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CONFESSIONS


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relationships are hard

 

i apologized to my wife.  it ended well, she got what she wanted (per career).

 

tonight happens, we are getting along.  i'm enjoying NBC comedies.  9:30 happens.  she wants sexy time, i want to watch Parks and Rec season finale.  

 

i'm watching Parks and Rec, but i may have lost. 

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years ago, my friend and i were talking about tittie fucking, and declared that any girl who takes part shall be known as a tweener. cuz you put it tween her bubz.

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My girlfriend started sexy time, said she was too tired, put coitus off for tomorrow.

Friday nights I crash because I'm tired from the week.

We'll see how this goes.

 

Started sexy time, her car gets towed and puts an end to that. She calls someone to come get her and tries to initiate sexy time but I turn it down. She leaves, makes me pay the fee for towing and isn't going to speak to me again. Tonight was fun.

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did the tow truck also haul away your blue balls?

she tried to initiate sexy time while the tow truck was en route?

you turned down sexy time twice in two days?

very interesting.

I didn't turn it down. We had just gotten inside and she saw the lights for the tow truck outside and we tried to get dressed fast enough to stop them from taking it but we were too late. I guess that's what I get for not getting my parking pass back from my friend.

She did try to start it again when we got back inside and she was waiting on her friend to come pick her up and I did turn her down then because I was so pissed off.

It's all good though. She's a crazy fucking bitch. She went from wanting sex, to wanting to cuddle to standing outside alone telling me to fuck off with nothing happening in between. She's somebody else's problem now

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Boning at work is amazing. Did it a few times at an old job. Not saying which one.

 

Boning outside near a river in Hawaii was amazing. Victory skinny dip as well. One of those days I wished never ended.

 

Also I cannot stop listening to Tears For Fears - Songs From The Big Chair. I'm obsessed.

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i use to go to "beer fests".  the last one i went to, near the end i was pretty gone, but i thought buying a turkey let dipped bbq sauce sounded like a perfect idea.  i spent the final minutes of beer fest downing shots of beer while chewing on a bbq soaked turkey leg.  lets just say, ladies were NOT impressed with my bbq smeared face or my drunkeness.

 

anyway.  after it was over, me and my friends headed for a bar (of course), by this point i needed to go #2, probably because of the turkey leg.  i had to wait in line for awhile (becasue the bar was near beer fest).  so i got to know the blokes behind me in line.  

 

i was very very sorry to them when i was done.

 

dont eat turkey legs at beer fest.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I haven't been active on the site in a while and even stopped checking it too...I missed it! And missed being able to get stuff off of my chest in this thread.

 

I withdrew from 3 out of 4 of my classes this last semester and moved back to my parent's house in late-March. The only person who knows about this besides my parents is my girlfriend, even my sister doesn't know. I haven't really done anything productive in that time. I hung out with my girlfriend for a couple weeks and helped her with her homework and final projects, actually pretty much wrote an entire research paper on animal testing for her if that counts as anything. Have been entertaining the idea of working on an organic farm as there are plenty of opportunities in Michigan for that, but haven't really done anything with it even though it's something I'm really interested in. I have no idea where my life is headed. I'm probably going to go work where I did last year/summer in the distribution area of a seal manufacturer as a temp since I got offered a $2/hr raise over what I made last time, so it'll be good money again, but I dread the thought of being indoors instead of outside doing something that I know that I'll love. Plus, I talked to my old manager from the place yesterday (Monday) and have to tell him if I'm going to work there by Wednesday. On top of everything, my girlfriend who is my best friend in the whole world and the one person I NEED to talk to everyday to sort through all of the shit in my head, is in New Mexico for 2 weeks and her phone is dead/lost apparently because I haven't heard from her in 4 days at all and I'm seriously losing it because of that (i.e. insomnia, severe nightmares/night terror, depression), hence what I'm doing up at 2 am on a monday night. And my parents just left for 10 days, and one of my best friends just left for Boston for the summer, while the other lives in Grand Rapids and is getting married. And because of all of this I just feel like I'm lapsing back into the recurring depression that has always been with me throughout my life and never goes away. I've never been professionally diagnosed with it, but it's kind of one of those things where you realize there must be a chemical inbalance or something when it has happened in cycles since you were in 6th grade. This was a lot and I'm glad I don't really personally know anyone on these boards, but I wanted to put it out there.

 

tl;dr - I need to find another therapist...

 

EDIT: Wondering if this should go in the "Man Advice" thread?

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I came out as Trans to my mother on Saturday. I have her support, she just "wanted some time to be upset." She asked why she didn't tell her sooner. I barely had the courage to tell her Saturay. I can't imagein telling her when I was in fucking middle school or high school.

 

"Oh, hey, I'm going through the wrong fucking puberty, mom! What can we do about this?"

 

She also feels that my marriage is a lie now, which means she's not listening whenever I says my wife and I are staying together, and we're going to continue to raie our daughter and/or she thinks I'm doing this 'cause I'm attracted to men. I've told her the first statement (the lie statement) is categorically false, and I haven't even touched upon the second with her, but if that is going through her mind: Ick.

 

But yeah, now I need to tell my dad about this now. Jesus God...

 

Oh, and the reason I'm blabbing about all this to my parents is because I have an endocrinologist appointment on Wednesday, and may start on a hormone regimen from the appointment. But I'm probably getting my hopes up and it'll probably just be blood work orders done and shit, and I'll be even sadder about shit.

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