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I didn't come of age with anybody :-/ army brat till I was a teen.

That's why I'm normally pretty independent/do my own damn thing. But it'd be nice to have someone I shared anything in common with sometimes. But hey, this is kind of just me whining. I have a friend that barely leaves his house, and won't do anything just to hang out - like, he won't see a movie with me he wasn't already way into seeing. NONE of my friends like the music I do. A few are into comics, which is not my thing, but I've been asking them for suggestions and stuff to borrow just for something to do.

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Here's one I feel safe with:

 

I destroyed the bathroom at Around The Clock in the Village and let someone else be blamed. 

 

In 2004 I lost a friend I grew up with - he was drumming for Leftover Crack at the time. This was a guy I built RC Cars with and forts in the woods to have water balloon fights. He was living his dream and when it ended a small part of my childhood just died in an instant. There was this memorial show for him at the old CBGBs Gallery and I went and got wasted. I went to Around the Clock where my friend was bartending that night and got blitz on top of it. I was an emotional mess and went to the bathroom and put my fist through the light fixture cutting it badly. Then I finished the job by destroying the soap dispensors, the hand dryer and just about all I could. A friend walked in and took me outside to cry it out. He walked across the street to buy me some bandaids and just sat with me on the sidewalk for a couple hours until I could get it together. 

 

The next day apparently someone else had been blamed and banned from the bar. I never fessed up because I liked getting the free drinks but that night I realized that since his death I had been drinking too much and started getting help from a therapist. So the free drinks were meaningless as I went dry for six months to sort out my head. I should have just fessed up and been the bigger guy. 

 

Still love that my friend did that for me that night. 

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As I've gotten older it has been harder to make new friends but have plenty of professional relations that want to hang out. That is really a drag though, who wants to be reminded of work in your down time?

 

My best friends are still the same guys I've known since I was 12-18. We get together as much as we can. There is no replacing those you came of age with. 

 

I don't talk to a single person I "came of age with"—I barely converse with anyone I went to college with. When I go home for the holidays, I don't go out to bars or anything, simply because I don't want to see those people ever again, even the ones I got along with in high school.

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I don't talk to a single person I "came of age with"—I barely converse with anyone I went to college with. When I go home for the holidays, I don't go out to bars or anything, simply because I don't want to see those people ever again, even the ones I got along with in high school.

This is definitely how I feel. It bothers me sometimes because I'm in vet school now and although I get invited to hang out sometimes, I'm just not interested in being around them outside of school. most of that is more due to own social awkwardness and laziness. My best friend from college and i rarely talk anymore since we've grown so far apart. I have one good friend left who I rarely see. It makes me nervous because if I suck this bad at making friends now, how bad will it be when I'm out of school

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I am at a bar waiting for my wealthy and successful older brother who is freaking late as always. I love him but he is the most self centered peraon I know and it drives me nuts. I left work early to be on time yet its just like last time and the time before and before. Thankfully, i Have a cold beer and some sports on tv. Gotta be calm.

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RyBread,

 

was always about to fall asleep when i made my way to this thread, finally read your confession about Christina. ... you're right. we should be best friends. I used to have rage problems.....  well... i probably still do. haven't been in a real relationship recently enough to find out.... there was one night only 3 months ago, the girl i was talking to made me so angry i went out to my car in the Sbux parking lot, opened the trunk, and just started breaking whatever random shit i could find in my car. Which was about 30 CDs (still have cd shards in my car) a few super nintendo carts (those look cool on the inside!) and unfortunately the sweet cassette player i got from Goodwill the day before... luckily it was 9:30 at night and there was hardly anybody there/on the streets and i don't think anyone heard me yelling "that fucking cunt!!! fucking bitch!" as i threw shit on the ground/broke it in my hands.

 

I never fought with the girl from 3 years ago until we broke up... then it was every couple of weeks... because i was so hurt and trying to be buddies with someone you're still in love with sucks ass. We were famous at work for always bickering and being pissed at each other...

 

she just told me last night that in November while we were drinking at the pub, we kissed in front of all of her co-workers we were there with. Reallllllly surprised me & kind of bothers me. Chick needs to stop getting drunk and kissing me. We both know it's not gonna lead anywhere.

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RyBread,

 

was always about to fall asleep when i made my way to this thread, finally read your confession about Christina. ... you're right. we should be best friends. I used to have rage problems.....  well... i probably still do. haven't been in a real relationship recently enough to find out.... there was one night only 3 months ago, the girl i was talking to made me so angry i went out to my car in the Sbux parking lot, opened the trunk, and just started breaking whatever random shit i could find in my car. Which was about 30 CDs (still have cd shards in my car) a few super nintendo carts (those look cool on the inside!) and unfortunately the sweet cassette player i got from Goodwill the day before... luckily it was 9:30 at night and there was hardly anybody there/on the streets and i don't think anyone heard me yelling "that fucking cunt!!! fucking bitch!" as i threw shit on the ground/broke it in my hands.

 

I never fought with the girl from 3 years ago until we broke up... then it was every couple of weeks... because i was so hurt and trying to be buddies with someone you're still in love with sucks ass. We were famous at work for always bickering and being pissed at each other...

 

she just told me last night that in November while we were drinking at the pub, we kissed in front of all of her co-workers we were there with. Reallllllly surprised me & kind of bothers me. Chick needs to stop getting drunk and kissing me. We both know it's not gonna lead anywhere.

 

 

jesus, this just reminded me of one of the uglier fights. it was after a brewfest up in vermont, so we were both annihilated. as things were ending, she managed to lose her camera. after about an hour of trying to find it, we lost our friends. after a trip to the bathroom, she comes out, and says her phone is stuck. in the toilet. i had to go into the women's room, literally reach into the toilet and pull with all my strength to get it out. i still can't figure out how the hell it happened.

but between the alcohol, and me just being beyond annoyed that she could lose her camera and break her phone.. i just blew up on her. i don't remember deciding it was time for me to make the 2+ hour drive home, but we just continued fighting. eventually i found myself bashing the side of a fence with a 9 iron because i was just so damn angry.

my confessions are just stories in disguise at this point.

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- I am extremely shy and nervous and often drink a lot at in social situations, even family gatherings, so I am a little more open and talkative. This mostly leads to me getting way too drunk, which in turn makes me feel even worse.
 

- I  have always have done fine in school, but I feel like I don’t do nearly as well as I could. I’m just not motivated. I went to my first school for two years before transferring because I thought that’s what my parents wanted, and entered my major for the same reason. I often wonder what it would be like if I chose something different.


- A lot of times I pass up on going out or something because I’m nervous or I have my own routine - sleep early, up early, run, etc. I enjoy it. I have friends, but I feel like I don't even connect with them sometimes, and that I definitely can’t connect with anyone in school, work, or life because of whatever is holding me back. Part of me likes it but part of me hates it.

 

- I have been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years (since high school), and when I tell people they always comment on how
long that is and how they don’t know how I could be with one person for so long. I love her, and I’m sure we’ll get married, but when people say it part of me wonders if I missed out on anything.


 

 

 

It took me a long time to finally post even these little things that bother me, but after reading this entire thread you all seem like cool people. I wish I contributed more!

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