One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Have you ever been through the criminal system for being raped? In my state, less than 2% of charges of rape brought to the police end in the case being brought to court. Well less than half of those end in the perp being convicted. Not to mention that the victim gets dragged through the mud, everyone questions every decision in her life she ever made, and god forbid she has ever had sex before, because that alone will make her a slut in the public eye. She will have to relive it numerous times in court, to lawyers, have it picked apart by the defense attorney. She will have to spend close to two years in the legal system with absolutely no help at all on how to fill out the paperwork correctly, unless she hires a lawyer. If she is selling zines at shows, something tells me she probably isnt rolling in the money to afford a lawyer that can help her on this. So she stopped and wanted her coat back. People make odd decisions when going through a traumatic event. Perhaps she wanted to make things seem as normal as possible to try and survive the event and not end up with her head kicked in. Dont even pretend to know what it is like to be a rape survivor unless you are one, and even then you cant fault any of their decision making. So you are saying you should not report crimes to the authorities? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 And her list of demands are some of the most whacked things I have ever heard. A) apologizing both publicly and through a letter for raping me, - wouldn't this be evidence that would lead to a rape conviction. If he really did rape her it would be in his best interest to not do this. reading and understanding books and zines about consent and rape - Is she trying to plug her zines? C) quitting Gaza until he deals with his shit - so he should quit the band but when he has dealt with his shit he should come back? What kind of band would bring him back if he actually did rape her? Why does she care about his band? Isn't this about her well being? If she is as much an advocate against rape as she claims, organized a slutwalk, why would she not encourage people to go to the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 We have worked hard to establish a good reputation for almost ten years now and we're not about to let an errant accusation unravel that. For those quick to judge, I ask how you would feel if you were forced to face such an accusation? There is no perfect way to handle this, but we're going to take every measure to preserve the most important thing we've created in that time; our reputation. We take this very seriously. The last sentence in Jon's statement is one that cannot be stressed enough.From Jon:"Let me first say that this rape allegation is entirely untrue. Throwing this sort of accusation up on the internet is reckless and completely slanderous. Two of my very close friends have been raped and it was devastating to watch them go through the recovery process, one of which I spent a summer helping through counseling. I went with her to the clinic to get her AIDS test results. Rape infuriates me, and I never see red like I do when I hear about it. This is not a subject or an accusation I take lightly. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I could never and would never force myself on anybody.I'm sorry that you all have to be part of this drama, but this has to be addressed. This mess in no way has anything to do with the band and I'm sorry for the other members as this is a black mark on us that is undeserved and untrue. Women’s rights and all forms of social justice are causes we champion. I would encourage this person as well as any other who feel they have been assaulted to go immediately to the police." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deletedunknown Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I find it so weird she won't go to the cops when she says he admitted via text message. I get that she hates cops and had a friend who didn't get help when she needed it once, but she doesn't have to avoid the police to keep her punk points or whatever. Rape is terrible, but the way this thing is being handled is just strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodybrokeurheart Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 i believe this girl's story. some guys are that dumb. and maybe she realizes he's just a dumb sack of shit and he truly believes she consented. trevorxramage 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Yeah that is pretty inconsistent -- to be an anti-rape activist, be raped, and then not contact the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
element101 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I deal with these types of crimes w/ youth almost weekly. I can just say from familiar stories its pretty similar to most accounts that I hear. But this truly isn't the way to go about it. I hear all the time that women stay around a man because they are "pressured" or "afraid to leave" But if someone is perusing you all night and you aren't feeling it, just call it a night. Not saying dont share a bed, I've done it, we all have. But if you are educated and not drunk, its probably smart not to sleep with someone who you know is attracted to you. Not blaming anyone, just saying its better to avoid things like that. You never know who people are and the thoughts that go through their head. We say it a million times here "When Opportunity meets desire" bad things can happen. Not an accusation of a false report, and I've been through alot of stuff. I get it. But if you truly want justice go about it the right way. She seems like a smart girl but the way she did this doesn't help much. I mean come on, Law and Order SVU has been on forever, people know to go to the police or tell a friend. Not tumblr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgato48 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She needs money and found a easy way to get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She needs money and found a easy way to get it super lame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She tells a story in a later post of her friend that was blown off by the SLC cops for her rape. I'm sure that she isn't the only person to see someone railroaded in their own city and not want to go through something similar. I still hate the Tumblr approach and I don't know either of these people so I can't form a concrete opinion. My feelings boil down to a) it's possible, believable and feasible b ) there are plenty of cases just like this so it's worthy of a discussion and c) I'm not a fan of her approach as it's going to go nowhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GradedOnACurve Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I hate when you type b and then ) it comes out Grievance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Add that for the next great mod to fix. That is so damn annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorxramage Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Not believing her story is one thing, trying to defend anything the guy did in the story is 100% fucked. What she wrote about is rape no questions asked, and whether or not it happened is not something for the entire internet to decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Not believing her story is one thing, trying to defend anything the guy did in the story is 100% fucked. What she wrote about is rape no questions asked, and whether or not it happened is not something for the entire internet to decide. so were supposed to take what she said as 100% fact? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorxramage Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 so were supposed to take what she said as 100% fact? Where exactly do you think I said that? What I said was about as objective as you can get. I don't even know if I believe her, but I'm sure as hell not about to jump on a forum calling her a liar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I am not denying her story at all. I just think that posting the story on a social network site and then says he can complete the "accountability process" by writing her a sorry note and reading some zines is insane. The man raped her. Rape is the most vile crime imaginable. Flipping through some photocopied zines and writing a sorry note will/does not exempt him from the fact he raped someone. No one is denying that the act that was committed was rape. She makes it a internet buzz story by posting it on Tumblr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorxramage Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Why did she sleep in his bed? How did she not wake up earlier? She said she was dead asleep then said she may have been in a sleep stupor and said yes. Seems pretty fuckin defensive to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexicondevil Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I am not denying her story at all. I just think that posting the story on a social network site and then says he can complete the "accountability process" by writing her a sorry note and reading some zines is insane. The man raped her. Rape is the most vile crime imaginable. Flipping through some photocopied zines and writing a sorry note will/does not exempt him from the fact he raped someone. No one is denying that the act that was committed was rape. She makes it a internet buzz story by posting it on Tumblr. Exactly. Less Jerry Springer drama and more get this guy convicted of his serious crime. Her list of demands are self-degrading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorxramage Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Exactly. Less Jerry Springer drama and more get this guy convicted of his serious crime. Her list of demands are self-degrading. I agree, and recommend she goes to the police. And clearly I'm not talking about everyone in the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selfreliable Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 In what way does him going to jail get him to change his behavior? They dont have rape classes in jail, they dont automatically get put into some rape anonymous class, and still most of all, the odds of him being convicted are less than 1% and SHE will have the most damage done to her reputation. She will get more out of a public apology and a letter of admission than she would get from him in a court where he can be found guilty (which wont happen) and still never admit to doing it and saying sorry. She is less likely to have made this up than you are to make up the fact that you were carjacked last week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Well I know that if someone violated me in the way she describes I would not want to see there personal freedoms taken away and there life being ruined by having to register as a sex offender. I would want post about it on the internet and then have them give me a sorry note after I hand them a xeroxed pamphlet about how rape is wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevorxramage Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I would not want to see there personal freedoms taken away and there life being ruined by having to register as a sex offender. **If convicted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maneatingcow Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 She needs money and found a easy way to get it It's impressive that you know so much about the events that took place that night. Perhaps your inside information could illuminate things for us on this topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I think it is rape is fairly provable when the woman does certain actions (like an immediate medical exam). Maybe I'm not remembering things correctly from Health class, but things open up and lubricate down there when she is consensual. When forced, it is painful and leaves damage that can be documented by a professional. So maybe at this point all she can do is defame him because it is gonna be her word against his. But she should have gone directly to the police. Where exactly are these 1 and 2% numbers coming from? I'm not saying I believe that our justice system is perfect but I find it hard to believe it is that broken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
habbazoot Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Here are my un-needed 2 cents about the whole not going to the cops issue. I don't know if anyone else feels it, but I've gotten a sense that a ton of people on tumblr believe two things: 1) cops are evil, and 2) tumblr can save the world. I think she went through tumblr because she actually believes it will make a bigger difference if she went to the police. Whether or not that's actually the case is up for debate, but I personally think that's a fucking dumb decision (as most of you seem to...). She could have went to the police AND posted it on tumblr. Another thing, her demands seem kind of strange...usually people on tumblr like to talk about how rapists should be killed. She's letting him get off hella easy. Also the whole stopping to get the coat thing is really messing with me... I don't know, the whole thing's strange and the world is stupid there's my piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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