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CONFESSIONS


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"It is just peeing btw, nothing sexual, just sharing a toilet, because there is enough room. Something I have wanted to do for about 15 or 16 years (not sure when I first thought of it but about that time period.)"

 

That was awesome. 

haha yeah that was good

 

someone said....How about "The Tricky Tandem Trickle" or 4T's for short.

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I am an extremely quiet, calm, and reserved person, but in reality I feel so depressed, inadequate, furious, and worthless every single day of my life since I was at least 8 years old. When I was 18, I got some friends together to start a hardcore band because I needed a release. When we wrote the record, I called it "Confessions" because it was about everything I had never really expressed to anyone in my entire life (including the three different therapists I've been lying to for 5 years). So, through my lyrics about mu depression, hatred for religion, suicidal thoughts and feelings of loneliness, it was sort of a cry for help to all my band mates and close friends. Not one time did any of my friends and band mates, who had all commented on talked to me about how powerful my lyrics, never mentioned the content.

I've always been the "go to" friend when any of my friends had a problem. So, the fact that no one even seemed to notice was just a slap in the face to me and has lead to me resenting a lot of the people around me.

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I am an extremely quiet, calm, and reserved person, but in reality I feel so depressed, inadequate, furious, and worthless every single day of my life since I was at least 8 years old. When I was 18, I got some friends together to start a hardcore band because I needed a release. When we wrote the record, I called it "Confessions" because it was about everything I had never really expressed to anyone in my entire life (including the three different therapists I've been lying to for 5 years). So, through my lyrics about mu depression, hatred for religion, suicidal thoughts and feelings of loneliness, it was sort of a cry for help to all my band mates and close friends. Not one time did any of my friends and band mates, who had all commented on talked to me about how powerful my lyrics, never mentioned the content.

I've always been the "go to" friend when any of my friends had a problem. So, the fact that no one even seemed to notice was just a slap in the face to me and has lead to me resenting a lot of the people around me.

I guess maybe this isnt an option, since you lie to therapists, but maybe try talking to them about it. It sounds like it hurts you that you cant express yourself, maybe make a point of trying. Don't hold it against them if they're just obvlivious. If you think they know and are avoiding it, then yeah, they suck
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  • 2 weeks later...

I want to blow all of my student loan money and take out PLUS loans to buy a used car. I want to use 4800 of my student loans to enroll in second city for writing and improv, so at least I'll enjoy some of my debt. I don't like my graduate classes (as much as I thought I would) and I feel they don't challenge me enough (besides relearning time management and faking it). I'm a nervous wreck when I'm not in charge of my transportation on the way to school, I commute by train 3 hours a day. I have anxiety when I'm not in control of when I can leave somewhere if I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed.  

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In Kansas back in the day you could get a partial license at 14. Full at 15. My first cat was a 1969 Plymouth Valarie station wagon. If you had a legit farm you could get a license at 11or12.

Never made it to a suburb. Mostly just fantasized about them from movies.

Always wanted to hear "come home when the street lights come on".

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Teenage Eric seems to have an excuse for everything. I grew up in the suburbs and when I was 16 I would walk a mile and wait an hour at the bus stop for the only bus that came through my neighborhood to get to my first job at some crappy hole-in-the-wall batting cage. Most of the time the bus just wouldn't show up. The whole experience was miserable. But every two weeks when I would take my measly check to Amoeba to buy some records and DVDs, it was all made worth it with a fantastic feeling of self-satisfaction.

Point being, you either make shit happen or you don't.

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