CONFESSIONS

[laralaurent]

I feel like I'm unable to create anything.

 

 

i sometimes (often) feel like this.

[Guest]

I'm really just creatively bankrupt.

 

i understand. like, yeah i can draw well, but everything i do is just a recreation of something. nothing that hits the paper is ever entirely original.

[distinctlydustin]

I sometimes wish I was a living alone.

[somethingvinyl]

I sometimes wish I was a living alone.

 

Once a week thought for me.

[noalarmplanet]

I sometimes wish I was a living alone.

 

 

Once a week thought for me.

 

I live alone and it's not all it's cracked up to be, It's nice sometimes but it can be incredibly lonely. It's made my depression worse.  

[Emo Revival]

I sometimes wish I was a living alone.

I sometimes think this, mostly during fights with the wife, but she's been gone for a few days for her cousins wedding in Texas, so it's just me and the dogs. It's quite the bummer coming home to a big house with no one to talk to, I'm starting to get super lonely

[codeine]

I pick my nose.  Nothin' like diggin' a big boogie out, all in one piece.

[somethingvinyl]

I live alone and it's not all it's cracked up to be, It's nice sometimes but it can be incredibly lonely. It's made my depression worse.  

I did before I was in a relationship. I think I know the problem, for me anyway.

[noalarmplanet]

I did before I was in a relationship. I think I know the problem, for me anyway.

My work made us take a mandatory week off. I had nothing planned as it was short notice and I its been a huge battle to even get basic shit done, I really thought I could beat this shit back. Im dulling the pain with Seinfeld. 

[cbbrew22]

Im dulling the pain with Seinfeld.

There's no better way.

[Satan]

I live alone and it's not all it's cracked up to be, It's nice sometimes but it can be incredibly lonely. It's made my depression worse.  

 

the upside to this is as soon as you get home, you can take off those pants and crack a beer.  no one will ever judge you again.

only my cats judge me and i tell them to fuck off!

[tarzioo_]

I hate living alone. I get scared a lot and my dachshund isn't a great guard dog but she is good to have around to hear outside noises and alert me. Someone tried to break in a few years ago and I've been terrified ever since.

[Guest]

the upside to this is as soon as you get home, you can take off those pants and crack a beer. no one will ever judge you again.

only my cats judge me and i tell them to fuck off!

I do this even though I live with someone, who cares, take me as I am haha. when I had girl roommates we were all awful, we were so comfortable with each other it was disgusting, I think the lack of judgement in our friendship actually caused us all to do a lot of stupid shit haha.

[somethingvinyl]

I have a 3 year old and a girlfriend. We've been living together for 4.5 years. I need a break. 

[edgedestroys]

A friend I met earlier this year through another friend was randomly like "hey I'm giving people tarot card readings, want one?" on skype tonight and I was like man I dunno about that shit but lol I'm bored sure why not and he ended up drawing a bunch of stuff that was frighteningly accurate. Basically he drew cards that said "you're way artistic, charismatic and intuitive as heck but you're also a stubborn idiot and ignore the signs the universe gives you then throw a tantrum and get upset when things don't go your way even though you were given signs that said they wouldn't. Also you have hella anxiety and worry way too much but you haven't always been like that? You've recently reverted to having a lot of self doubt and lack of focus. The biggest factor effecting you right now is having a stringent demand for structure and sense, if things aren't laid out for you or make perfect sense you get frustrated and sad. Basically you're hardwired to fuck yourself up. You're in-tune with realizing shit but choose to ignore it, you try to fight the world then realize you're only fighting yourself and right now you're your own worst enemy" and I'm just like wow what the absolute shit since he hasn't known me long enough to bullshit some of the stuff he told me.

 

Guess my confession is I used to think tarot junk was mumbo jumbo horse shit and to a degree I still do but also damn the glove fits a little too comfortably. Hi, I'm 24 and I'm emotionally unstable and throw tantrums when the universe doesn't give me what I want haha.

 

Edit: if any of you are into tarot and curious the cards were Ace Of Wands, Eight Of Wands, The King Of Swords, Strength Reversed, Page Of Wands, Nine Of Cups, Emperor, Reversed High Priestess, Seven Of Cups and Two Of Coins

[Satan]

A friend I met earlier this year through another friend was randomly like "hey I'm giving people tarot card readings, want one?" on skype tonight and I was like man I dunno about that shit but lol I'm bored sure why not and he ended up drawing a bunch of stuff that was frighteningly accurate. Basically he drew cards that said "you're way artistic, charismatic and intuitive as heck but you're also a stubborn idiot and ignore the signs the universe gives you then throw a tantrum and get upset when things don't go your way even though you were given signs that said they wouldn't. Also you have hella anxiety and worry way too much but you haven't always been like that? You've recently reverted to having a lot of self doubt and lack of focus. The biggest factor effecting you right now is having a stringent demand for structure and sense, if things aren't laid out for you or make perfect sense you get frustrated and sad. Basically you're hardwired to fuck yourself up. You're in-tune with realizing shit but choose to ignore it, you try to fight the world then realize you're only fighting yourself and right now you're your own worst enemy" and I'm just like wow what the absolute shit since he hasn't known me long enough to bullshit some of the stuff he told me.

 

Guess my confession is I used to think tarot junk was mumbo jumbo horse shit and to a degree I still do but also damn the glove fits a little too comfortably. Hi, I'm 24 and I'm emotionally unstable and throw tantrums when the universe doesn't give me what I want haha.

 

tarot are only guides for you to learn, so take that and grow.

 

 

also. i've learned alot from VC. alot of us  are fucked up. have anxiety (myself included) are depressed. and just plain weird. accept who you are and live it the best you can. we're all pretty fucking awesome regardless.

[edgedestroys]

tarot are only guides for you to learn, so take that and grow.

 

 

also. i've learned alot from VC. alot of us  are fucked up. have anxiety (myself included) are depressed. and just plain weird. accept who you are and live it the best you can. we're all pretty fucking awesome regardless.

 

yeah very true, definitely seen that there are plenty of anxious/depressed people on VC but I'd agree most of us are pretty fucking cool

[Satan]

yeah very true, definitely seen that there are plenty of anxious/depressed people on VC but I'd agree most of us are pretty fucking cool

 

that doesnt take away from who we are as a whole. the main thing i got from your post is that you lack confidence (you're hardwired to fuck yourself.) if you think that's true try and find a way to diminish that. be it being positive. be it learning from the past and so on and so forth. there are many ways to better yourself for YOURSELF and no one else, but it's you that has to do it. and more importantly, want to do it and find a way to do it that's constructive and beneficial for you as well as others. take it easy my friend, but most importantly, take it.

[edgedestroys]

I actually had a lot of confidence at the start of the year, moreso than I have in a while, hated my body image almost my entire way through middle and highschool and finally came to appreciate it more the past year or two than ever, really just everything about myself. I think my confidence just took a hit with my breakup in july. I'll bounce back from it eventually. I know I'm pretty cool and won't let one person damage my view of myself for too long. Just feelings and stuff, y'all know how it goes. Thanks for the encouraging words though! I try to take everything as a learning experience to better myself, especially relationships (both romantic and with friends since I've only dated 3 people haha), not to fix things that are already broken/appease an ex, just to make myself better and not repeat mistakes.

[Satan]

I actually had a lot of confidence at the start of the year, moreso than I have in a while, hated my body image almost my entire way through middle and highschool and finally came to appreciate it more the past year or two than ever, really just everything about myself. I think my confidence just took a hit with my breakup in july. I'll bounce back from it eventually. I know I'm pretty cool and won't let one person damage my view of myself for too long. Just feelings and stuff, y'all know how it goes. Thanks for the encouraging words though! I try to take everything as a learning experience to better myself, especially relationships (both romantic and with friends since I've only dated 3 people haha), not to fix things that are already broken/appease an ex, just to make myself better and not repeat mistakes.

 

at least you're learning. life is a fucking bitch. im still recovering from shit that happened years ago but hey, trust is a powerful thing. hang in there. also. fuck your body image. you are who you are and if someone cant take you for you, fuck them.

[Satan]

VC GETTIN DEEP TONIGHT!

[edgedestroys]

at least you're learning. life is a fucking bitch. im still recovering from shit that happened years ago but hey, trust is a powerful thing. hang in there. also. fuck your body image. you are who you are and if someone cant take you for you, fuck them.

 

I guess I hated it because I thought people just wanted to date typical six pack hollister models way back then and I've always been that fuzzy dude with a gut that fits in small clothes and looks slimmer somehow but then [Confession 2 if I've never mentioned it on here though I'm pretty sure I have] I figured out yo, I'm gay, neato and I guess that look is really in with a lot of gay dudes so I'm a winner haha. Kinda an ugly duckling case I guess? But also yeah, I've also come to the point where I don't have room in my life for people who judge me or don't appreciate me, looks or personality so yeah. Fuck 'em.

 

Way deep VC party, I'm about it lol.

[caninesapien]

I'm hearing about anxiety and depression a lot more lately, way more than when I was in my teens when I had kind of expected these things.

 

I read an interesting post somewhere recently about Saturn's Return, when Saturn returns to the same location as it was when you were born. which usually takes around 27-29 years. I 100% do not buy into astrology in the slightest but it's an interesting concept. Tied in with the theories that modern humans mature at a slower pace, and much later, than people in previous centuries (or even decades). Something to do with the sheer amount of information and social awareness children and teenagers have now. I've certainly felt anxiety and depression be a much bigger part of my life the later into my 20s I'm getting.

[noalarmplanet]

I guess I hated it because I thought people just wanted to date typical six pack hollister models way back then and I've always been that fuzzy dude with a gut that fits in small clothes and looks slimmer somehow but then [Confession 2 if I've never mentioned it on here though I'm pretty sure I have] I figured out yo, I'm gay, neato and I guess that look is really in with a lot of gay dudes so I'm a winner haha. Kinda an ugly duckling case I guess? But also yeah, I've also come to the point where I don't have room in my life for people who judge me or don't appreciate me, looks or personality so yeah. Fuck 'em.

 

Way deep VC party, I'm about it lol.

I'm really happy for you that you've discovered that, you too "farts". I'm in the back half of my 20's and had one of those huge realizations this year and I really wish I'd had it earlier. I've always had insanely low self esteem and always would be one of those people who would fish for compliments. I was always the woe-is-me wounded protagonist of the pop punk album in my head about my problems and It's really dawned on me that the only thing I control at all is myself, if I stay true to myself then I can slow down and treat others with that same respect. I've stopped going on so many "If you like this you're cool and if you like this you're dumb and die in a fire" type rants. 

 

People are people and the sooner you learn to respect yourself, the sooner you start to treat those close to you with the same care. I mean I still carry around a lot of pain, but I'm not blaming anyone else for my problems or taking on the perceptions of others as defining what my strengths or flaws are, and looking in the mirror sucks, it's painful but you see the real flaws instead of the fake ones.

 

The internet is so full of group think and circle jerk, mixed in with all the deplorable assholes that make comments on youtube and click-bait articles, it's nice to find a community of people who seem genuine and nice. We all can get sarcastic and troll but this is the most genuine online community I've ever been apart of.  BTW, I don't mean this as life lesson for you, I only quoted you cuz I was just happy you found who you were and went for it. 

[edgedestroys]

I personally feel no shame in pop punk protagonist moments [confession?], I went on a decently big pop punk album buying binge last month. I've seen plenty of comments to the tune of "I used to love this stuff but then I grew up and realized there's bigger things to worry about than being sad and ex girl/boyfriends" and for me it's like cool, enjoy claiming your bitter old man title a few decades early. People have feelings, sometimes it sucks, don't let the bad ones run your life sure, but also don't act like you never feel sad anymore. I feel like back in school when I'd hear people say shit like "wow don't be so emo" so many of my peers were taught that it was bad to feel upset or sad or frustrated, or at least show it and it stifled their emotional expression. Guess that's why I have an appreciation for pop punk, yeah, a lot of it is cliche but I dig that it's honest about a lot of feelings people try to act like they don't have. Not that I took your post as an attack on it or anything, I just woke up after 5 hours of sleep and I'm kinda rambling on a tangent here about jaded emotional recluses I guess? I'm still waking up, take this with a grain of salt, or 20. I think I've been reading too much Brene Brown maybe...

 

Also it's all good, I didn't take it any way but positively!