The Ex-Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) Thread

[cambionic]

That's fucking brutal man and my heart goes out to you.

However, in the last seven years dating has gotten wild. So there's that.

Thank you.  It's tough, but I feel that it was an amicable break.  We've been very honest and mature with each other over the years and the breakup was no different.  I still love her, and I feel I always will, but it was for the best.

 

I've been there and it sucks. It sucks a lot, and for that I'm so terribly sorry for you. I know it sounds cliche, and you're gonna hear it over and over again, but it does get better. Actually, it can get a lot better and everything you thought was perfect can actually get better and more rewarding. Again, I know it sounds cheesy, but keep your head up man, you'll get through it.

I hear that a lot, but I'm starting to believe it.  I don't think cynically looking at the world through the heartbreak filter will help me at all.  I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic, focus on improving myself and not really chasing any new women for the time being.  My new life will probably consist of just hanging with friends and trying to jump back into the bachelor life.  It's been a long time.

 

The seven year itch.... some people just don't make it. I'm so sorry though. Seven years is a really long time to devote yourself and your life to someone. I can't even imagine the pain and difficulty you're going through right now. I hope you are able to do some soul searching and find what makes you happy without her in your life. Enjoy what you have as much as you can, and think about all the adventures ahead of you. 

It's the end of a chapter of my life, both of our lives.  We talked for four hours today and went over every question that needed an answer.  Lots of crying from both sides, goddamn I was dehydrated after all of that.  Sometime this or next week we're going to be parsing out our belongings - probably a more cathartic experience than the actual breakup talk.  I got a long road ahead of me, but hopefully I learn from this episode and am able to use it as a way to develop into my full potential.  It'll just be difficult for a long while.

[Satan]

Oh you kids. My absolute best friend is the girl I dated in high school. She was 14 and I was 17.

I'm now 30 and fucking love that girl to death.

[cambionic]

To be honest, it's so fresh I may still be in shock.  I feel like I've accepted it, but sometimes those thoughts bubble up that I've lost the perfect girl of my dreams.  It takes effort to suppress them, but it's all I can do for now.  Can't be breaking down while I'm at work.

[Bladewillisisdead]

Oh you kids. My absolute best friend is the girl I dated in high school. She was 14 and I was 17.

I'm now 30 and fucking love that girl to death.

I still love the first girl who broke my heart. We don't talk often and we live in different states, but we're still friends. This is obviously not the girlfriend I posted about earlier in this thread.

My most recent ex blocked me on all social media like 7 months after I moved out.

[Eliminator Jr.]

I still love the first girl who broke my heart. We don't talk often and we live in different states, but we're still friends.

 

I'm exactly in the same place. We meet up like every six months and barely even chat in between, but when we do it really warms my heart. It's awesome to have someone to talk with whom you've spent a great deal of your adulthood and who really knows everything about you. It's a special kind of friendship and I'm glad it's still working out despite both of us being in serious relationships.

[cambionic]

I still love the first girl who broke my heart. We don't talk often and we live in different states, but we're still friends. This is obviously not the girlfriend I posted about earlier in this thread.

My most recent ex blocked me on all social media like 7 months after I moved out.

 

I've been contemplating blocking my recent ex on all social media just so I don't have the reminder.  It hurts to see her, hurts to hear her, hurts to even think about her.  I just need a "cooldown" period... that may last forever.  I'll only know when I get there.

[Eliminator Jr.]

I've been contemplating blocking my recent ex on all social media just so I don't have the reminder.  It hurts to see her, hurts to hear her, hurts to even think about her.  I just need a "cooldown" period... that may last forever.  I'll only know when I get there.

 

I did exactly that. The girl I mentioned above was dead to me for half a year. I just couldn't cope with it any other way. But after that time period I felt the urge to just talk to her and make things right.(I said some rather mean things when she dumped me) It's been a beautiful friendship since then and I care about her a lot.

[Bladewillisisdead]

I did exactly that. The girl I mentioned above was dead to me for half a year. I just couldn't cope with it any other way. But after that time period I felt the urge to just talk to her and make things right.(I said some rather mean things when she dumped me) It's been a beautiful friendship since then and I care about her a lot.

I didn't speak to the girl who broke my heart for several YEARS before we became friends again.

I totally understand the cool down period and not being able to see her on social media without it hurting. Which is why I think it's hilarious my ex blocked me over half a year later (also, she was the one who broke up with me)

[Eliminator Jr.]

I totally understand the cool down period and not being able to see her on social media without it hurting. Which is why I think it's hilarious my ex blocked me over half a year later (also, she was the one who broke up with me)

 

Yeah that's weird. Maybe she's got a whole different set of problems to deal with..

[hippielauryn]

I've been contemplating blocking my recent ex on all social media just so I don't have the reminder.  It hurts to see her, hurts to hear her, hurts to even think about her.  I just need a "cooldown" period... that may last forever.  I'll only know when I get there.

 

I think it's good to cut them off for awhile. Seeing them on social media time and time again makes it more difficult to move forward. 

[cambionic]

With the urging of my friends, I made Tinder and OKC accounts to scope the dating scene.  After swiping right countless times and spending a few hours crafting up a good enough profile for OKC, I eventually settled down into poring through various profiles of local girls.  It gave me a bit of a confidence boost and helped me forget about my ex (at least while I was doing it).  I ran across one girl in particular that I'd love to meet, but she hadn't signed in for the last two days.  Maybe one day she'll be my next ex-girlfriend.

[Eliminator Jr.]

I think it's one thing to just look around for the sake of forgetting about an ex for a few minutes, but a whole different story to actually meet someone and dive into something new. Of course it could work out perfectly, for me it did not. It backfired horribly. I was seeing a girl for several weeks right after a pretty disturbing break-up. She was at a wholly different point in life and was really hoping for a serious relationship with me. I figured I wasn't ready for anything like that at all and had to tell her that I still was pretty much in love with the ex. She felt betrayed, I felt horrible. It was one of the saddest periods of my life. 

[cambionic]

I think it's one thing to just look around for the sake of forgetting about an ex for a few minutes, but a whole different story to actually meet someone and dive into something new. Of course it could work out perfectly, for me it did not. It backfired horribly. I was seeing a girl for several weeks right after a pretty disturbing break-up. She was at a wholly different point in life and was really hoping for a serious relationship with me. I figured I wasn't ready for anything like that at all and had to tell her that I still was pretty much in love with the ex. She felt betrayed, I felt horrible. It was one of the saddest periods of my life. 

 

The whole "next ex-girlfriend" comment was a joke.  Right now I'm so fucked up, I don't know what I want.  Sloppy-wet, drunken rebound sex?  No.  Manically urgent, deep-end, long-term relationship replacement?  Not at all.  Possibly just a group of viable, beautiful women for me to sexlessly talk to and cry at for days on end.  Yeah, that's it.

 

My friends all insisted that we go to a strip club and they all bought me private dances.  By the end of the night, every girl in the club knew my story.  Of course, they were sympathetic - partly because it's their job and partly because a majority of them are kickass individuals with understanding hearts - but it didn't really help my situation at all.  I was the saddest guy in the club that night, even with the constant perfunctory rebuffing of every girl's advances.  I didn't want contrived sympathy paired with sweaty genitals ground against my leg, I wanted a true connection - even for just a moment.  But every girl that I talked to, I found myself comparing her to my ex.  I ended up going home with nothing but jaded heartache and a bad case of blue-balls without my routine recourse.

 

The Tinder and OKC accounts have somehow made me feel somewhat confident and momentarily erase the current emotional disintegration from my mind, at least while the apps are opened.  The fantasy element of first dates and one night stands serve to distract me from the all-to-real reality that I have to go to sleep alone, on a couch, for the long forseeable future.  The excited comparisons of our matched questions (and their overwhelming crossovers) ameliorate the heartbreak for just a little while... and it shows me that maybe, just maybe, there are girls out there that could fill the gaping crater in my soul that my ex left.  Not just sexually, but emotionally, intellectually, mentally.

[cambionic]

Also, It's tedious moving over all these preorders and subscription services I have to a new address.  For the time being, I'm just waiting until I have a permanent new address before I start changing it all over.  I head over to my old apartment when my ex is at work and collect whatever packages have been delivered.  I haven't really moved out all the way, just living out of luggage right now, so I leave all my new records there.  I haven't spun a record in over three weeks. 

[cambionic]

Welp, things got better.  

[DecayToDeath]

Welp, things got better.  

[birdwell]

Went to my Ex's wedding yesterday (we dated for 6 years, lived together 5 years and broke up about 2 and a half years ago). It was weird seeing and talking to her family again...even weirder, my current girlfriend did all of the flowers/arrangements for her wedding.

Thankfully our breakup was fairly amicable....it sucked, horribly at the time, but i was pretty shocked with how quickly I realized that she was right an our shit was NOT working.

Happy as hell now. So is she (obviously). And I think my current girlfriend found her calling in doing flowers for weddings.

Life is fucking weird and horrible sometimes....other times shit really does buff itself out.

[The Butcha]

Went to my Ex's wedding yesterday (we dated for 6 years, lived together 5 years and broke up about 2 and a half years ago). It was weird seeing and talking to her family again...even weirder, my current girlfriend did all of the flowers/arrangements for her wedding.

Thankfully our breakup was fairly amicable....it sucked, horribly at the time, but i was pretty shocked with how quickly I realized that she was right an our shit was NOT working.

Happy as hell now. So is she (obviously). And I think my current girlfriend found her calling in doing flowers for weddings.

Life is fucking weird and horrible sometimes....other times shit really does buff itself out.

 

God damn, what a situation. 

[cambionic]

Went to my Ex's wedding yesterday (we dated for 6 years, lived together 5 years and broke up about 2 and a half years ago). It was weird seeing and talking to her family again...even weirder, my current girlfriend did all of the flowers/arrangements for her wedding.

Thankfully our breakup was fairly amicable....it sucked, horribly at the time, but i was pretty shocked with how quickly I realized that she was right an our shit was NOT working.

Happy as hell now. So is she (obviously). And I think my current girlfriend found her calling in doing flowers for weddings.

Life is fucking weird and horrible sometimes....other times shit really does buff itself out.

 

It's funny how things happen like that.  It's such a surreal reality.

[JacobMckinley]

Welp, things got better.  

Bruh. 'Splain Yo' Self! 

[themeconspiracy]

every time i come in this thread, i get super bummed out by that first post

[Bladewillisisdead]

My posts are pretty dope if I remember correctly tho

[laralaurent]

Life is fucking weird and horrible sometimes....other times shit really does buff itself out.

 

still waiting on my buffing, but i love to hear stories like this.

 

time is time is time is time.

[NapalmBrain]

I think my love life can be summed up by getting out a lot less than you put in, and getting taken advantage of over and over again. I try to hold out hope that someone out there won't treat me like shit, but most days hermit is better

[Guest]

story time

I dated a guy straight out of high school (evan). I’ve never had to work that hard to get someone to date me. It was almost a year before he would even admit we were officially 'together'. I’d say out of the 4 years we were together, not even 6 months of it was good. it was always bad, violent, emotional, terrifying. We were too young and couldn’t handle all those adult feelings. We would fight in the car and he would jump out, just throw himself out of a moving vehicle. He would leave my apartment in the city and just be gone for the entire night when we would fight. So many times we would be fighting, and he would act like he was going to punch/slap me, but stop an inch from my face. He only actually hit me a few times. I’m not innocent, but I’d like to think I was a good person driven to do bad things in a desperate situation. I did cheat on him, only because I was so done and wanted to be with someone new, but couldn’t break up with him. His mind games were on a different level. He could bait me to respond to him every single time. We were so vile to each other, I still feel ashamed when I think about the things we said/did to each other. Every time I tried to break up with him he would freak out, sobbing, threatening to kill himself. It was so emotionally taxing.

My friends and family were worried and encouraged me to break up with him every chance they got. My dad had 2 strokes back to back, and was in the hospital, Evan he found out and visited my dad. At this point, my dad did not have his speech back, and was prone to random bursts of emotion, like crying. My dad was crying uncontrollably when Evan visited him. Evan later called me to laugh about how my dad reacted when he saw him. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to murder someone more than I did at that moment. I ended up getting pregnant and did not tell him. I had decided to get an abortion, when shortly after I had a miscarriage. I am so thankful I am not tied to him for the rest of my life. Soon after that I came up with a plan. It was his dream to go to this chiropractor school in Georgia. I basically lived a lie for a few months. Pretending everything was good and encouraging him to apply for that school so he would leave and be away from me. He did and he got in. When we said goodbye he cried and I was so secretly excited. I ran inside and was jumping around and was so happy, feeling like I was free. He got to Georgia and I broke up with him a week later. He smashed his cell phone, so he would call me from the common room of his dorm every night just sobbing and wailing. It’s been years and I can still remember exactly how his sobbing sounded on the phone. His mom was also calling me and telling me how worried she was. A few weeks went by with the phone calls and texts, which ranged from begging for me back to telling me he hoped I’d die of AIDS. I would try to ignore but he would play those games and always pull me back in. He told me he was coming back and he would ‘do something bad’ if I did not pick him up at the airport. So I went, alone. So stupid. I pulled up and he got in and again, started sobbing. He pulled out a ring box and proposed to me. Last ditch effort. I said no and we had a silent 2 hour drive back home, besides him intermittently crying. When he got out he handed me a 7 page letter, again begging for me back and promising he would change. He tried to kiss me, I didn’t let him.

At that point he did attempt to cut off contact with me, but he always came back. I blocked his number and he would use his friends phone, or Facebook, or make a new email and email me. I dated a black man and this drove him absolutely insane. He went nuts over that. This continued for years on and off. He would find out who i was dating and write them Facebook messages (lies) about me. He honestly haunted me for years. I ended up getting a PPO against him. The part i hate the most was how it seemed to effect my family. They were scared for themselves but mostly so worried about me. This all happened when I was 17-20, I’m 26 now and even just a year ago I got an email from him telling me to break up with Jimmy.

what a great way to start off my dating life. I really don’t know how I’m not more fucked up from the whole ordeal… all I can say is that i have the greatest friends who supported me 100% and always fought to protect me from him.

there you have it... and that’s only the first one!