jerseydave77 Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Stay Strong. Lean on that awesome wife of yours and life will be better in the long term despite this period of difficulty. Pulling for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I haven't been active on the site in a while and even stopped checking it too...I missed it! And missed being able to get stuff off of my chest in this thread. I withdrew from 3 out of 4 of my classes this last semester and moved back to my parent's house in late-March. The only person who knows about this besides my parents is my girlfriend, even my sister doesn't know. I haven't really done anything productive in that time. I hung out with my girlfriend for a couple weeks and helped her with her homework and final projects, actually pretty much wrote an entire research paper on animal testing for her if that counts as anything. Have been entertaining the idea of working on an organic farm as there are plenty of opportunities in Michigan for that, but haven't really done anything with it even though it's something I'm really interested in. I have no idea where my life is headed. I'm probably going to go work where I did last year/summer in the distribution area of a seal manufacturer as a temp since I got offered a $2/hr raise over what I made last time, so it'll be good money again, but I dread the thought of being indoors instead of outside doing something that I know that I'll love. Plus, I talked to my old manager from the place yesterday (Monday) and have to tell him if I'm going to work there by Wednesday. On top of everything, my girlfriend who is my best friend in the whole world and the one person I NEED to talk to everyday to sort through all of the shit in my head, is in New Mexico for 2 weeks and her phone is dead/lost apparently because I haven't heard from her in 4 days at all and I'm seriously losing it because of that (i.e. insomnia, severe nightmares/night terror, depression), hence what I'm doing up at 2 am on a monday night. And my parents just left for 10 days, and one of my best friends just left for Boston for the summer, while the other lives in Grand Rapids and is getting married. And because of all of this I just feel like I'm lapsing back into the recurring depression that has always been with me throughout my life and never goes away. I've never been professionally diagnosed with it, but it's kind of one of those things where you realize there must be a chemical inbalance or something when it has happened in cycles since you were in 6th grade. This was a lot and I'm glad I don't really personally know anyone on these boards, but I wanted to put it out there. tl;dr - I need to find another therapist... EDIT: Wondering if this should go in the "Man Advice" thread? you came to the right place.. and welcome back. i can imagine how it probably feels like you're just getting hit with a ton of bricks right now. when it rains it pours, right? sounds like you have A LOT of alone time ahead of you. make the absolute most of it. weather permitting, go outside. ride a bike, go for a run, sit by some water or just a pretty landscape for a few hours with your headphones in. go to a movie by yourself. start a project- for me that would probably be painting or something. but maybe something around the house that's needed to get done? i'm sure your parents would love it if they unexpectedly came back to a little home improvement. get fully involved in a tv series that you've never seen before. learn a new skill. just anything that will distract from the thoughts of "where is everyone in my life?" otherwise, those thoughts will be constant, deafening, and brutal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 @idreamofpunk: FUCKING FUCK YEAH! YOU GO, GIRL! YOU GOT THIS SHIT! YEAH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smash2pieces Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 you came to the right place.. and welcome back. i can imagine how it probably feels like you're just getting hit with a ton of bricks right now. when it rains it pours, right? sounds like you have A LOT of alone time ahead of you. make the absolute most of it. weather permitting, go outside. ride a bike, go for a run, sit by some water or just a pretty landscape for a few hours with your headphones in. go to a movie by yourself. start a project- for me that would probably be painting or something. but maybe something around the house that's needed to get done? i'm sure your parents would love it if they unexpectedly came back to a little home improvement. get fully involved in a tv series that you've never seen before. learn a new skill. just anything that will distract from the thoughts of "where is everyone in my life?" otherwise, those thoughts will be constant, deafening, and brutal. Thanks for the support and the advice/suggestions Ry. It really means a lot to even get a response to that, to know that at least one person is listening, you know? It's funny that you mention the thing about something around the house needing to be done, because there is. Anyway, just want to let you know that I appreciate it...hope everything is good with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David The Gnome Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Thanks for the support and the advice/suggestions Ry. It really means a lot to even get a response to that, to know that at least one person is listening, you know? It's funny that you mention the thing about something around the house needing to be done, because there is. Anyway, just want to let you know that I appreciate it...hope everything is good with you. Ry isn't the only one listening, he's just the only one who's spoken up so far (and right on, to him, for doing so). He pretty much nailed it or I'd offer up something similar. You're definitely not alone in the recurring depression area but I don't think you necessarily thought you were. It's always an interesting time whenever you decide to acknowledge it as something more than just being "in a slump" or just generally bummed for a period of time though. Hopefully, if/when you find a new therapist, that will help a lot. I know that when I first acknowledged depression in my life and went to a therapist it really ended up being life changing. It's interesting how, as people, our thoughts and what we tell ourselves can go from being purely singular thoughts and turn into a very toxic, self-depreciating pattern. I really hope you do end up finding productive ways to spend this period of time alone and that it ends up being a positive situation in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 @idreamofpunk: FUCKING FUCK YEAH! YOU GO, GIRL! YOU GOT THIS SHIT! YEAH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Thanks for the support and the advice/suggestions Ry. It really means a lot to even get a response to that, to know that at least one person is listening, you know? It's funny that you mention the thing about something around the house needing to be done, because there is. Anyway, just want to let you know that I appreciate it...hope everything is good with you. oh, thank you for asking. because things are fantastic right now. over the weekend, i met a woman, and let me tell you this- heaven must be missing an angel. and you know what? just about a week ago i was in your shoes. i was surrounded by negative vibes stemming from a significant loss of hours at work (and subsequently money), and everything felt like it was piling on at once. car troubles. shitty weather putting me in a downright foul mood- one that made me completely botch mother's day. and for some reason really worrying about all of my exes at once- that feeling of panic that maybe i'm just a jackass who can't do anything right. the day after mother's day, i came home mad at myself, and decided it had to end. so i spent the next 2-3 hours spinning records and making my mom a card that said "happy monday. i love you. ry-guy" i hardly worked last week, and instead of being down about it, i spent every moment i could on my bike or the mountain. i managed to have another part time job fall into my lap that requires almost nothing of me, and pays extremely well. so really, smash- all i can say is that the best thing you can do is make it a point to be happy rather than worry about being down. with just a little spark in your attitude, the good comes along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 heaven must be missing an angel. hobohunter48 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 ... I'm glad you're happy and all though. Smash, you'll find what you need soon enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 w00p w00p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 just quoting my favorite tavares song is all and thanks for the gif... i'm about halfway through season 2 right now, trying to squeeze in one more time through before sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 and i just got laid off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emo Revival Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 and i just got laid off. I'm sorry dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnstiles Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 and i just got laid off.Dude that sucks, I feel you man. Sometimes when it rains it does indeed pour. But you seem to have a really good grasp on how to deal with it. Just spend more time with creative things and set aside an hour or two to tackle what has to become a new budget or time spent applying places that you would actually want to work. I know it seems like you just got everything figured out with this job and you were willing to accept the cut of your hours, this lay off is just another inconvenience. You'll get through it man. Try to make that easy part time job pay the bills for a month or so. So Applebee's Illinois which is based in Kentucky, bought out most of the Illinois Applebee's franchise and they're closing my store. I was made aware of this about a month ago and was really down about it for a couple weeks. I planned on keeping this job just for spending money while I go to graduate school (I did it, I took the plunge, with the loans, despite how much the loans were frightening me) at Loyola in Chicago. I talked to the HR guy via the phone because when they said I was going to be laid off all I got was his phone number. He said that I might have to interview for unemployment because ill be in school full time which might make me in eligible for full benefits because I won't be actively seeking work. Which is a total bummer. But I'm determined to have fun this summer with my lady friend and enjoy living with my family for what I hope is the last year I will be doing so. Even with unemployment I'd only be getting 100$ a week, but that would definitely pay my bills and help me buy a ten ride for the metra to get to school and back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 and i just got laid off. What a bummer. You'll be fine man, at least you got a nice lady to console you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Sorry to hear Ry, I know how that goes....my parents took a $45+k paycut this year :/ Thankfully (for the most part) I pay for all my bills so I do not place much of a burden on my parents when I'm home/at school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Thanks guys. This really isn't the worst thing. I still have two part time jobs, and possibly something else available to me also. The biggest thing here is that I pretty much need to go to grad school now- figuring out what for is going to be the biggest challenge. One of my best friends recently offered that I hang out with her dad- kind of in the premise of life coach. So I'm gonna need to take advantage of that and hope he can provide me some of the clarity I need. And this girl really couldn't have come around at a better time. My career just fell apart, and she's all I can think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Well, in that case, allow me to post my original response... and i just got laid off. hobohunter48 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeams Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 I haven't been active on the site in a while and even stopped checking it too...I missed it! And missed being able to get stuff off of my chest in this thread. I withdrew from 3 out of 4 of my classes this last semester and moved back to my parent's house in late-March. The only person who knows about this besides my parents is my girlfriend, even my sister doesn't know. I haven't really done anything productive in that time. I hung out with my girlfriend for a couple weeks and helped her with her homework and final projects, actually pretty much wrote an entire research paper on animal testing for her if that counts as anything. Have been entertaining the idea of working on an organic farm as there are plenty of opportunities in Michigan for that, but haven't really done anything with it even though it's something I'm really interested in. I have no idea where my life is headed. I'm probably going to go work where I did last year/summer in the distribution area of a seal manufacturer as a temp since I got offered a $2/hr raise over what I made last time, so it'll be good money again, but I dread the thought of being indoors instead of outside doing something that I know that I'll love. Plus, I talked to my old manager from the place yesterday (Monday) and have to tell him if I'm going to work there by Wednesday. On top of everything, my girlfriend who is my best friend in the whole world and the one person I NEED to talk to everyday to sort through all of the shit in my head, is in New Mexico for 2 weeks and her phone is dead/lost apparently because I haven't heard from her in 4 days at all and I'm seriously losing it because of that (i.e. insomnia, severe nightmares/night terror, depression), hence what I'm doing up at 2 am on a monday night. And my parents just left for 10 days, and one of my best friends just left for Boston for the summer, while the other lives in Grand Rapids and is getting married. And because of all of this I just feel like I'm lapsing back into the recurring depression that has always been with me throughout my life and never goes away. I've never been professionally diagnosed with it, but it's kind of one of those things where you realize there must be a chemical inbalance or something when it has happened in cycles since you were in 6th grade. This was a lot and I'm glad I don't really personally know anyone on these boards, but I wanted to put it out there. tl;dr - I need to find another therapist... EDIT: Wondering if this should go in the "Man Advice" thread? As for the girlfriend thing, do your best to leave her alone for a week. So take this time and work on you. If she sees that you're calling again, it will probably aggravate her. By the gist of your post, it seems that your are lost and overly dependent on your girlfriend. In terms of probability, a girlfriend doesn't want to be your nurse/mom/cheerer-upper. Women in general want someone with confidence and direction. You don't need to be successful at 20. But you'll have to demonstrate goal-orientated drive for success. So hopefully you called her once or twice and she hasn't returned the call cause she's busy. But if you've been calling for 4 days straight, that will come off as needy. It's her time for her trip and you need to respect that. So take advantage of this and make a plan for you. It will impress her when she gets back. JessRD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Oh, and the reason I'm blabbing about all this to my parents is because I have an endocrinologist appointment on Wednesday, and may start on a hormone regimen from the appointment. But I'm probably getting my hopes up and it'll probably just be blood work orders done and shit, and I'll be even sadder about shit. Oh, hey, guess who was essentially told they have to start all over with therapy and guess who's former endocrinologist was planning on putting me on a regimen that would have done nothing because it would've been missing a key element of it for God only knows how long? And guess who, despite giving the office contact numbers to get said records, was told the office had none of the records they needed? She has two opposable thumbs, the wrong hormones and Advice Dog as her avatar. I can't keep doing this shit. I need to just get over it and just try to be normal. Oh yeah, my wife will probably leave me because I'll continue being a waste of space. Fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
museummouth Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I have written well over 100 songs but I'm too afraid to put them out there for people to hear. I don't know if I could take criticism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steventangent Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I still play songs I wrote 10 years ago because I can't write new ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronniegwilliams Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I still play songs I wrote 10 years ago because I can't write new ones. I'm driving myself nuts right now, I haven't been able to write shit in a couple of months and I hate it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
museummouth Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 I'll join in that club. I've been on a dry writing spell for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoidantroyd Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 (edited) . Edited January 12, 2018 by paranoidantroyd Immaturity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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