CONFESSIONS

[Julie...MakeDamnSure]

1. My brother killed himself two months ago yesterday. He was my best friend, my best man and my only brother. 

2. I touched the brains that were splattered across my dad's ceiling.

3. I blame my mother and I hope she dies very shortly.

4. I am looking for any way possible to remember my brother. My wife says that I'm "chasing Logan" and I think she may be right. 

5. I'm now obsessed with suicide (not for myself, just the act, the idea, the process).

6. Records are the only thing I have that I feel connects me to my brother, and I've spent over $600 on them since he died. 

 

i am very very sorry to hear about that Dane... my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your friends and family

 

you can always send me or someone before me a PM, if you want to talk about anything.

 

-Derek

[steviex2shoes]

I agree with Ry. It doesn't seem like she just wants to leave you. I would also try couples therapy.

 

Yeah I honestly don't know what she really wants.  I'm thinking maybe I take like 2 weeks of vacation or something.  She really wants to see what life is like on her own.  She wants to be able to come home and know if she left a beer bottle on the counter she's the one who did it.  She wants to do her own laundry and no one else's.  She wants to decide if she wants to he or not.  She wants to decide if she can stay up until 3am or not.  Things like that.  She said last night her brain is never quiet, and she just needs space to quiet it down.  She feels like she's going crazy, and has said to me that she's wishes she was dead(I don't really think this is an idle threat either, which scares me a lot) but I can't really broach the subject of a psychiatrist or therapist without her getting upset.  She's already on Lexipro for anxiety/depression but I feel like she really needs to talk to someone to work things out.  I'm not a saint, but I'm also not restrictive.  Like Everything I said above she is allowed to do any of that I feel like i'm pretty easy going about stuff so if she wants to stay up until 3am or eat or not or whatever she wants to do, I'm fine with it.  I don't know I looked up counselors today, but I feel like we need to make that decision together but when i brought it up yesterday, she was just like you need to get a 6 month lease somewhere.  I don't know, I'm pretty confused right now and wish I had the solution to make it all better.  I just love her so much.

[jerseydave77]

Steve -

 

Hard stuff man, my sympathies. I can only imagine how your heart is breaking. Maybe you can parlay the counselor into a trade off for a two week vacation - you each get to test out what you each think is best. A sort of compromise to feel this all through. Moving out for six months doesn't feel right and it does sound like she is hurting. For love, it sounds to me like finding a way for her to seek a bit of professional guidance and an opinion is in everyone's best interest.

 

I hope some good news comes your way soon.

-dc

[maneatingcow]

Steve -

 

Hard stuff man, my sympathies. I can only imagine how your heart is breaking. Maybe you can parlay the counselor into a trade off for a two week vacation - you each get to test out what you each think is best. A sort of compromise to feel this all through. Moving out for six months doesn't feel right and it does sound like she is hurting. For love, it sounds to me like finding a way for her to seek a bit of professional guidance and an opinion is in everyone's best interest.

 

I hope some good news comes your way soon.

-dc

 

 

This is good advice, when I was thinking about your situation I was a bit concerned if just taking a couple week vacation and leaving her on her own for the the couple weeks was the best thing.  Especially since you brought up issues with her having suicidal thoughts.  If you offered to take the two week vacation, with the stipulation that she at least saw a counselor during that time and hopefully afterwards too, that would seem to give her freedom, but give you a bit more peace of mind she was getting some professional help.

[Emo Revival]

Yeah I honestly don't know what she really wants.  I'm thinking maybe I take like 2 weeks of vacation or something.  She really wants to see what life is like on her own.  She wants to be able to come home and know if she left a beer bottle on the counter she's the one who did it.  She wants to do her own laundry and no one else's.  She wants to decide if she wants to he or not.  She wants to decide if she can stay up until 3am or not.  Things like that.  She said last night her brain is never quiet, and she just needs space to quiet it down.  She feels like she's going crazy, and has said to me that she's wishes she was dead(I don't really think this is an idle threat either, which scares me a lot) but I can't really broach the subject of a psychiatrist or therapist without her getting upset.  She's already on Lexipro for anxiety/depression but I feel like she really needs to talk to someone to work things out.  I'm not a saint, but I'm also not restrictive.  Like Everything I said above she is allowed to do any of that I feel like i'm pretty easy going about stuff so if she wants to stay up until 3am or eat or not or whatever she wants to do, I'm fine with it.  I don't know I looked up counselors today, but I feel like we need to make that decision together but when i brought it up yesterday, she was just like you need to get a 6 month lease somewhere.  I don't know, I'm pretty confused right now and wish I had the solution to make it all better.  I just love her so much.

As someone who works in the mental health field I wanted to add my two cents. First, the statement of wanting to be dead is incredibly serious and if she were my patient she would be committed for suicidal ideation. The rest of what you describe sounds like a classic case of depression. I think counseling would be a great idea. Honestly I think that individual counseling for her as well as couples counseling for the both of you. The key with that is that it should be two different therapists to avoid any conflicts of interest. I really hope things work out for you cause you seem like a cool dude. Let me know if I can help in anyway, including recommending therapists in your area.

Mark

[rudeboydh]

 guys... I'm so goddamned drunk... sweet baby jesus...

[Green Tea Papi]

I today I realized why when ever I have money in my pocket and I'm not going to school, I almost always go the record store. It's not because I like buying records form their limited inventory and inflated prices. It's because it gives me something to do, I'm 16 years old, and I sit on my computer most weekends not because I want to, but because there's nothing to do, the suburbs fucking sucks. The people are dull and the places are duller it's a sprawl of big box stores and chain restaurants, it's too far to walk and too close for a bus. Yeah sure I could go to the movies, but that gets old, yeah sure I could walk around the mall but there's no good stores and I don't want to spend money. Besides I've done that ever since I got my first taste of freedom and nothing interesting happens at either. I don't know the suburbs fucking sucks and if I was old enough I would leave and when I am I will. Which is part of the reason I don't want to go to college, I'm fucking tired of school, and for once I want to be able to hop on trains, and buses going nowhere, wonder downtown for a couple of hours come home and do it all again after work the next day. I don't know I just wanted to say this.

[BuzzersonKillwell]

If you don't go to college you won't be able to wander downtown... It'll be miles away from your bungalow at the city limit.

[Guest]

The suburban struggle

[isavedlatin54]

I today I realized why when ever I have money in my pocket and I'm not going to school, I almost always go the record store. It's not because I like buying records form their limited inventory and inflated prices. It's because it gives me something to do, I'm 16 years old, and I sit on my computer most weekends not because I want to, but because there's nothing to do, the suburbs fucking sucks. The people are dull and the places are duller it's a sprawl of big box stores and chain restaurants, it's too far to walk and too close for a bus. Yeah sure I could go to the movies, but that gets old, yeah sure I could walk around the mall but there's no good stores and I don't want to spend money. Besides I've done that ever since I got my first taste of freedom and nothing interesting happens at either. I don't know the suburbs fucking sucks and if I was old enough I would leave and when I am I will. Which is part of the reason I don't want to go to college, I'm fucking tired of school, and for once I want to be able to hop on trains, and buses going nowhere, wonder downtown for a couple of hours come home and do it all again after work the next day. I don't know I just wanted to say this.

dont worry, you're 16......thats it, you're 16.

[Guest]

Two weeks ago, I finally started breaking bad. I'm through most of season 3 right now.

About two hours ago, my mom came in my room, had a seat on my bed, and a moment later, I became Walt jr. My dad, Walt. Her, skylar. And the guy she's leaving him for, benekee. For her sake, I hope this fuck has heated floors.

[scottheisel]

Two weeks ago, I finally started breaking bad. I'm through most of season 3 right now.

About two hours ago, my mom came in my room, had a seat on my bed, and a moment later, I became Walt jr. My dad, Walt. Her, skylar. And the guy she's leaving him for, benekee. For her sake, I hope this fuck has heated floors.

Sucks that your mom is leaving your dad, but your metaphor is a little strained, given that your dad probably isn't a murderous meth kingpin and you have the full use of your legs.

[bathroommonkey]

i watch nascar.

[BuzzersonKillwell]

...some things are better left unsaid.

[futures]

Two weeks ago, I finally started breaking bad. I'm through most of season 3 right now.

About two hours ago, my mom came in my room, had a seat on my bed, and a moment later, I became Walt jr. My dad, Walt. Her, skylar. And the guy she's leaving him for, benekee. For her sake, I hope this fuck has heated floors.

Whoa.

I don't watch Breaking Bad (yet), so your comparison is a little lost on me, but what I'm gathering is some heavy shit. Sorry that this is happening, Ry.

[whenicomearound]

i watch nascar.

I do too. I'm a diehard NASCAR fan. GO TRUEX!

[Guest]

My dad is actually the exact opposite of Walt.

2+ years ago he was laid off. It was a grueling task to find work, but eventually he found a new job this past January.

Less than a month later, and 2 days after it happened, he told us that he'd been laid off.

Skip about 4 months later, and I *kind of* understood his position. I was laid off myself, and went through a well-documented rough patch. Getting back on your feet feels impossible- how is one supposed to recover when they've been crushed so badly?

But unlike him, I got off my ass and overcame.

He just sits around every day watching the price is right and wheel of fortune and plays Tetris in the meantime.

So I can't blame her for being completely bored.


HOWEVER.


I live by a code. And that is cigarettes, cocain, cheating = never ever.

It is fucking world shattering when your own mother can't even live up to the same standards.

[Julie...MakeDamnSure]

Well...

- I have been very depressed since 2011

- I am extremely over weight

- I own over 500 TY Boos

- I left a Caspian concert because i saw one of the guys smoking.

I have never done any of the following:

- had sex

- kissed I girl

- smoked

- been out of the state of Michigan

- been on a date

- lived

[scottheisel]

This is starting to turn into the "SUICIDE NOTE" thread.

[isavedlatin54]

This is starting to turn into the "SUICIDE NOTE" thread.

ive noticed this....

 

everyone needs a hug. im volunteering my services. 

[isavedlatin54]

So I love my fiancee, dont get me wrong she's my best friend, great sex life and all that jazz. But i've noticed recently that she is becoming less and less of an adult and like, regressing back in to a 13 year old  kid. she works a normal 40 hours a week, and i work from home so im in charge of most of the cleaning and taking care of the house, which is perfectly ok with me...makes her life easier and keeps us both happy.  Any way, whenever she is home, ive notice she cant do ANYTHING for herself its gotten way beyond the standard "oh honey, can you do this for me real quick" type of stuff. a perfect example was, I was sitting on the couch watching a movie and she was making herself food and she looks at me and says " I forgot to flush the toilet, can you do it for me?" of course, as an adult i just say "no, you go flush your own shit" and i laughed a bit because I thought she was kidding, and she actually got upset with me (and still didn't flush the toilet) so that was a nice surprise 2 hours later. We also got a dog about a year ago (which I was originally against) and I love the little guy but part of the deal was, when we got him, it was a joint effort to take care of him. in the last 6 months she's probably walked him like 3 times, never feeds him ( i do, don't worry he DOES get fed) and maybe has changed his water dish 4-5 times. little dude is on a schedule, so if I DO ask her to walk him i usually get a "yea, in like 5 minutes" and then about 30 pass and i ask again and i get yelled at as if i just asked 20 seconds prior.  so i end up getting so frustrated i just do everything myself. 

 

another thing was, i stopped in at one of my favorite record store thats located in this lot with a bunch of cats that just kind of live in said lot. All the workers take turns taking care and feeding these cats, so they are all healthy and spayed they just happen to live outside in this little lot of stores. so I was checking out and my lady comes in while I'm talking to one of the clerks that works there, a person whom I chat with on a regular basis. My lady proceeds to sort of interrupt us and go "all those cats outside are fucking gross" the conversation immediately stops and the clerk just shoots me (and her) this look kind of like, hey fuck you, we all love those guys. 

so on the way back to the car i try to explain to my lady that you cant just say whatever you want, because lets face it, you never know who you are going to piss off or offend. this statement naturally turned in to her being like "I can say whatever I want" and "you made me feel like a jerk" blah blah.

 

basically what im saying is, she lived a fairly sheltered youth and her mom didn't teach her much in the way of social skills and its REALLY starting to show. and no matter how much I try to teach her in the nicest way possible she gets INSANELY defensive and just starts throwing insults at me, or telling me things that I did wrong like 4 months ago that she just held inside. 

 

its not that I don't want to marry her, because she's a wonderful person but on those occasions like the ones i explain, it just boggles my mind that a person can know so little about how to conduct themselves as a grown adult.

 

Im also pretty sure I can NEVER go back to that record shop.

 

not much in the way of a confession but it needed to be said. 

[bigbruise]

Eh, as hard as it may be, I'd probably be looking for an exit. That's some ignorant shit right there. Leaving your poop in a toilet for a few hours? Get the fuck outta here. 

 

 

Edit...i realize that my comment is pretty cliche for these parts, "leave her" seems to be common and quick advice. Thats not my advice, just my general comment. Also, how old is she? I'm imagining a teenage girl.

[isavedlatin54]

Eh, as hard as it may be, I'd probably be looking for an exit. That's some ignorant shit right there. Leaving your poop in a toilet for a few hours? Get the fuck outta here. 

 

 

Edit...i realize that my comment is pretty cliche for these parts, "leave her" seems to be common and quick advice. Thats not my advice, just my general comment. Also, how old is she? I'm imagining a teenage girl.

shes a bit younger than me... she's 22 (im 26) i was kind of an ignorant jerk at 22. thats why im not like being an HUGE asshole about it.  and she has gotten WAY better since we first met, and she took a huge leap by moving 2000 miles away from our home state with me.  shes a sweet person, and does do a lot for me in other ways. but when it comes to just taking pride in her home and just being a self sufficient person, its just not there. Like, i have to remind her to pay her student loans and to do things that would come naturally to me or you. and I honestly love her mother but that woman did not prepare her for ANYTHING that life was going to throw at her. so that job fell on me haha. her mother has terrible credit, doesn't pay her bills on time and in general is just a person that hid her daughter from the "bad things" in life.  

 

if my lady was just an ignorant bitch, i wouldn't be marrying her. she literally was just never taught the things you or I were on how to function in a normal society.  and there is just a huge weight on my shoulders because i shouldn't have to be teaching her these things. 

 

like if i got in trouble, my parents were like "fuck man, dont be an idiot." kind of the you commit the crime, you do the time type of thing. her mom was like "my daughter couldn't have possibly done that" and fought all of her battles for her.   when I hear bailey (my girl) say "thats not fair" i just think "thats fucking life" if life wa sfair id have two REAL legs and the ability to hold down a 9-5 without fucking my body up.  maybe im just jaded and she has a better outlook and still has faith in people...hmm. 

[Guest]

shes a bit younger than me... she's 22 (im 26) i was kind of an ignorant jerk at 22. thats why im not like being an HUGE asshole about it.  and she has gotten WAY better since we first me, and she took a huge leap by moving 2000 miles away from our home state with me.  shes a sweet person, and does do a lot for me in other ways. but when it comes to just taking pride in her home and just being a self sufficient person, its just not there. Like, i have to remind her to pay her student loans and to do things that would come naturally to me or you. and I honestly love her mother but that woman did not prepare her for ANYTHING that life was going to throw at her. so that job fell on me haha. her mother has terrible credit, doesn't pay her bills on time and in general is just a person that hid her daughter from the "bad things" in life.  

 

if my lady was just an ignorant bitch, i wouldn't be marrying her. she literally was just never taught the things you or I were on how to function in a normal society.  and there is just a huge weight on my shoulders because i shouldn't have to be teaching her these things. 

 

like if i got in trouble, my parents were like "fuck man, dont be an idiot." kind of the you commit the crime, you do the time type of thing. her mom was like "my daughter couldn't have possibly done that" and fought all of her battles for her.   when I hear bailey (my girl) say "thats not fair" i just think "thats fucking life" if life wa sfair id have two REAL legs and the ability to hold down a 9-5 without fucking my body up.  maybe im just jaded and she has a better outlook and still has faith in people...hmm. 

 

 

oh man, i've been there. except that ex is a year older than me. so while she was completely irresponsible about things, i stlll hadn't quite learned better myself. but i can absolutely relate to the mother part of it.

[BuzzersonKillwell]

You gotta lose that weight Moo. You'll feel better and be way happier!

I know you probably know that, but do it.