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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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You know what's really fun, man advice thread?

When the first boy that you've liked in a really long time calls you to ask for advice on his ex he still has feelings for.

That he hooked up with last night.

THEN having to remain unbiased in the entire conversation and try to help him sort through his feelings.

\m/

Ugh I've been there. I'm sorry!

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I love talking about my sexuality, I'm a total weirdo. I think I've had a good chunk of discussions with people on the board about it because I'm super open. 

 

 

I identify as asexual. It means that I don't experience sexual attraction and that's why the #NSFL (not safe for Logan) jokes exist. Talks about sex make me uncomfortable, I'm a lot better with it than I used to be but it's still not something I can really...talk...about with people without feeling uneasy. 

 

However! I do identify as a romantic asexual (asexuality is this huuuuge umbrella and the cool thing is that it's going to FINALLY be taught in sex education classes so that kids like me don't go through life thinking they're broken!) As a romantic asexual, I still desire to be in a fully functional romantic relationship. Whereas there are aromantic asexuals who don't want anything to do with romantic relationships! 

 

The real struggle with asexuality is that it's not black and white. As I get older and experience more relationships with people, it has the opportunity to change and grow with me. There is a REALLY good chance that I'll end up identifying as a demisexual which is someone who only experiences sexual attraction when they are "in love" with someone. There's also a chance that it won't happen. 

 

I used to hate touching all together and I'm starting to learn that it's okay when I really, really trust people. I'm okay with high fives/hugs in general, but if I don't know you well...you can't put an arm on my shoulder or touch my hand. Things like that. I will completely freak out. 

 

 

Basically, sex is a pretty big thing in most relationships. If I'm ever in a committed relationship with someone who isn't asexual (which is probably going to happen because only 1% of the human population identifies this way), it's probably going to be one of our biggest challenges. 

 

That's very cool you know who you are. There has to be someone out there for you who identifies as you do. You're the first asexual I've met (knowingly anyway). :)

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That's very cool you know who you are. There has to be someone out there for you who identifies as you do. You're the first asexual I've met (knowingly anyway). :)

 

Who knows! It's all an adventure, I mean...I don't really want someone who identifies exactly the same because then I can't grow as a person. If that makes sense? Idk, I think every aspect of life should have some sort of challenge to it, especially significant others. If you're going to agree with me on everything and make it easy, what's the point? 

 

You've probably met a few! I mean, you don't meet people an announce your sexuality. You aren't like "Hey! Nice to meet you, I'm straight." 

Also, since asexuality isn't very well known about, a lot of people don't know how to identify. 

 

 

It's so funny because for someone who doesn't like to talk about sex in general, I sure love to talk about sexuality. It's just so interesting to me. 

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Who knows! It's all an adventure, I mean...I don't really want someone who identifies exactly the same because then I can't grow as a person. If that makes sense? Idk, I think every aspect of life should have some sort of challenge to it, especially significant others. If you're going to agree with me on everything and make it easy, what's the point? 

 

You've probably met a few! I mean, you don't meet people an announce your sexuality. You aren't like "Hey! Nice to meet you, I'm straight." 

Also, since asexuality isn't very well known about, a lot of people don't know how to identify. 

 

 

It's so funny because for someone who doesn't like to talk about sex in general, I sure love to talk about sexuality. It's just so interesting to me. 

 

Actually I always announce I'm straight when I first meet someone....

jk

 

So, you've never been sexually attracted to anyone, like ever? I have other questions but I have no intention of making you potentially uncomfortable. This is all just very interesting to me.

 

Also, you have way too much wisdom for a 21 yr old.

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Actually I always announce I'm straight when I first meet someone....

jk

 

So, you've never been sexually attracted to anyone, like ever? I have other questions but I have no intention of making you potentially uncomfortable. This is all just very interesting to me.

 

Also, you have way too much wisdom for a 21 yr old.

 

I'm pretty open about it, so you more than likely won't make me uncomfortable! 

 

I have not been sexually attracted to anyone, like ever. It's funny because like...even my ultimate fangirl crushes I'm just like "yeah, I would hug Brendon Urie so much." 

 

 

and thank you! I actually hear that a lot, I've just had a lot of life experience in these 21 years. Almost all of my friends come to me for relationship advice and then we laugh about it because I have 0 relationship experience. But apparently my words of wisdom always help!

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So I have no idea what to think of that "date" last night.  We have been on probably 20+ dates before, with all but 3 of them being last winter, the other 3 being this summer, but we're not as close as we used to be.  Anyways, we get to the place, order a beer, everything is going fine, its not awkward at all, because like I said, we know each other well, and it's not the first time we've gone out.  And then her friend calls her who had just got out from her night class and asks what she's doing.  She ends up joining us because we were right by the university campus. So now it's me and two girls.  I should mention that I'm good friends with the girl that joined us, but I was still annoyed.  

 

After we finished our beers, we walked downtown (all 3 of us), smoked a joint, wandered around outside the government building, had a lot of fun just exploring and doing dumb shit.  But still...it didn't end up being a date because there were 3 of us, so I'm kinda bummed out about that.  Oh well.

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I hear ya... in the past when "dating" a girl or whatever I'd be all excited like "Yesssssss, gonna hang with just her" & then a friend would call or whatever & she'd be like "Sure, come out, we're just hanging". But then of course theres the times where friends would call & we'd say no to them cuz something was going to "happen". Guy friends to get the hint more than chick friends. Thankfully more often then not it was the latter ;)

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I hear ya... in the past when "dating" a girl or whatever I'd be all excited like "Yesssssss, gonna hang with just her" & then a friend would call or whatever & she'd be like "Sure, come out, we're just hanging". But then of course theres the times where friends would call & we'd say no to them cuz something was going to "happen". Guy friends to get the hint more than chick friends. Thankfully more often then not it was the latter ;)

I wasn't expecting anything to "happen" in that sense.  We're definitely not back to that point yet, and I'm not sure if we'll ever be.  I was just looking forward to spending an evening alone with her.  

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I hear ya... in the past when "dating" a girl or whatever I'd be all excited like "Yesssssss, gonna hang with just her" & then a friend would call or whatever & she'd be like "Sure, come out, we're just hanging". But then of course theres the times where friends would call & we'd say no to them cuz something was going to "happen". Guy friends to get the hint more than chick friends. Thankfully more often then not it was the latter ;)

Invite her female friends over and try and wrangle yourself a ménage à trois.  ;) 

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