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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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Well. I was reminded why I have been single for 2 years. Guys really know how to play the game. I've been dating this guy and we finally had the talk.... He never had intentions of dating me seriously. He was just having fun I guess? Cool. The most annoying part is he was the one pursuing me. Why do guys do this?

 

I kind of went through a similar thing, it sucks.  I agree though, fuck that guy.

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The worst thing ever is when a girl is really into you and texts you frequently just talking about life and is genuinely interested and cares about you and asks you to hangout frequently and goes for the first kiss and invites you to stay the night with her while she's house sitting so you spend the night together and you kiss her goodbye after every time you hangout and you spend New Years Eve with her and kiss under the fireworks in the Rocky Mountains at midnight and you're really into her too but since everything goes so smoothly you completely take it for granted and get complacent for some reason and get scared because she's moving away for 6 months in a years time so you get scared and convince yourself you're not that into her and then you curl up in a ball and turn into a ghost for 4 months and don't talk to her because you're inadvertently being a complete asshole but then you realize you miss her and you fucked up big time but by then she's moved on and you hangout a few times still but it's clearly not the same because how could it be and now it's all that's on your mind almost 24/7 because you're fixated on how you fucked it up when it was going so smoothly and you wonder what things would be like if you hadn't stopped talking to her and now it's like she couldn't care less if we ever hung out alone together again and you text her occasionally but she never texts you first or ever asks to hangout or even just to ask what's going on and it used to be completely different and whenever you text her you feel like you're just annoying her because she only replies a few times and now you find out she's moving away for a whole year and it feels like there's a knot in your chest that won't go away whenever you think about it and you wonder if she'll even remember who you are when she comes back or worse yet if she even has one ounce of a feeling left for you and then you realize that she probably doesn't.

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:(

Looking back on it, I just can't believe I was able to take it for granted.  I don't fucking get how my mind works.  I fucking dumped my girlfriend of almost 2 years last November out of the blue because I had a crush on the girl mentioned above.  And what do you know, she actually liked me and made all the first moves, because I'm terrible at that stuff, and we started to get close.  Things are going great and I'm actually happy(!!!!!), but being myself I manage to get complacent and completely fuck it up.  It just sucks when someone clearly cares about you and you spend a lot of time together, and then because of something you caused, things completely change and they don't care about you anymore, and you can't even blame them, but my mind is just fixated on it 24/7 because I know things would be different if I hadn't fucked it up and it's terrible.  Everything fucking reminds me of it.  And the dagger is that she's moving to Japan for a year.  

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I have no answers, just wanna say fuck that guy.

 

 

I second shelby. 

 

 

 

Feel free to message me and vent, you're worth so much more than that!

 

 

I kind of went through a similar thing, it sucks.  I agree though, fuck that guy.

 

 

Honestly, I should have caught on earlier. There were warning signs.... I mean, I thought we were just hanging out as friends at first, and then he said... "No... I want to go on a DATE with you" and I was like.... "OH". So we started dating but he never introduced me to his friends. My schedule makes it really rough and so we would only see each other like once a week... 

 

Ultimately, my job makes it easy for guys like this to make it seem like they are trying when they aren't. Dating me was hardly a time commitment since I was never home. 

 

Anyway. I guess I am just tired of this pattern. Guys always either lose interest in me, keep me around until something better comes along or they put me in the friend zone.  I think maybe I am just better off single? I don't know.

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Looking back on it, I just can't believe I was able to take it for granted.  I don't fucking get how my mind works.  I fucking dumped my girlfriend of almost 2 years last November out of the blue because I had a crush on the girl mentioned above.  And what do you know, she actually liked me and made all the first moves, because I'm terrible at that stuff, and we started to get close.  Things are going great and I'm actually happy(!!!!!), but being myself I manage to get complacent and completely fuck it up.  It just sucks when someone clearly cares about you and you spend a lot of time together, and then because of something you caused, things completely change and they don't care about you anymore, and you can't even blame them, but my mind is just fixated on it 24/7 because I know things would be different if I hadn't fucked it up and it's terrible.  Everything fucking reminds me of it.  And the dagger is that she's moving to Japan for a year.  

 

I am not going to lie, I feel really bad not only for your ex, but for this girl as well. Your ex got dumped for something "better" and then the new girl had to instigate everything only to get rejected. I apologize, but I can't really blame them for the situation you're in. 

 

It sucks. It really does. And I am sorry you have to feel that way. But like it has been said before, all you can do is pick yourself up and learn from what happened.  Don't let fear of the future debilitate you and what is happening in your life. Fear of the future is not a good enough excuse to let something wonderful slip out from under you.  

 

But also, I feel like so many guys live in regret of some lost love from the past where they just let themselves wallow in it for ages and never love themselves enough to heal and move on! Another girl will come along. Just learn to forgive yourself and move on so that you don't miss the opportunity again!

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But also, I feel like so many guys live in regret of some lost love from the past where they just let themselves wallow in it for ages and never love themselves enough to heal and move on! Another girl will come along. Just learn to forgive yourself and move on so that you don't miss the opportunity again!

 

This is so true. Hell, I'm in a wonderful relationship that's about to hit it's 4 year anniversary and I still think about all the shit I fucked up in the past and feel like an asshole/idiot.

 

I will say it was cool of him to break it off with his girlfriend because he had feelings for a new girl. Not like "cool" cool, but it's way better than stringing her along while seeing how things panned out with the new girl or cheating on her. 

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I am not going to lie, I feel really bad not only for your ex, but for this girl as well. Your ex got dumped for something "better" and then the new girl had to instigate everything only to get rejected. I apologize, but I can't really blame them for the situation you're in. 

 

It sucks. It really does. And I am sorry you have to feel that way. But like it has been said before, all you can do is pick yourself up and learn from what happened.  Don't let fear of the future debilitate you and what is happening in your life. Fear of the future is not a good enough excuse to let something wonderful slip out from under you.  

 

But also, I feel like so many guys live in regret of some lost love from the past where they just let themselves wallow in it for ages and never love themselves enough to heal and move on! Another girl will come along. Just learn to forgive yourself and move on so that you don't miss the opportunity again!

To be fair my ex girlfriend sucked and it was inevitable that I was going to break up with her and our relationship was going nowhere so I'm not too worried about that portion.  

 

And yes I know lol, I think I made it clear in my post that the blame was on me.  That's why it's so hard to deal with, because it was 100% my fault.  But I'm going to stop talking about this because I weigh the boards down with this dumb shit when I should just be forgetting about it.  

 

And yeah, the breakup with my ex was nothing malicious.  Also I would never cheat on anyone.  The other reason this bugs me so much is because I've always been the nice guy who doesn't hurt anyone intentionally and then I went and did that inadvertently out of sheer stupidity.  

 

But anyyywayyyysss, on to other peoples problems!  

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This is so true. Hell, I'm in a wonderful relationship that's about to hit it's 4 year anniversary and I still think about all the shit I fucked up in the past and feel like an asshole/idiot.

 

I will say it was cool of him to break it off with his girlfriend because he had feelings for a new girl. Not like "cool" cool, but it's way better than stringing her along while seeing how things panned out with the new girl or cheating on her. 

 

I am happy for you! You will never forget the past, but you CAN move on. I mean, I was one and a half weeks away from getting married a little over 2 years ago when my fiance cheated on me. If I can try out dating again, I think most people can. Jussayin.

 

True. I guess it is something that bothers me since it has happened to me more often than I would like to mention. I feel like it is a huge problem with our generation where we are always on the look out for the next "new" item / job / love interest on the horizon. Commitment sure seems like less of a commitment to my peers.

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To be fair my ex girlfriend sucked and it was inevitable that I was going to break up with her and our relationship was going nowhere so I'm not too worried about that portion.  

 

And yes I know lol, I think I made it clear in my post that the blame was on me.  That's why it's so hard to deal with, because it was 100% my fault.  But I'm going to stop talking about this because I weigh the boards down with this dumb shit when I should just be forgetting about it.  

 

And yeah, the breakup with my ex was nothing malicious.  Also I would never cheat on anyone.  The other reason this bugs me so much is because I've always been the nice guy who doesn't hurt anyone intentionally and then I went and did that inadvertently out of sheer stupidity.  

 

But anyyywayyyysss, on to other peoples problems!  

 

I apologize. I wasn't trying to be critical and I obviously don't know the whole story. I also was trying to offer some advice that may or may not prove to be helpful. I will stop! Sorry.

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Also, smoke weed and drink beers in a somewhat responsible manner.

 

This is very sound advice.  I always try to be around other people when I'm going through relationship issues, even if it's just sitting around the bar.  It helps me keep my mind of things a bit and honestly it helps fight the loneliness that creeps in when a relationship ends.  I also try and stay as productive as I can, which can be pretty hard when you're going through shit, but it seems to help.  Just trying to avoid completely falling apart in general I guess...

 

Also, pizza is your friend.  There is no wound that it cannot heal.

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I apologize. I wasn't trying to be critical and I obviously don't know the whole story. I also was trying to offer some advice that may or may not prove to be helpful. I will stop! Sorry.

Noo noo it's okay haha.  I didn't mean to sound like an ass, sorry.  You're free to be as critical as you would like.  I just feel like I complain on these boards too often about my stupid girl problems, because I have nowhere else to do it.  

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I always try to be around other people when I'm going through relationship issues, even if it's just sitting around the bar.  It helps me keep my mind of things a bit and honestly it helps fight the loneliness that creeps in when a relationship ends.  

Yeah, it really does help.  Tuesdays and Thursdays two of my friends and I have 45 minutes before class at the start of the day because of the bus schedule, and we go for coffee.  I've literally been looking forward to that since we went on Thursday.  

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Noo noo it's okay haha.  I didn't mean to sound like an ass, sorry.  You're free to be as critical as you would like.  I just feel like I complain on these boards too often about my stupid girl problems, because I have nowhere else to do it.  

 

Haha I am whining on this board too. I mean, that is what forums are for, right? ;) No but really. Girls and guys suck. We all suck together!

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