held her while she cried over them and told her she was beautiful & amazing and those guys were idiots. killed my soul etc.

finally, she dated another girl..... that i think may have been the last time i cried.... which was over a year ago. and boy did i cry HARD and OFTEN. in my head, we couldn't be together because i am a girl. it didn't occur to me until this happened that I just may not have been right for her. that's a hard pill to swallow... essentially that you aren't good enough for somebody you love. so i stopped talking to her for about 3 months. we both had different jobs at this point so it was easy.

then one day i woke up and said "hey.... i don't give a fuck anymore. and i need to stop being so bitter about this. i'm gonna go talk to her."

so we've been NORMAL friends since. I don't secretly long for her, we talk about dudes and i talk about chicks. she's my buddy. and motherhood has chilled her out hard. and finally, 3 years after that relationship ended, i'm totally open to falling in love with somebody else.

 

whoosh. that belonged in man advice. but thats really the last time i remember crying. maybe years of crying a lot about the same person toughened me up. ain't no bitch gettin these tears now.

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