futures Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I can understand where you both are coming from. Assuming you've told her what you just said to us, maybe when you guys do have sex, you could reminder her why you're with her rather than with someone who looks like the women in porn? Tell her that you love this part of her body or that part, just let her know that you are with her because you love her just how she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I've read that the pill can kill your sex drive. I don't know much about it though. Glad you are being understanding and working things out with her though. She's the one you lay down next to every night, obviously you love and prefer her! It absolutely can. If that's the case, she can ask to be switched to a different pill. I was on Loestrin and it killed it for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippielauryn Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Edit: Not helpful, but true. Sounds like her hormones may be a little out of wack. Nothing a calm and reasonable discussion won't fix. Gotta find that compromise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnywreck Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Edit: Not helpful, but true. Sounds like her hormones may be a little out of wack. Nothing a calm and reasonable discussion won't fix. Gotta find that compromise. I SAID THIS RIGHT WHEN SHE ASKED. She asks me random shit, completely unprovoked sometimes, and I'm like "Are you trying to start a fight?" She's telling me right now that we're not okay, she thinks I imagine others doing things to me while she does it... It's totally irrational. I am head over heels in love with this girl (so much so that I put a ring on her finger) and this is what she thinks? It's really hard to deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnywreck Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Se wants to switch pills, but honestly it's not a big deal. Sometimes a whacking has nothing to do with sex. I look at it like a cigarette or something, have one when you're bored, stressed, or depressed. entendu 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Se wants to switch pills, but honestly it's not a big deal. Sometimes a whacking has nothing to do with sex. I look at it like a cigarette or something, have one when you're bored, stressed, or depressed. exactly... I definitely wouldn't mind if I were to walk in on my sig other doing that. join in... or just leave him be. it's nothing personal against me that I'm offended by. also, I was googling things about birth control just now, and read a bit about male birth control. I can't see a guy taking a pill every single day though. I just can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippielauryn Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I SAID THIS RIGHT WHEN SHE ASKED. She asks me random shit, completely unprovoked sometimes, and I'm like "Are you trying to start a fight?" She's telling me right now that we're not okay, she thinks I imagine others doing things to me while she does it... It's totally irrational. I am head over heels in love with this girl (so much so that I put a ring on her finger) and this is what she thinks? It's really hard to deal with. Yeah, we can be hard to deal with sometimes. We ARE crazy. Don't let anyone tell you differently, but don't call us out on it either. Honesty is the best thing you can do. Talk it all out with her and let her think about it for a day or two. Sometimes it takes awhile for couples to come to an understanding and then you both can laugh at how stupid the argument was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Se wants to switch pills... Tell her to try the Chill brand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 ooooo snap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 You put a ring on her finger without knowing if she's down with porn? Dude. Bladewillisisdead 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnywreck Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 You put a ring on her finger without knowing if she's down with porn? Dude. We had gotten into a tiff over it before, but I kinda thought it had blown over and was a "Don't ask, don't tell" kind of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 exactly... I definitely wouldn't mind if I were to walk in on my sig other doing that. join in... or just leave him be. it's nothing personal against me that I'm offended by. also, I was googling things about birth control just now, and read a bit about male birth control. I can't see a guy taking a pill every single day though. I just can't. It won't ever come to fruition... this was tried years and years ago and it never got past the trial stage because all of the test subjects complained of cramping, bloating, mood swings, weight gain, and loss of sex drive. How interesting! But I think if taking a pill every day means no babies, they may take it seriously. Especially since I've spoken to so many guys who claim women are "so stupid if they don't take the pill when their supposed to - it's their own fault they got pregnant." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Just watch a film with her, then give her a bit of the ole in-out, in-out. Problem solved. jonnywreck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Maybe ask her if she could join you in viewing sometime? I imagine she won't be down with it- but watching porn with an SO can be a lot of fun- And a great learning tool, in finding out what does and doesn't work for each person. Laugh about it together, get wicked horned up together. I found myself reading about porn quite a bit the other day, thanks to this whole Duke thing. So many different articles, echoing what I've kind of heard my whole life, love pointing the finger at porn for being unhealthy and for creating unrealistic expectations. I just believe those expectations would only arise in a very simple mind that can't distinguish hot sex from very specific fetishes. Yes, it's unhealthy and wrong to expect that delivering a pizza would turn into a sexy house wife and her teenage daughter being completely overwhelmed by the extra sausage on their pie, and then everyone goes to town. It does not seem out of line to think "man, this blow job is lackluster. Maybe if she used more spit and variation we'd get somewhere" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Jhook calling porn a film is so teenageeric circa 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipyourbartender Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 http://www.menshealth.com/health/health-and-sexual-benefits-masturbation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnywreck Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 That's what's so curious about the whole thing - she's super kinky and even suggested that watch one, only to immediately take it back. She says she'll get jealous if seeing another girl turns me on. I think she, amongst sadly many others, have been misinformed in sexual behavior and now deem this behavior as unfaithful or whatever, when really it's just a physical reaction. There's soooooo much bullshit out there on how masturbation is cheating, ruins relationships, etc... When I think it's more dangerous to suppress these urges. It all just comes down to her insecurity, I think. She apparently has gained weight, and while I always tell her I love her body and make advances on her, she says she doesn't feel good about her body and it's making her jealous that I look at others to get turned on. I feel like I'm in between a rock and hard place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 If you're masturbating than you're already going to hell for all eternity. So in the grand scheme of things this rock and/or hard place won't seem that bad. But foe real doe, if I can put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince Of Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit for a second, your description makes it seems like the jealousy is directly related to her own body issues. She should talk to someone that isn't you about that. jonnywreck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Jhook calling porn a film is so teenageeric circa 2013 Ha, I call every type of movie a film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhook Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 The myth of male masturbation needs to be broken! It's not really sexual at all. It's not cheating. It's more of an act to pass the time. jonnywreck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Hear Hear! Female orgasm is the real myth. entendu and jonnywreck 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Tell her you are partaking in Prostate Cancer prevention and be done with it. If she says no then ask why she wants you to die young. Then the tables are turned. I see no holes in this approach. jonnywreck, GradedOnACurve, lonesomexloveus and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Maybe ask her if she could join you in viewing sometime? I imagine she won't be down with it- but watching porn with an SO can be a lot of fun- And a great learning tool, in finding out what does and doesn't work for each person. Laugh about it together, get wicked horned up together. I found myself reading about porn quite a bit the other day, thanks to this whole Duke thing. So many different articles, echoing what I've kind of heard my whole life, love pointing the finger at porn for being unhealthy and for creating unrealistic expectations. I just believe those expectations would only arise in a very simple mind that can't distinguish hot sex from very specific fetishes. Yes, it's unhealthy and wrong to expect that delivering a pizza would turn into a sexy house wife and her teenage daughter being completely overwhelmed by the extra sausage on their pie, and then everyone goes to town. It does not seem out of line to think "man, this blow job is lackluster. Maybe if she used more spit and variation we'd get somewhere" I really tend to agree with everything you said. And I was introduced to porn pretty young. (Stole my older brother's VHS tapes, still remember one was called tit for tat). I was just interested in learning more about it. I think I have a very healthy view on sex in general and it didn't give me unrealistic expectations in any way. We can't take it too seriously. If anything it's just fun to watch and try new things & positions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 in college, my roommate and some of her friends would have themed porn parties. i remember they watched some pirates of the caribbean ripoff porn and everyone dressed like pirates to one of them. i never attended because it was a different group of people than i usually hung out with, but it was pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 me and my ex rented seinfeld porn from family video once. jeeeeesus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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