Shitty Rambo Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 So I work with this guy who hired on sometime last year. I've been at my job for 4 years and it's a pretty testy environment in general because everyone playfully busts eachother's balls but in a joking way(railway). This guy has never been apart of that and instead talks shit about several workers' job performance, (I've never worked with him in a crew) including me. He kisses the foreman's ass and makes it look like he is going above and beyond everyone else's duties. This guy is in his 30s, claims to be a devote Christian, and only has two people that like him who he carpools with (they aren't liked either). Now I don't respect this guy nor do I want to be his friend, I simply want him to not mention me or talk shit when I'm not at work to defend myself. Judging by his immature-asshole-attitude I figure calling him on his bullshit won't help but on the other hand I don't want him thinking it's ok to talk shit. Should I just suck it up and let it go or should I say something to him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dethrock Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 If you say something to him, will he run to management crying about it? If you don't think he will, let him have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonsofvipers Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 xjustinxschwierx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zacaroo21 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I don't think confrontation has to be a bad thing if you're straight up and honest with him. If he reacts like a fucking baby, then so be it - but you seem like a level headed guy and I'm sure you have a good way with words. Also, I'd rather be approached by a co-worker about personal issues rather than catch shit from higher-ups later on if conflicts aren't resolved at "ground level" first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbobrando Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I think if you were to call him out on it, he would be caught off guard because someone hasn't had the balls to confront him about it yet. There's nothing worse than an employee thinking they know everything when they've only been there for like 3 months. It happens all the time where I work at and the people I work with, including myself, put people in their place. So I agree with other posters, if you don't think he will go to management, then say something to him. Just be straightforward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 obviously don't bring the whole christian thing into it. I was in a similar situation but never said anything because there was like 5 other workers on the entire dock and it happened to be one of the higher up's sons and was the go to guy since he'd been there the longest. I say wait til you hear about him talking shit on you then confront him when he's by himself after all if he only has 2 other friends it's not like you're risking people disliking you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shitty Rambo Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 I don't intend on threatening him or cussing him out, so I don’t think he'd have a justifiable reason to run and taddle. He could cry to the foreman but he's retiring in 18 days and won't care. Should I do it infront of the other guys or pull him aside? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 personaly if thats the case it doesn't seem worth it to me then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shitty Rambo Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 I get what you're saying. If I were to yell at him he'd either turn me in or try and get tough which would really piss me off haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I definitely wouldn't do it in front of other people as he'll just take it the wrong way and think you're trying to make him look bad or something, which would probably only have him set his crosshairs on you even more astutely. Whether or not I would even confront him would really depend for me on the amount of empirical evidence. Do you know if you've personally even been talked shit about at this point? Is it all second-hand, kind of he-said she-said? If so I would try to remain as objective as possible even though in that situation it would be hard to come off as that. I always just try to kill people with kindness at work and be friends with everyone but also just have a kind of "whatever dude" attitude where shit just rolls off my back, and take nothing personally. If he's really some lame ass christian with a propensity for opinionated bullshit, it's doubtful he'll really change his ways, especially at this point in life. If it were me in your shoes, I'd just steer clear until I heard him directly talking shit about me or anyone else, at which point I would tell him to cut that shit out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shitty Rambo Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 That's probably the best approach. I'm sure I'll overhear him talking shit about someone else behind their back before week's end, I could butt in with a simple, "Fuck dude, do you ever compliment people behind their backs or only talk shit?" The more I think about it the less I want to reason with this guy. I kind of just want to make it clear that I hate him and that he's a coward hahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daegor Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm a manager at an office, I am responsible for around 85 people. I have had to deal with many interpersonal complaints and issues, the biggest thing is not to get involved, don't get in the middle. Discussions are one thing, confrontations are another, avoid confrontation at all costs. As soon as the situation changes from asshole having a problem with you, but you're above it, to you two having a problem with each other I as a manager am obliged to clear up the conflict/drama before I am able to look objectively at who is at fault. I have seen SO MANY good people get dragged into conflict with a shit disturber, and I end up having to slap both of their hands. Eventually if they can't pull themselves out of the state of conflict I have to enact some real discipline, even if they aren't to blame, they are continueing the issue. TALK to asshole, civil, ideally with as impartial as a witness as possible to vouch for the fact that you were civil when you talked to him. When that fails (when), take it up to someone with authority and DROP IT. Wait a reasonable period of time to see if the behaviour stops, if not, touch base with the authority figure again, if you are shrugged off on that second time, or if you don't notice a change after the second time, take it further up the chain. Lather, rinse, repeat until satisfied. Keep your hands fucking clean, when you finally land your issue with a manager that cares (there aren't many that truly care about HR issues/employee relations), you will make it so much easier for him/her to execute the necessary action if your hands are clean. If they aren't clean, he/she has to deal with both of you fairly, which isn't fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 You confront him, he lies, runs to management, and you get called to the office. It's how life work inside a work environment, unless you decked him....claimed he walked into some type of machinary and got your floor/level to back you. Also BWE gif time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 So I work with this guy who hired on sometime last year. I've been at my job for 4 years and it's a pretty testy environment in general because everyone playfully busts eachother's balls but in a joking way(railway). This guy has never been apart of that and instead talks shit about several workers' job performance, (I've never worked with him in a crew) including me. He kisses the foreman's ass and makes it look like he is going above and beyond everyone else's duties. This guy is in his 30s, claims to be a devote Christian, and only has two people that like him who he carpools with (they aren't liked either). Now I don't respect this guy nor do I want to be his friend, I simply want him to not mention me or talk shit when I'm not at work to defend myself. Judging by his immature-asshole-attitude I figure calling him on his bullshit won't help but on the other hand I don't want him thinking it's ok to talk shit. Should I just suck it up and let it go or should I say something to him? are you union or non-union? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I think Daegor is right. I'd leave it alone for now. See what happens with the new foreman. I've been around plenty of shitty inter-office politics and it is always best to keep your hands clean. Against a guy like that there is almost no way to come out clean. Some men just want to watch the world burn. daegor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xjustinxschwierx Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 you work on a railway, have a foreman, etc? clearly you're a badass who shouldn't need to worry about other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somethingvinyl Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm a manager at an office, I am responsible for around 85 people. I have had to deal with many interpersonal complaints and issues, the biggest thing is not to get involved, don't get in the middle. Discussions are one thing, confrontations are another, avoid confrontation at all costs. As soon as the situation changes from asshole having a problem with you, but you're above it, to you two having a problem with each other I as a manager am obliged to clear up the conflict/drama before I am able to look objectively at who is at fault. I have seen SO MANY good people get dragged into conflict with a shit disturber, and I end up having to slap both of their hands. Eventually if they can't pull themselves out of the state of conflict I have to enact some real discipline, even if they aren't to blame, they are continueing the issue. TALK to asshole, civil, ideally with as impartial as a witness as possible to vouch for the fact that you were civil when you talked to him. When that fails (when), take it up to someone with authority and DROP IT. Wait a reasonable period of time to see if the behaviour stops, if not, touch base with the authority figure again, if you are shrugged off on that second time, or if you don't notice a change after the second time, take it further up the chain. Lather, rinse, repeat until satisfied. Keep your hands fucking clean, when you finally land your issue with a manager that cares (there aren't many that truly care about HR issues/employee relations), you will make it so much easier for him/her to execute the necessary action if your hands are clean. If they aren't clean, he/she has to deal with both of you fairly, which isn't fun. I just began a job as a program coordinator for a non-profit. I have 7 staff under me and then ultimately supervise 43 adults with I/D disabilties. It's been nearly two months. I've had to resolve a handful of conflicts amongst staff already. I never realized how petty people at the bottom of the latter are (myself included when I was there). Anyway, I just read your advice and took notes. The hardest thing for me is to not participate in office gossip. My supervisor does it and it's so fucking fun. But I know it'll just bite me in the ass in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shitty Rambo Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 You confront him, he lies, runs to management, and you get called to the office. It's how life work inside a work environment, unless you decked him....claimed he walked into some type of machinary and got your floor/level to back you. Also BWE gif time! It crossed my mind haha. But there's cameras all over the yard to "stop terrorist from hijacking our units". are you union or non-union? Union, but they're not worth a fuck. They just take a cut of our pay and don't do anything to help our guys when their jobs are on the line. I think i'm just going to ignore it. If he says 'hi' or tries to make small talk I'll just not respond or walk away. I could always bid to the different job/different shift if I feel like there's a 95% chance I'm going to kick him in the stomach every day. I'll miss my current days off though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daegor Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Anyway, I just read your advice and took notes. The hardest thing for me is to not participate in office gossip. My supervisor does it and it's so fucking fun. But I know it'll just bite me in the ass in the end. It's scary to think someone is taking notes from me And yeah, the gossip thing is HARD, especially since in my case I worked my way up the ranks, so many people I'm reasponsible for used to be my peers, and of course we talked somethingvinyl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It crossed my mind haha. But there's cameras all over the yard to "stop terrorist from hijacking our units". so? he was a terrorist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashhax Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Tape Recorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shitty Rambo Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 I went ahead and said something to him, essentially, "If working in a hostile work environment and being an asshole is your prerogative than leave me out of it, we're not friends, so when you talk shit it's not joking around, it's just you being a dick." He's under the impression that he works harder than everyone and that we don't meet his expectations as coworkers. I basically told him he doesn't work in our crew and has no say in how long it takes us to do something. I don't cut corners at work because that shit gets dudes killed around here, kind of a lot. I expect he'll still run his mouth amongst his buddies, as long as he's not bringing me up amongst the shop when I'm off work than they can have their little secret tree house conversations. Next time I won't be cool about it. daegor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noodle Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 aside from lunch, what's better than watching conflict and arguments you're not apart of unfold at work? daegor and somethingvinyl 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somethingvinyl Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 aside from lunch, what's better than watching conflict and arguments you're not apart of unfold at work? Haha. So true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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