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CONFESSIONS


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i can remember my second time. with some dumb umass girl who i havent talked to since. i came super quick and tried to play it off like nothing happened, kept going, and then faked it.

 

lol.

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i've had girls get off me because they just couldn't take it anymore. 

 

but really, an orgasm isn't my goal. hers is more than mine. i pop about 4 nights a week on my own... i'm just elated when i'm actually in there, givin' & gettin'.

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Damn Ry, that's really tough. I always get down because I haven't even found a girl worth my time, and it really gets me down. The only girl I ever felt a connection with ended up lying to me for two years and ended up dating my best friend, and then cheating on him. But then I read your story and it really opened my eyes. I don't think I could handle anything to that extreme, that would literally eat me alive. It's awesome to see you dealing with it maturely with a positive outlook. I guess being single isn't the worst thing that could happen to me. Best of luck man, seriously.

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Ry, I just read your story. I have a very similar one that i'd rather not get into, but i think you have the same issue i had for a while. after you get over how mad you are, you focus on all the good parts of the relationship and forget how fucked up and horrible it was most of the time. i went through quite a spell where i told myself "we just need the time" and thought that good moments in our past were a part of bigger meaning and the bad parts were just hang-ups we'd get over. i don't think it ever completely goes away when you shared all these ridiculously mature and intense moments so young and for so many of your better years. it's impossibly hard, but i think things get better once you figure out how to let her go and truly hope she is happy. that resentment is toxic.

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i've really gotten beyond the resentment, i don't know if that showed. there were moments of infidelity, and i simply choose to ignore that for the sake of at least being able to appreciate how amazing the good times were.

as bad as things were, they were that good at other times. as much as we hated each other at times, we loved each other more. ugh. 

the problem now is that i haven't put THIS much thought into her in over a year. fuck.

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Thought I'd finally throw a confession out there.

I've been single for 8 years now. I've only had one real relationship and that was with my daughters mother. It was horrible. It finally ended the day she told me she was surprised I never beat her cause of how bad she treated me. She told me I had a free shot to beat her and if i did she knew she deserved it.

Then was when I realized she had no emotional connection to me anymore. Then is when I decided to live only for my daughter and no one else. Been single for 8 years and perfectly fine with remaining single for the rest of my life.

Do I want a relationship sure I wouldn't mind but I doubt there is woman in the world that will accept the fact that they will always come second to my daughter.

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My turn I suppose... 

 

Whenever my ex-wfie decides to contact me, I always feel like I did something wrong to end things, when it is crystal clear that it was all her and not me. Also I just hope for her to say she wants to be together again and as terrible of a decision that would be for me, I would probably accept it.

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