Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I definitely lost interest. This whole thing made me realize i have feelings for someone else... when I was with him, I was thinking about that other person. That's not fair to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlthebleeding Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 damn madie, need to stop going out with guys who are full of themselves.... you need a lloyd dobler (say anything), not a Brock Hudson (she's all that). David The Gnome 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3arl Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I definitely lost interest. This whole thing made me realize i have feelings for someone else... when I was with him, I was thinking about that other person. That's not fair to anyone. I also find myself thinking about Ry when I'm with a girl. nobodybrokeurheart, almightyseancore and hobohunter48 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I think he shaved his beard... Ry is dead to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 i have so much personal material for this thread from the past few days, but i am far too ashamed to share quite yet. i know exactly what i'm doing wrong, it's just a matter of self control, of which i have none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 What's going on Sean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggle Von Swift Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 It's been a rough go as of late, my confidence is down, which hurts. Need to force myself out of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 ever since i got back from my NY trip, i've put literally zero effort into hanging out with any girl. it's been nice. although, i have managed to develop a crush on a girl that i ~know, and sadly, it's happened entirely through instagram. let me just break it down real quick... she's a good looking blonde who constantly posts pictures of herself doing ridiculous yoga positions, usually while hiking. she loves the beatles, and seems to have a decent record collection. we met once and have a ton of mutual friends. would it be totally weird if i messaged her asking if she'd like to join me for a hike? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohdoiloveyou Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 just do it, ya pansy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jase Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 ever since i got back from my NY trip, i've put literally zero effort into hanging out with any girl. it's been nice. although, i have managed to develop a crush on a girl that i ~know, and sadly, it's happened entirely through instagram. let me just break it down real quick... she's a good looking blonde who constantly posts pictures of herself doing ridiculous yoga positions, usually while hiking. she loves the beatles, and seems to have a decent record collection. we met once and have a ton of mutual friends. would it be totally weird if i messaged her asking if she'd like to join me for a hike? Perfectly above board. Just make sure a couple of your mutual friends are on the level and won't say dumb shit about you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saxonviolons Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I dunno Ry, seems like a pussy move to ask a message board. You prolly just aren't good enough for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Honestly, my biggest hesitation is her brother. Not because I'm scared of him by any means, but he's the douchebag frontman for western mass' biggest band. I can just imagine hanging out and being like "yeah, I totally hate your bro" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 What's going on Sean another day, a bit more sober. ok. lets do this. STILL begging for the wife back. it's been...4 months now since she left me for him? started seeing someone else, broke up with her because i'm still pathetically desperate for my wife. new girl keeps coming around, keeps getting mad, keeps getting hurt, cos i don't do anything except drink and cry all day. don't clean the house, do dishes/take out trash maybe once a week. spend all my money on booze and cigarettes. barely take care of my children. blow up wifes phone all day, constantly, threaten suicide. don't want to wake up another day knowing she's gone, knowing she's with him. more drinking. etc. me. irl. i know it's pathetic, i know i should 'stop', i know exactly what everyones going to say. but the fact is i am completely out of control, and pretty sure i'm falling towards that thing they call 'crazy'. me. yeah. she keeps saying she's 'never' coming back. that she will 'never' be attracted to me. that our family will 'never' be together. i fucking hate that word. the only thing that keeps me going is hoping that the next day i wake up, she'll change her mind. that is literally all i have. i know people will be like 'but your kids', but no, not really. i love the shit out of my kids, but every time i look at them i just see her. i feel incomplete without her. i see no reason to go on. i'm not a good person. i'm too fucking miserable all day, and probably always will be unless she magically decides to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottheisel Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Hey Sean: Turn your fucking computer off, take care of your children and get your life together. I know that isn't a pleasant thing to read, but you need to anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Turn your fucking computer off this wouldn't make a difference. as far as taking care of them, i do the bare minimum. they are fed, clothed, clean, and happy. but it's nothing to the extent of the father i used to be. i have absolutely no motivation. this is the worst depression of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emo Revival Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 this wouldn't make a difference. as far as taking care of them, i do the bare minimum. they are fed, clothed, clean, and happy. but it's nothing to the extent of the father i used to be. i have absolutely no motivation. this is the worst depression of my life. http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/state/MO/Saint+Louis.html Contact one of those people and get some help. Being depressed and around your children can have a terrible effect on them. Get yourself some help and get better, you're doing no one any good in your current condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 i’m not going to try to say anything you don’t already know. it seems like you’re aware of how bad things have gotten. Although I do feel terrible for your kids. it’s only a matter of time before someone calls CPS on you/your wife.you remind me of how my ex was after we broke up. he’d call me and sob for hours in the middle of the night. he had moved to a different state and didn’t know anyone. He wanted to kill himself, kill me, kill my family, kill any guy I was hanging out with. All that stuff he threatened just pushed me farther away.I sincerely hope things start looking up for you sean. although we’re all just part of some random message board, we’re here for ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 yeah, that's why i didn't want to share. i know exactly how bad it is. like i said, it's a matter of self control, and when you feel this worthless, it's hard to even have that. i've never threatened to kill anyone else tho. never been violent towards anyone except myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 how is your wife handling all of this? does she ignore you, or does she provoke you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I want to say it's going to be as easy as Scott's instructions, but it's probably not. Nothing is going to change until you deal with your addiction/alcoholism, man. Don't you see a correspondence between when you drink and how you are drawn to her? It just seemed like when you were sober a couple months back you were doing so much better... I would say take care of that issue first and then try to examine why you are attracted to someone who is completely unavailable physically/emotionally toward you. I want to urge you to check out an AA meeting and get yourself a sponsor and involved with the program but I know someone as deep in the disease as you are it will probably fall upon deaf ears. But I would implore you to do it for your kids man, as trite and cliche as it sounds. EVERYTHING looks different through a sober lens. Best of luck, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 i tend to feel it more/act worse when sober, hence the drinking. i'm not more drawn to her when i drink. i'm numb and i forget. it's when i sober up that i start flipping out and being desperate again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Well, even despite that, you have admitted that you are in a depression and its really difficult/impossible to treat that (from a clinical standpoint) before treating the addiction. The reason you start to flip out when you're sober is the lack of a support system in your life. And no, family does not count, especially if theyve enabled you to go this far down the rabbit hole. I'm not sure how willing you are to get better but it seems like you are somewhat content in your misery the way you talk about it very matter-of-fact in a way... Once again I would urge you to just go to an AA meeting (how about the old adage, "you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!") to start your healing / recovery process. But that only applies if you really want to get over this and better yourself. I really want the best for you man, and I hope it works out. Ill shut up now in fear some/most of what I'm saying will be taken the wrong way and cause offense. I'm sorry in advance if it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3arl Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I know at one point you were thinking of moving in with some family members in a different state. Is that still an option for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maneatingcow Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I've got no advice I can offer you. I would like to echo the sentiments brought up by others though. I hope that you can put your ego aside and just go and get help from a professional. A therapist could probably help you work some of the issues you have. I wish you the best in getting your life stabilized again. Your daughters need you to get yourself right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Ill shut up now in fear some/most of what I'm saying will be taken the wrong way and cause offense. nah, i'm good with criticism, and advice. i've tried pretty much everything mentioned here, i always get better for a short time then fall right back into it. i refuse therapy because i'm stubborn like that. i did a lot of it in the past and it's never helped. was always a big waste of money. therapy won't help when i truly understand my mistakes and the problem at hand. again, it's all a matter of self control. i'm not exactly asking for advice or help here, just blabbering about my problems. i know whats wrong, i know what i SHOULD do. it's just a matter of doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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