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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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I'm in (kinda) the same situation. I just got out of a seven year relationship and I'm just trying to find out who the hell I was before all of it. I've definitely been changed since then, but I don't know who "single" me is. I remeber the old single me, who was kind of a womanizing douchebag asshole drunkard. Now I'm boring and sober with a developed respect for women as human beings. It's a strange, strange world now...

It's a pretty interesting thing to find yourself again. Iv been remembering little things on and off in the past few weeks. It's especially weird for me since we pretty much moved to Portland together last year. So everything I relate to here has to do with "us". So it's kinda terrifying and cool at the same time to feel alone in a place you've only expierenced with another person.

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For me the game is just the basic "rules" of dating. I go out with a guy, I like the guy, and I personally just want to hang with them and talk to them more.

Supposedly I'm supposed to just wait around and see if they text me or some shit? If I have a good time, I just want to tell them. So. I don't know.

People are confusing.

It's this whole... Who is going to play it cool longer. And ultimately I think it just ruins it because then both of you think that the other isn't into it. Like. Wut

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For me the game is just the basic "rules" of dating. I go out with a guy, I like the guy, and I personally just want to hang with them and talk to them more.

Supposedly I'm supposed to just wait around and see if they text me or some shit? If I have a good time, I just want to tell them. So. I don't know.

People are confusing.

It's this whole... Who is going to play it cool longer. And ultimately I think it just ruins it because then both of you think that the other isn't into it. Like. Wut

 

So much this.  

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Maybe I’m just jaded but it IS a game. it just is. I can’t even count how many times my girlfriends would be like “oh I’m not into him, he’s too nice” FOR REAL. THEY LOVED BEING REJECTED. They kept going back to the guys who would ignore them. I don’t know how it happened but somewhere along the line some ladies just started eating that shit up. Let’s ignore the dude who’s texting us everyday and drunk text the guy who hasn’t spoken to us in two weeks instead. Do I agree it’s fucked up? Yes. Do I think you’ll have a better outcome in the dating world if you understand this stupid game? Yes.

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Maybe I’m just jaded but it IS a game. it just is. I can’t even count how many times my girlfriends would be like “oh I’m not into him, he’s too nice” FOR REAL. THEY LOVED BEING REJECTED. They kept going back to the guys who would ignore them. I don’t know how it happened but somewhere along the line some ladies just started eating that shit up. Let’s ignore the dude who’s texting us everyday and drunk text the guy who hasn’t spoken to us in two weeks instead. Do I agree it’s fucked up? Yes. Do I think you’ll have a better outcome in the dating world if you understand this stupid game? Yes.

That's a quite cynical point of view. I really hope people won't give up being honest and genuine, because in the end there will be just hurt people.

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That's a quite cynical point of view. I really hope people won't give up being honest and genuine, because in the end there will be just hurt people.

I think as people get older, they mature out of this mindset but Madie is right, I've seen it with a lot of my girl friends too and I just can't understand why it's like this??

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Maybe I should start dating people older than me.

I try to honestly. It's just hard for me to connect with people younger than me most of the time anyways. I'm 26. So the 28-30 range is a good fit. People tend to have their shit together at least a little bit more and are over this "game" just like myself.

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Maybe I’m just jaded but it IS a game. it just is. I can’t even count how many times my girlfriends would be like “oh I’m not into him, he’s too nice” FOR REAL. THEY LOVED BEING REJECTED. They kept going back to the guys who would ignore them. I don’t know how it happened but somewhere along the line some ladies just started eating that shit up. Let’s ignore the dude who’s texting us everyday and drunk text the guy who hasn’t spoken to us in two weeks instead. Do I agree it’s fucked up? Yes. Do I think you’ll have a better outcome in the dating world if you understand this stupid game? Yes.

I've been this girl. Over it. Over these aloof, passive guys.

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I try to honestly. It's just hard for me to connect with people younger than me most of the time anyways. I'm 26. So the 28-30 range is a good fit. People tend to have their shit together at least a little bit more and are over this "game" just like myself.

 

I connect with people younger than me.  A lot of people in their 30s are boring as shit.

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That's a quite cynical point of view. I really hope people won't give up being honest and genuine, because in the end there will be just hurt people.

It may be cynical but it's also the reality of modern dating right now and it's scary. People our age are learning a whole new way to date and meet people. Dating pioneers in the tech age. It's weird! But you're right, not everyone is like what I described, thankfully. It's just better for dudes who are just getting back into the game to at least be aware of what they're up against.

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Maybe I’m just jaded but it IS a game. it just is. I can’t even count how many times my girlfriends would be like “oh I’m not into him, he’s too nice” FOR REAL. THEY LOVED BEING REJECTED. They kept going back to the guys who would ignore them. I don’t know how it happened but somewhere along the line some ladies just started eating that shit up. Let’s ignore the dude who’s texting us everyday and drunk text the guy who hasn’t spoken to us in two weeks instead. Do I agree it’s fucked up? Yes. Do I think you’ll have a better outcome in the dating world if you understand this stupid game? Yes.

 

So much this. 

 

I basically don't date, but the last time I actually had a girlfriend she definitely was this girl.  A few months in she actually told me that I was going to have to start treating her like shit some of the time or she was going to just lose interest.  That isn't me and I told her that I just couldn't be that guy.  I am what i am, and that is all that I am.  I am not going to intentionally ignore someone or try and make them feel bad.  Things didn't last past that to much.  There was other shit going on so it's not like this was the exclusive reason but it didn't help things at all.  She had a history of dating "bad boys" so I should have known better.

 

Ah well, I've since come to realize that my type of crazy makes it highly unlikely I'll find someone for me.  So I do what I always do when the odds are stacked against me, I give up.  I still dabble in the online dating but that isn't my strong suit.  I'm more of an acquired taste, pretty much every girl I've dated I knew for at least 6 months before we started dating.  Basically the goal is to just become a complete shut it with my only social interaction being the internets.

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Thought I was all about NSA fun and casual sex. Turns out, not really into it.

 

I had to lookup what NSA fun was, haha.  I'm old!  I am all for it, although I can understand that it's not for everybody.  I would also never make that a priority over a real relationship, but I don't mind it until then.

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