74R Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 This is kind of a long story but I think it's pretty amazing & have been meaning to share it for awhile now. Every detail in this story is true. I have not changed the names of the people involved because no one is innocent. Any way, here goes: It's hard to believe you can lose the love of your life over a silly record but that's exactly what happened. Light In The Attic records lead me to believe I ordered a black vinyl version of a Lewis record when I knew I had ordered pink. I only wish this were as insignificant as it sounds. A month or so later I realized it was their fault & not mine & emailed them this message to let them know the pain their mistake caused me: Dear my ex-favorite label, I wrote you awhile ago because I received a black vinyl Lewis Romantic Times record but was convinced I had ordered pink. You managed to point out to me that my receipt showed that I did not order the pink version. While perusing your website today, I see that you still have the pink option available to order despite it being listed as sold out at the bottom of the record's description. This helped ease the pain of my broken heart when I was unable to give the love of my life his favorite record on pink vinyl for Valentine's day. All this time I had blamed myself but I should have been blaming you. I hope you're happy. Gary has left me and taken the dog with him. I know you can't bring Gary back but I had to email you. If, for no other reason, than to give you a chance to fix this error on your website and prevent another poor soul from suffering as I have. I feel as if my heart has been torn out of my chest, dipped in sulfuric acid and fisted by satan himself. Like a testicle without a sack, I am hanging on by only a thread. Just dangling. My only hope is to hold on long enough for my WHITE vinyl copy of Songs From Suicide Bridge to show up so I have something pretty to listen to while I off myself. Unless you lied to me about that too!!! Unkind regards, x ∞ Alone & miserable, I eventually learned to move on from this tragic incident. Several weeks later & quite unexpectedly, I received a large package in the mail. While I have accepted many large packages in the past, this one contained the greatest surprise I have ever received. Inside the box was advanced copies of the Songs From Suicide Bridge LP, a handwritten letter, a Light In The Attic bandana, patch & best of all, a pink vinyl copy of the Lewis record!!! Here's the letter they sent me: Armed with this new evidence, I booked a flight to Puerto Rico where Gary was on vacation with my ex-hairstylist & dog kidnapping co-hort Phuong aka bitch master flex & confronted them. Needless to say, Gary forgave me & we got engaged right then & there! FIREWORKS!! Of course I had to thank LITA for reuniting me with Gary so I sent them a picture of the two of us lovebirds with a letter of thanks written on the back of the photo: And that's our story! I hope you enjoyed it. I also wanted to say that everyone should support Light In The Attic Records because they truly are amazing! Thanks for reading! TOODLES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Fuck off Tommy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74R Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 6 minutes ago, tellallyourfriends said: Fuck off You Trump fans sure are mean!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 So Gary left you for whatever reason (maybe because you got him a black record) but now is engaged to you because you managed to get him a pink record? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooks Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Dumbest fucking try hard post on VC. Quite an accomplishment. KingTacoMunster, Peateargriffin, Tommy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MayCauseDeath Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 This is stupid, not funny in any way and was extremely forced. Peateargriffin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheriver Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Uhhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Vool Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 4 hours ago, jacobraccuia said: So Gary left you for whatever reason (maybe because you got him a black record) but now is engaged to you because you managed to get him a pink record? Yes, isn't that lovely? That "pink" is the reason for engagement is the greatest pun in this context! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 6 hours ago, 74R said: You Trump fans sure are mean!! Submit this story along with the adoption paperwork. It should help you get blacklisted. And when they reject you again call them "trump supporters." Tommy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stress On The Sky Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I can't help but feel like the real reasons behind the break up and make up didn't quite make it into this story or I at least hope that's the case. I mean if it really was all about a record not being the right colour then I have no idea why you would want to share your flimsy relationship for online scrutiny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 https://www.discogs.com/sell/release/6383458?ev=rb couldnt cough up $15? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 What the fuck kind of non sense is this. Take it to Tumblr. KingTacoMunster 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74R Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 Wow. You guys can't tell this story is a joke? Sorry I thought you would find it funny. I sent a ridiculously over the top email to a record label to let them know of an error on their webpage and they played along and sent me a record and some extras. Then, as a thank you, I sent them a photo and thank you note. I would like to think that the person working for the record label found this to be funny and was entertained by it. I'm sure they receive a ton of bitchy nitpicky complaints from overly sensitive record collectors all day long and thought they'd appreciate something different. Lighten up people. Water Bottle, chiefwahoo, jentenenbaum and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooks Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 cringe worthy. Dominic_, Tommy and Stress On The Sky 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futures Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 10 minutes ago, 74R said: Wow. You guys can't tell this story is a joke? Sorry I thought you would find it funny. I sent a ridiculously over the top email to a record label to let them know of an error on their webpage and they played along and sent me a record and some extras. Then, as a thank you, I sent them a photo and thank you note. I would like to think that the person working for the record label found this to be funny and was entertained by it. I'm sure they receive a ton of bitchy nitpicky complaints from overly sensitive record collectors all day long and thought they'd appreciate something different. Lighten up people. this is exactly how I read it, haha. save for the slight suicide comment, I thought it was a fun read. the label playing along was great. yall gotta loosen up a bit lol chiefwahoo and Water Bottle 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74R Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 16 minutes ago, rooks said: cringe worthy. No more cringe worthy than claiming to be from "a screaming comes across the sky." So edgy! kjkenney 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooks Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Just now, 74R said: No more cringe worthy than claiming to be from "a screaming comes across the sky." So edgy! It's the first line of Gravity's Rainbow. It doesn't have too many pictures, so I can understand your confusion. KingTacoMunster and Stress On The Sky 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Water Bottle Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 47 minutes ago, 74R said: Wow. You guys can't tell this story is a joke? Sorry I thought you would find it funny. I sent a ridiculously over the top email to a record label to let them know of an error on their webpage and they played along and sent me a record and some extras. Then, as a thank you, I sent them a photo and thank you note. I would like to think that the person working for the record label found this to be funny and was entertained by it. I'm sure they receive a ton of bitchy nitpicky complaints from overly sensitive record collectors all day long and thought they'd appreciate something different. Lighten up people. well the issue is that this forum is full of those bitchy nitpicky complainers tbh Satan and 74R 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74R Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 4 minutes ago, rooks said: It's the first line of Gravity's Rainbow. It doesn't have too many pictures, so I can understand your confusion. Yeah man. I totally get it. You used a quote from a book as your location. You put the pro in profound. Water Bottle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooks Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 1 minute ago, 74R said: Yeah man. I totally get it. You used a quote from a book as your location. You put the pro in profound. Thanks! Stress On The Sky 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stress On The Sky Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanRees Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Why did I just read this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 1 hour ago, 74R said: Wow. You guys can't tell this story is a joke? Sorry I thought you would find it funny. I sent a ridiculously over the top email to a record label to let them know of an error on their webpage and they played along and sent me a record and some extras. Then, as a thank you, I sent them a photo and thank you note. I would like to think that the person working for the record label found this to be funny and was entertained by it. I'm sure they receive a ton of bitchy nitpicky complaints from overly sensitive record collectors all day long and thought they'd appreciate something different. Lighten up people. A lie is not a twist. You said every detail is true, why would I think it was a joke? I am missing the part where the label was funny. Plus suicide and international adoption aren't really laughing matters. KingTacoMunster, The Vool, Sad Heart and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Hundred Fifty-Two Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 At least have the decency to send back the black copy that you conned the label out of. THE_James_Champ, OrangeJoe and Peateargriffin 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74R Posted August 12, 2016 Author Share Posted August 12, 2016 11 minutes ago, tellallyourfriends said: At least have the decency to send back the black copy that you conned the label out of. A common trait among stupid people is to assume others are as stupid as they are. I'm pretty sure the label realized my email wasn't serious. I'm sorry you couldn't figure that out. I didn't mean to toy with your emotions. Water Bottle 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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