piky0032 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 sig'd ‘Gut, gut, guuuut, gut meine kleine schatz, GUUUUT!’. Totally just fucked up on up votes for ya......awesome sig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 So. Update time. Just met a lady who is seriously involved in the fetish/bondage community. Im talking fire play, electro play, the list goes on and on. We talked about life, sex, aliens, and she wants a spiderman/Mary Jane voyeur role play. She might be a keeper. And she likes authentic German sausages and cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Vool Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 After I don’t know how long I get awakened from my slumber from what sounds like some obscene murmuring in german and gurgling sounds. Maybe a full 30 seconds pass while I’m still trying to understand if this is real life or a dream before I realize that this romanian cutie with a huge round ass I was eyeing all night is on her knees sweating, huffing and puffing, ‘deep throating’ this rotund elder man cock who’s sitting a few inches away from me.His flaccid deerskin does not seem erect but a couple of minutes go by before he vocally proceeds to let the whole room know he’s about to make it. ‘Gut, gut, guuuut, gut meine kleine schatz, GUUUUT!’. Transylvanian girl gets up with a mouth full, crowd is applauding and cheering. Grandpa Karl Heinz gives everyone thumbs up ‘Ja, ja! Dankeschon!’. Haha, this part is gold!!! Reminds me somehow of a creepy (somewhat similar) occasion I had a few months back: I was partying with a few friends; going to pubs, drinking to much, picking up girls (I'm in a happy relation for 5 years, so no stranger-fucking for me ), same shit different day...one of my friends owns an small, old cinema which he's currently (well, for 1.5 years now) trying to make his home. There are still some seats all over the place, but most of them have been pulled out. I only remember that we were drinking until two of my buddies picked up girls. We didn't want to end the party, so we went to my buddy's cinema place...we continued drinking, I saw them making out a bit but was so drunk that I fell asleep on the mattress which is considered to be a bed...although I was close to be coma-drunk, I had this strange smell in my nose...thought maybe someone farted and was like "whatever, sleep on you drunk bastard"...but this stink continued to stay in my nose and suddenly I heard a girl screaming...so I opened my eyes, and I swear to God I wish I had never stayed in this fucking place! What I've seen was this freaking hairy & smelly pussy like 20cm from my face while one of my buddy was giving her a real hard & fast hand...just when my brain started to solve all these different impressions this fucking bitch squirted all over the place I was trying to sleep! My other buddy, doggy-styling the other bitch 3 meters away, was just smiling and waved to me... I never thought that I'll ever wake up by the fetid smell of a disgusting pussy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 17, 2014 Share Posted June 17, 2014 I hooked up with someone the other night and I have never spanked someone so much before. I'm still pretty inexperienced when it comes to rough, bdsm type of stuff but wow it was intense. Her ass had so many hand prints on it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 what the fuuuuuuuuck so i finally decided to take a much more direct approach to trying to get laid via tinder. aka, letting them know up front, hey i'm just looking to fuck. and it's surprisingly easy this way. except i haven't actually gotten laid. because sunday night, i made plans with one girl to get together last night. only to wake up to a text saying "hey, looks like we're going to have to put those plans on hold for a week." so last night, i really got into it with another girl. texted some filthy shit for hours, even got a picture of her unbelievable ass out of it. so we planned to go grab a drink after i got out of work, and then head back to her place. except wouldn't you know it... fuckin' flo strikes again. consecutive fucking days. i'm cursed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeTerrain Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 i dont have a cool story but im just here to see if anyone has ever gotten head from a girl after they have been chewing minty gum? if you havent you're missing out. it feels like snow in august if that makes sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 what the fuuuuuuuuck so i finally decided to take a much more direct approach to trying to get laid via tinder. aka, letting them know up front, hey i'm just looking to fuck. and it's surprisingly easy this way. except i haven't actually gotten laid. because sunday night, i made plans with one girl to get together last night. only to wake up to a text saying "hey, looks like we're going to have to put those plans on hold for a week." so last night, i really got into it with another girl. texted some filthy shit for hours, even got a picture of her unbelievable ass out of it. so we planned to go grab a drink after i got out of work, and then head back to her place. except wouldn't you know it... fuckin' flo strikes again. consecutive fucking days. i'm cursed. i'm constantly being told "stood up / cancelled on last minute" so i feel your pain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 i just really don't know how to take it. because in each situation, there was some very hot conversation that lead to the arrangements. and then, "ohh sorrryyy" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Lots of my girlfriends did that when they were testing the waters of online dating. Just mess around and never actually meet the guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 why bother making plans then? like just in case they feel bored and change their mind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+hecollec+or Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 why bother making plans then? like just in case they feel bored and change their mind? Pretty much this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I seem to have so much more luck with spur of the moment plans vs. actually making them in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 I don't know, they might enjoy being wanted for that brief moment... I only met 2 people from the Internet and I ended up moving in with one so I can't really speak from direct experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 in my self-destructive way, i've completely botched one of the two opportunities going forward. why do i have to be such a jackass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+hecollec+or Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 in my self-destructive way, i've completely botched one of the two opportunities going forward. why do i have to be such a jackass? cbbrew22 and turbobrando 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Last night I was going down on my girl and I slid my finger into her as well and she whispers "you're in my head," as in "you read my mind." But I had to pause for a second because I swear I thought she said "you're in my butt." So I kind of had to do a double take at what I was doing and was just like "...what?" Then she repeated it and I understood her that time. Took everything in my power to not start busting up laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 shoulda whipped it out and put it in her head. vialister and cbbrew22 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Oh it was already out. I was too confused where to put it at that point though that I kind of just sat there and cried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Last night I was going down on my girl and I slid my finger into her as well and she whispers "you're in my head," as in "you read my mind." But I had to pause for a second because I swear I thought she said "you're in my butt." So I kind of had to do a double take at what I was doing and was just like "...what?" Then she repeated it and I understood her that time. Took everything in my power to not start busting up laughing. well your screen name is justified with this story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 I didn't truly doubt anything until then. Perhaps I shall change my name to "BeginDoubting." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I drove an hour to meet someone on Tinder and right after I picked her up I had to pee so I went to a nearby mcdonalds to pee. When I got back we started making out, which was the fastest I've ever gone from meeting someone to making out. We must have said like 5 things to each other before that. about 10 minutes later it was time to leaver that parking lot... we were gonna go bowling so I drove all the way back home to the bowling alley ( another hour drive ) and we got to the parking lot and continued to make out again. And then she asked me if I wanted a blow job and that is the fastest I've ever gone from stranger to head. I got head in the parking lot of the bowling alley and then later again that night. jtcohenour 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Vool Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I drove an hour to meet someone on Tinder and right after I picked her up I had to pee so I went to a nearby mcdonalds to pee. When I got back we started making out, which was the fastest I've ever gone from meeting someone to making out. We must have said like 5 things to each other before that. about 10 minutes later it was time to leaver that parking lot... we were gonna go bowling so I drove all the way back home to the bowling alley ( another hour drive ) and we got to the parking lot and continued to make out again. And then she asked me if I wanted a blow job and that is the fastest I've ever gone from stranger to head. I got head in the parking lot of the bowling alley and then later again that night. I'm missing an important information: Were you actually bowling between the two BJs? If so, who won? warmhouses 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
̮ ɤ ̮ Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 *blowling brandy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Yup we bowled between the two blow jobs. I was awful though, usually I average 140 and I averaged like 100 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 oh and also the night after I had plans to go to the movies with a friend ( who I've hooked up before and is realllllllllly into deep throat and spanking and what not ) so we were hooking up and I spanked her until my hand hurt (she probably won't able to sit today) and she had been drinking red wine and while she was giving me head, lets just say her reflex kicked in and for a hot moment I thought I ripped a hole into her throat with my dick but it was actually just red wine and that was the scariest, followed by funniest moment. She thought she was bleeding from her mouth too and it was too funny. and gross. ( but mostly funny ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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