icecream Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yeah I know siqu thread brah! the other day i remember someone saying something about how they had more confidence if they were fucked up to hit on a women or whatever. but it made me realize the other day since I've gotten out of an almost 5 year relationship after 6 months now how sad,dull,trite, and boring my conversation has become on trying to get to know women. how do you fellow nerds & i assume hermits pick up on women without being so subtle on what you want to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 well, that depends. is this thread about getting laid or starting a conversation with someone who is interesting and could potentially be a friend (who happens to be a cute girl/guy/whatever)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 really i suppose both i mean just like some people i wouldn't mind a random piece of ass here & there but i'm not a god damn revolving cock machine either. most of my friends go after straight sluts and i'm not really like that so I can't even really pick up some game and then turn it into my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 edit: wow that 2'nd post sounds kind of ambiguous for the record it's women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4m35 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 just be genuinely interested in the other person and their life. smile. don't be the first to break eye contact. know when to back off. try and fail. try and fail again. succeed. how i imagine picking up girls to get laid would have to be: you'll need to establish physical contact after talking for a while. it needs to be natural, harmless and friendly. not copping a feel or any remote semblance of that. if there is chemistry, tension will build. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 right. thanks i needed something level headed and concise like this it's re-assuring as these thoughts are quite similar to mine. I suppose it's just getting back in the groove of it (lame thats what she said joke) and getting comfortable with it and just being much more outgoing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 right. thanks i needed something level headed and concise like this it's re-assuring as these thoughts are quite similar to mine. I suppose it's just getting back in the groove of it (lame thats what she said joke) and getting comfortable with it and just being much more outgoing. Dude, I'm telling you it's jobs. First you gotta have a job. Then you get the khakis. Then you get the chicks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imaxcowboyx Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 right. thanks i needed something level headed and concise like this it's re-assuring as these thoughts are quite similar to mine. I suppose it's just getting back in the groove of it (lame thats what she said joke) and getting comfortable with it and just being much more outgoing. Dude, I'm telling you it's jobs. First you gotta have a job. Then you get the khakis. Then you get the chicks. bahaha, +1 I hear icecream's goin out with.....SQUEAK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuzzersonKillwell Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Picking up women ain't much different from anything else. Just remember to lift with the legs and you'll fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flood Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 hey baby i own a record label, wanna wrassle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motorbike Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 dress nice, brush your teeth, have confidence, and a couple of shots couldnt hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boojie Horsie Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Yeah I know siqu thread brah! the other day i remember someone saying something about how they had more confidence if they were fucked up to hit on a women or whatever. but it made me realize the other day since I've gotten out of an almost 5 year relationship after 6 months now how sad,dull,trite, and boring my conversation has become on trying to get to know women. how do you fellow nerds & i assume hermits pick up on women without being so subtle on what you want to say. why dont you talk to them about how boring it is to get to know them? if you truly feel like this and its not just a facade for failures you probably should stay alone for a little longer, at least until you have a better outlook on things. its not boring to go outside and meet new people. some of them suck but you can always make fun of them and double the fun. Perhaps youve grown into an old soul and want exactly what you had 6 months ago. While your match exists, it doesnt go out or meet new people so be ready to wait a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GradedOnACurve Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 hey now miss can I buy you a drink?! GOO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 why dont you talk to them about how boring it is to get to know them? if you truly feel like this and its not just a facade for failures you probably should stay alone for a little longer, at least until you have a better outlook on things. its not boring to go outside and meet new people. some of them suck but you can always make fun of them and double the fun. Perhaps you've grown into an old soul and want exactly what you had 6 months ago. While your match exists, it doesn't go out or meet new people so be ready to wait a little. well it's more my conversation that i'm bored with (essentially my creativity) and yeah those were my thoughts as well but I like getting out & meeting new people my friends are just loafs & never want to do anything I can't solo it all the time. it takes the edge off to have a wingman. Regrettably and unfortunately I had found myself too comfortable in my old relationship whilst knowing for a while I wasn't entirely sure i wanted to be with her. it was a long distance relationship so we had the weekends and that's it and her school work was first priority so i never wanted to ruin the small amount of time we had. a learning experience for sure but deep down I think I knew i wanted out and a different women with more admirable qualities. I felt like such a piece of shit for stringing it along but the way she dumped me I didn't have as much remorse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 do you like seafood? cause i've got crabs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 you remind me of my big toe im probably gonna slam you on the coffee table later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hudsoncomplex Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 My wife and I have been together about 5 years now. We're the same age, grew up in the same small(ish) town, hung around a lot of the same people and were into similar things (music, art). We never mangaed to cross paths, although I did know her sister. I first saw her at one of the last Choke shows, and thought she was cute. I was HAMMERED, ands she later told me that if I would have approached her while I was drunk that night, she would have never even talked to me. Instead, I tracked her down through Myspace, and the rest is history. I think I took the lame way out, but it seemed to work out fine. Now that I'm married, I seem to get hit on more, but I just flash my wedding ring and girls seem to get the picture that I'm not interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
appletree Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 i just dont talk to girls, or anyone for that matter. i have never been nor will ever be social. when my girlfriend of 4 years left me i basically just turned more into a hermit and introvert. i never went out or met anyone in all of houston once i graduated and found a job. pretty much just spent money and played video games, buying majority of stuff online. over a year ago a girl was real talkative to me at a restaurant she worked at and we have been dating since but she pretty much started dating me and not the other way around. as far as talking to people and knowing what to say i guess now i feel shitty because i can not provide much advice. something someone told me was to make sure i dont bring up my ex girlfriend lol. i generally am very funny and do have a talkative humorous side. i have always just been a nice guy type of person, which once in a relationship seems to work well but attempting to find a relationship usually is crippled by the fact i would not be able to fight for em or drive a harley over any opposition. as far as women and relationships i think it is best to have a lot of similarities. maybe that is why online dating has worked for a lot of people, i have never tried and probably never would, but yeah. i think if you are gonna spend a lot of time with someone why not spend it doing things you both enjoy. that is how two people bond and laugh and work as a team to do shit. of course everyone needs their own little world and hobbies but i still feel it is best to find those similarities in both day to day activities and lifestyle and beliefs. if she is really christian and you the opposite it may be ok at first but eventually those key differences fester and grow, especially if never discussed or whatnot. people may "change" or bend or mold temporarily but as time goes on a lot of people snap back to who they really are. i think it would be best in life to find someone that loves and totally digs the true self of both people, otherwise it is just attempting to bite ones lip while containing feelings and bottling up shit inside. best of luck, sorry i was probably not a drop of help. to be honest i skimmed majority of the thread cause i should get back outside to ze rig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somethingvinyl Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Though I'm in a relationship now and have been for nearly 2 years, I always found attractive women intimidating. Not because I just want to bang, but because it has been ingrained in me that they're looking for a comparable suitor. I never had enough self-esteem to think that could be me. Now, when I talk to women, my first thought isn't "bang" so I come off a lot more confident and less interested and you wouldn't believe how that combination affects ladies. I have put myself in the position of getting more tail now (which I don't because I'm committed to my girl), because I'm casual and confident. I just talk and be myself. But still, the thought has crossed my mind when we've been on the verge of breaking up or having a real tough go of it. I guess there's just a balance to being open but somewhat uninterested. Also, just don't be desperate. Apparently, we give off an odor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonesomexloveus Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 whatever you do, i repeat, whatever you do: do not try to change yourself and pretend to be what you think any girl wants. if she says her favorite band is creed and she can't get enough of scott stapp, don't agree with her just so she will like you more. if she says she's straight edge, don't pretend you don't drink and get high all the time if you actually do. unless you just want to get laid and never see her again. online dating actually makes things a little easier, especially if you don't like going out. set your standards high and don't settle, though. people on dating sites used to get really angry with me because there were several things i would list that i absolutely cannot tolerate in guys: 1. if you don't agree with gay marriage 2. if you're hardline conservative 3. if you're really, really christian/talk about jesus a lot 4. smoking/drinking a lot i used to get the 'but you don't even know me, bitch. we could be AWESOME together!' yeah, but no. if you're any of the things mentioned above, it would never work out with us. ever. i'm way too opinionated. so more or less, what austin said at the end of that long paragraph. oh, and if you do the online dating thing, when you send a lady a message, make sure you read her whole profile and comment on one of her favorite bands, or some other common interest. not just a 'hey ur cute, luv ur profile pic!'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I asked my wife if she had any advice, and she just said to "get off VC, for starters." I don't know what that says about ME, but hey... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Just look for the lone fat girl, it's a guarantee she will have 2-3 moderately or hot girls come back within 10mins of either group bathroom trips or smoking. It's a rule. Another great place for chicks are drag shows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I had the same confidence problem before I met my now wife. I basically got over it by making a goal to force myself to strike up a conversation with 1 person whenever I went out (bar, concert, airport, whatever) It really helped, I learned how to pick up things to quickly talk about (That's a nice tatoo, who did it, What band are you here to see, visiting family or friends, etc.) If they weren't interested I'd move on and not think about it because I was too happy that I had the balls to just strike up the conversation. Try to challenge yourself to not ask the same cliched questions, Why are you here, Can I buy you a drink, what's your sign, etc). It also helps in other aspects of life too, like work. I think idreamofpunk's wife has it right, Step 1, get off the damn internet. Good luck man, I'm sure you'll get back into it soon enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I had the same confidence problem before I met my now wife. I basically got over it by making a goal to force myself to strike up a conversation with 1 person whenever I went out (bar, concert, airport, whatever) It really helped, I learned how to pick up things to quickly talk about (That's a nice tatoo, who did it, What band are you here to see, visiting family or friends, etc.) If they weren't interested I'd move on and not think about it because I was too happy that I had the balls to just strike up the conversation. Try to challenge yourself to not ask the same cliched questions, Why are you here, Can I buy you a drink, what's your sign, etc). It also helps in other aspects of life too, like work. I think idreamofpunk's wife has it right, Step 1, get off the damn internet. Good luck man, I'm sure you'll get back into it soon enough. I've giving you a +1 because thats legit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think idreamofpunk's wife has it right, Step 1, get off the damn internet. It worked for us! We met because we both crawled out of our respective caves and ended up sitting next to each other at a play a mutual friend was the student director for. The group I was to meet up with called me right after I bought my ticket to say they decided to do something else. Wes, our friend told her to sit by me because she wasn't sure where to go, and we started talking. Went out on a date the next night. Still stuck with her 9 years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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