konk Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 she sits on the toilet with the lid up?Yes. I think she sits before she looks so she doesn't want to get back up to lift the lid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelmanfredi Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Yes. I think she sits before she looks so she doesn't want to get back up to lift the lid. i think you meant to say "My wife gets mad when I lift the lid up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbobrando Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 i shared my work poop battle between floors here years ago. it ended in a deuce. Fixed cbbrew22, papermonsters and paynegretzky 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 A wise friend once told me to "Never trust a guy who wears those shirts with different color collars, they are always douchey and always think too much of themselves" To this day I haven't found this to be inaccurate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hipsterasfolk Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Send your coworkers to work with me for a weekend, after seeing how the girls demolish the restroom at the bar.....piss on the floor will be funny! When I was the new guy I had to clean it every night, girls literally pooped their panties and threw their mud butt drench panties against the wall, clinging them to the tile..... jerseydave77 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Oh man, at EVERY place I have worked, there has always been that one guy who doesn't know how to flush after he shits along with an overwhelming and unnecessary amount of toilet paper that ends up fucking clogging everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpazzyMcGee Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Never work at Kroger if you don't like cleaning poop water off the floor and used tampons out of bins attached to the stall. There's a special kind of crazy that draws people to kroger.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinisterkidd Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I was talking to some guy in the bathroom last week and he's like whenever I pee on the seat I just put the lid up after so the next person doesn't think it's me. Wut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paynegretzky Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Can we talk about how hard it is to flush the toilet in shared/public washrooms? It never fails that every time i need to drop a deuce at my college, every stall has already had a log sunk in them, and yet to be flushed still. I mean, its a hard concept, pushing a handle to prepare for the next person, right? ah the ol' decomposed log. public washrooms are always a gamble. i use them quite often - i pee a lot because of all the coffee i drink… you see some nasty stuff in there. the worst is now being a teacher and using one of the many staff washrooms. you just know what teacher is guilty of the act. also, e-mail in OP is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chamb117 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 how hard is it to pee straight???!?!! if your aim is bad from the start, you're screwed. that is, if your pee pee is the plane, it's all about the liftoff, which can be occasionally unpredictable. the rest of the flight is easy. i didn't know people peed on seats in people's homes. i thought that was a purely public-restroom thing. i never lift the seat in public restrooms but i also never pee on it, either, or i do my best not to, and i'll wipe it if it was clean before. i try to follow the golden rule because i like the seat to be clean if i ever need to sit on it for PT (poop time). it really shouldn't be called the golden rule in regard to this, though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbbrew22 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I did some janitorial work in my early college days and the stuff I saw in Women's restrooms was BY FAR worse than anything I ever saw in the Men's restroom. Also, bathrooms at 24-hour fitness (and probably any other gym) are disgusting. Not only are they wet and humid because they are connected to the shower room and people seem to like to go straight from the shower to drop a deuce, but, well, it's... obvious that people are consuming all sorts of proteins, fibers, etc. I won't get into it anymore than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Boys I can understand, to an extent. You're at a higher level which means there can be possible spray once your piss hits the water. Gross, but whatever. It's woman who leave little puddles (too big to just be droplets) of urine on the toilet seat that absolutely fucking baffle me. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE. and I witness this every day at work. I will never, ever understand how that much piss gets (and stays for the next person) on the toilet seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIGMA_BALLZ Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 cbbrew22 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tml-7 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Boys I can understand, to an extent. You're at a higher level which means there can be possible spray once your piss hits the water. Gross, but whatever. It's woman who leave little puddles (too big to just be droplets) of urine on the toilet seat that absolutely fucking baffle me. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE. and I witness this every day at work. I will never, ever understand how that much piss gets (and stays for the next person) on the toilet seat. From what my girlfriend tells me, a lot of girls don't actually sit, they squat over the seat. which would explain piss getting everywhere. Especially girls that have pet elephant ears down there if ya know what i mean. And yet, they still manage to keep their clothes clean somehow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadreckoning Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I used to work at Chuck E. Cheese in high school and by the women's bathroom was orders of magnitude worse than the men's. Not sure what what in there. Without fail more than once a week someone had crapped on the women's bathroom floor. I have heard plenty of stories from girls who find pee all over the seats due to hovering. I also hear that shaving can effect the flow. regarding the OP, the dude could have a piercing. It's like a thumb over a garden hose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icecream Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 danionly, nick6ten and sinisterkidd 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
videogamesandvinyl Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 We have nicknames for some of our co-workers here. Our bathroom is a single restroom so sometimes you can identify who was in there by an empty desk around the office.. Dude in IT leaves poop speckles all the time. Never flushes a 2nd time for some reason... This earned him the name, "Cookie Monster" since it always looks like cookie crumbs. If he doesn't leave his crumbs behind, it's because he streaked the hell outta the toilet, earning his other nickname, "The Streaker." Another dude in IT (see a pattern here?) leaves ass lint on the back of the toilet seat. We never came up with a clever name for him. Then there is a huge puddle of piss on one side of the toilet that we have no clue who does it. It almost looks as though somebody intentionally chooses not to use the toilet. Our restroom is disgusting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnystorm777 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 We have nicknames for some of our co-workers here. Our bathroom is a single restroom so sometimes you can identify who was in there by an empty desk around the office.. Dude in IT leaves poop speckles all the time. Never flushes a 2nd time for some reason... This earned him the name, "Cookie Monster" since it always looks like cookie crumbs. If he doesn't leave his crumbs behind, it's because he streaked the hell outta the toilet, earning his other nickname, "The Streaker." Another dude in IT (see a pattern here?) leaves ass lint on the back of the toilet seat. We never came up with a clever name for him. Then there is a huge puddle of piss on one side of the toilet that we have no clue who does it. It almost looks as though somebody intentionally chooses not to use the toilet. Our restroom is disgusting... I work with Skinnywolf and can confirm this story! Also we only get the bathroom cleaned 2 times a month! piss everywhere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
videogamesandvinyl Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I work with Skinnywolf and can confirm this story! Also we only get the bathroom cleaned 2 times a month! piss everywhere! This is also true, we were told that cleaning the restroom more than twice a month doesn't fit into the budget... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnystorm777 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Forgot to mention the booger bandit! There was mysteriously a collection of boogers on the wall next to the toilet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aflycon Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Another dude in IT (see a pattern here?) leaves ass lint on the back of the toilet seat. We never came up with a clever name for him. Why not "Ass Lint?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rooks Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Why not "Ass Lint?" Lint Asswood aflycon, avery, Team Avatar and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LIGMA_BALLZ Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Lint Asswood Damnit all morning I was trying to think up an archer style pun for this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deafening Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Hover-ers: Clean enough to not put your ass on a possibly dirty seat. Dirty enough to leave your piss stagnant on the seat for the next person. Retarded enough to still miss the bowl even though you're five inches from it. Got it. sinisterkidd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aflycon Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Damnit all morning I was trying to think up an archer style pun for this Best I could come up with was the "Stir-Friday" scene when Cyril says something along the lines of "Well, that's a lot better than what I had," and Archer says "It's all yours." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.