texan4life Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 last night my gf asked me why would I want to get married to her because essentially all we are best friends; we don't really mess around and stuff, but I know relationships aren't based on that and I don't care and haven't cared for a while. She seems to think that I deserve someone that will satiate all my needs and wants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chkadea Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 last night my gf asked me why would I want to get married to her because essentially all we are best friends; we don't really mess around and stuff, but I know relationships aren't based on that and I don't care and haven't cared for a while. She seems to think that I deserve someone that will satiate all my needs and wants. Well, that's quite the loaded question. While I think a relationship that is serious enough for marriage to be a possibility should involve two people who do consider themselves best friends, a lack of physical intimacy (if that's what you mean by fooling around) sounds like there's something missing. Maybe relationships aren't based on it in your mind, but not caring about it seems...peculiar, in my opinion, if only for the fact that it's one of the easiest ways to share a bond with someone. She could be feeling a whole myriad of emotions when it comes to your situation if she asked you that - insecurity in your relationship and herself if you seem to have no interest in that area, unfulfilled and trying to hint that maybe she wants more, among others. Obviously we don't know the facets of your relationship like you do, but I'd try and ask her if there is something more that you could bring to the relationship to make her feel more secure in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Morning all. Spent my weekend going further down the rabbit hole that is Self Defense Family..... Thanks Kevin, now I have a million more records to buy lol The Scotland 7" is the best. Cottaging is the best song ever and Indoor Windchimes gives me chills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texan4life Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Well, that's quite the loaded question. While I think a relationship that is serious enough for marriage to be a possibility should involve two people who do consider themselves best friends, a lack of physical intimacy (if that's what you mean by fooling around) sounds like there's something missing. Maybe relationships aren't based on it in your mind, but not caring about it seems...peculiar, in my opinion, if only for the fact that it's one of the easiest ways to share a bond with someone. She could be feeling a whole myriad of emotions when it comes to your situation if she asked you that - insecurity in your relationship and herself if you seem to have no interest in that area, unfulfilled and trying to hint that maybe she wants more, among others. Obviously we don't know the facets of your relationship like you do, but I'd try and ask her if there is something more that you could bring to the relationship to make her feel more secure in it. Well it was more of, someone asked us if we were getting married soon (just went to a wedding and we've been together for 5 years) and it continued into a conversation later by ourselves and she brought that up. She stopped wanting to be physical a while ago, she says she just doesn't have any desires and it's not really me in particular that she doesn't want to be intimate with, but just overall she doesn't have any desire in doing anything. It did bother me in the beginning but I've gotten over it. I very much appreciate the feedback, I will ask her that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Best art ever. Circle Jerks for the win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Haha, pretty much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Well it was more of, someone asked us if we were getting married soon (just went to a wedding and we've been together for 5 years) and it continued into a conversation later by ourselves and she brought that up. She stopped wanting to be physical a while ago, she says she just doesn't have any desires and it's not really me in particular that she doesn't want to be intimate with, but just overall she doesn't have any desire in doing anything. It did bother me in the beginning but I've gotten over it. I very much appreciate the feedback, I will ask her that. My personal opinion is that a romantic relationship requires intimacy. Intimacy is a HUGE factor between two people. I just never see a relationship working without that desire, that need for attention and physical contact from the other. Whether it be hand holding to kissing to sex to even a look. From anything to registers in your brain as romance / sexual attraction like said look, or fucking. I think it's all necessary. Without it, I don't think it's a romantic relationship. It's a friendship. You want both in a partner. If I didn't need sexual, physical contact I would marry my best friend. Haha. I don't really know either of you, but if I didn't want to do anything physically with the other I would know I lost interest in the relationship, and vice versa with them. In all honesty what's a relationship without the physical? Just a friendship to me. But even then it's a lack luster one at that cause there's something still missing. Any time I've had that happen on either end it's been an inevitable termination of said relationship. But hey, that's just me, and my outlook / opinion. Everyone is different. Ask yourself if you're cool with being like that for the rest of your life. If you are, cool. I just don't see why you would want to deprive yourself of that. When you're in a state of complacency, it's easy to not miss what you've forgotten. I've been there. But then I would meet a girl and would be like "Holy shit, how could I live without sexual attraction". Your mental state, and current point in life can play a big factor. I just wouldn't want to make a huge life decision like that if your relationship isn't the best it's ever been. Five years it's like that... what happens at ten? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Butcha Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Morning Brian. Almost done with your consecutive early shifts? Today is day 7 of 8. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed every morning ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iron666monkey Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 My personal opinion is that relationship require intimacy. Intimacy is a HUGE factor between two people. I just never see a relationship working without that desire, that need for attention and physical contact from the other. Whether it be hand holding to kissing to sex to even a look. From anything to registers in your brain as romance / sexual attraction like said look, or fucking. I think it's all necessary. Without it, I don't think it's a romantic relationship. It's a friendship. You want both in a partner. If I didn't need sexual, physical contact I would marry my best friend. Haha. I don't really know either of you, but if I didn't want to do anything physically with the other I would know I lost interest in the relationship, and vice versa with them. In all honesty what's a relationship with our the physical? Just a friendship to me. But even then it's a lack luster one at that cause there's something still missing. Any time I've had that happen on either end it's been an inevitable termination of said relationship. But hey, that's just me, and my outlook / opinion. Everyone is different. This is pretty much spot on and what I was thinking. In your post where you said, "She seems to think that I deserve someone that will satiate all my needs and wants.". To me, that sounds like she wants to move on from you, but it too afraid to be the one to instigate the break up. It's almost like she's shut down the sex part with the hope that you'll get frustrated, cheat, or break up with her, or all of the above and that will be the end. Just my 2 cents as well, but I can't see a sexless relationship working. On a side note, on my dad's side, his cousin's daughter, who is much older (late 50's, early 60's) was married to her husband for God knows how many years. About 3 to 4 years ago he came to her and said he just wanted to be friends, that he didn't feel anything beyond a friendship. Granted, they're much older and probably weren't banging like rabbits any more, but that was the end of the relationship. They got a divorce and she moved on because that wasn't what she wanted, and I can't blame her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Been almost a month without an amp, and it's finally showing up today. thanks Matt. https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction?tLabels=9534612964716110053179 My super mega deal copy of Antichrist Superstar shows up today too. Snagged the Simply Vinyl OP for under $100 and am stoked. Now I only want Portrait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGreenOne77 Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 The Scotland 7" is the best. Cottaging is the best song ever and Indoor Windchimes gives me chills. I love how all of them begin with that same "This is Self Defense Music" intro.... The Corrections Officer in Me is another of my top favorites Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Wasn't someone looking for On a Wire? This looks like the cheapest one I have seen in a while. ($15) https://www.discogs.com/sell/item/334264896?utm_campaign=sell_email_new&utm_medium=email&format=Vinyl&text=Get-Up-Kids-On-A-Wire-&ev=wh_new&utm_source=relationship I think it was T3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Wasn't someone looking for On a Wire? This looks like the cheapest one I have seen in a while. ($15) https://www.discogs.com/sell/item/334264896?utm_campaign=sell_email_new&utm_medium=email&format=Vinyl&text=Get-Up-Kids-On-A-Wire-&ev=wh_new&utm_source=relationship I think it was T3? Thanks, but I got a copy. The label still has some left, but they don't offer media anymore so that's a good deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Today is day 7 of 8. It's getting harder and harder to get out of bed every morning ha. I bet. I didn't want to get out of bed at 6 today, so I can imagine early is much worse. No one needs to work that early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Thanks, but I got a copy. The label still has some left, but they don't offer media anymore so that's a good deal. I think the seller is on the board too so he'd probably go a little lower (shave off fees) if you hit him up here. Not that it matters anymore if you already have one, but yknow. I bet. I didn't want to get out of bed at 6 today, so I can imagine early is much worse. No one needs to work that early. Parents are out of town so I drove myself to school instead of getting dropped off on the way to my brothers being dropped off. I didn't get up until 7. Today was glorious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Been almost a month without an amp, and it's finally showing up today. thanks Matt. https://tools.usps.com/go/TrackConfirmAction?tLabels=9534612964716110053179 My super mega deal copy of Antichrist Superstar shows up today too. Snagged the Simply Vinyl OP for under $100 and am stoked. Now I only want Portrait. Awesome. I was curious where it was at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Awesome, I dropped my sandwich on my pants and there is a stain that looks like I pissed myself a bit. Fucking sandwich. I don't know which is more embarrassing, dropping a sandwich or pissing my pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Awesome, I dropped my sandwich on my pants and there is a stain that looks like I pissed myself a bit. Fucking sandwich. I don't know which is more embarrassing, dropping a sandwich or pissing my pants. I'm changing your contact name in my phone to sandwich crotch. THE_James_Champ and GreatGreenOne77 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Nice. It'll be better if you forgot, then randomly get a text from the contact "sandwich crotch". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Someone make class be over now so I can get home and play with my new toys in the mail :c Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I have 7 more hours of work and my girlfriend said I had a surprise coming in the mail today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I have 7 more hours of work and my girlfriend said I had a surprise coming in the mail today RIP. I have five more hours and I already want to die Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I have 2.5 more hours, and need a nap bad. It's slow as hell, so I keep dozing off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGreenOne77 Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I'm changing your contact name in my phone to sandwich crotch. One of the best friends I ever had used to call everyone Bitch as a pet name, begining with me. In his phone, he always had us all listed as Bitch # whatever, but, I was labeled as "Original Bitch" lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominic_ Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I think I might have found a lead on a reasonably priced copy of Riot Act by PJ and am stoked. I'll need to do some fundraising but am still excited Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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