GradedOnACurve Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 A girl I met on myspace many many moons ago. Our birthdays were close, so we decided to meet for the first time at a pub that had live music 5 nights a week, and celebrate both our birthdays(lame as fuck exscuse to get laid). Half way through the night I borrow my mates house keys and take the girl back there(about a 2 minute walk from the pub). We fuck, we go back to the show enjoy the rest of the eve, then go back to her place and fuck again. We end up dating for a few months. All good times. One day I notice a package for a pregnancy test on the bathroom floor. I enquired about to be told it was her room mates. Eh, whatever. All good. A few weeks later we break up, no fights or arguments. Just both went our seperate ways. A few weeks after that, a friend from high school is dating the same girl. WTF. that pissed me off a bit, but whatever. No cheating involved, so I figure. Let them have their fun. Adults and all that. They break up after a few months and he's having a party to celebrate. Apparently they didn't end on good terms. So the party is going well, bands in one corner, beers being drank on the roof. As the nights winding down I kinda sneak off and take a shit on the inside of his oven door. Revenge shit, is the best kind of shit! Close it back up, and leave as calmly as I arrived. Next morning I get a call from him...did you shit in my oven? Laughing uncontrolably I say yes, because it's hilarious. Bad news for him, he was hungover, and wanted to make breakfast, turned the oven on to heat up, and baked my turd in the process. Again, HILARIOUS. It was during this phone call he told me why they broke up. He paid for an abortion. He wanted to have the kid, she didn't. I never told him about the pregnancy test I saw on the floor that she attributed to her room mate. I couldn't leave him thinking he paid for my abortion AND a kitchen smelling of burnt bog. /thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jase Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Being his first call, i feel a need to ask; do you have a history is shitting in people's ovens?I do not Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Being his first call, i feel a need to ask; do you have a history is shitting in people's ovens? does this bring new meaning to the term "dutch oven"? danionly, hippielauryn and tittus 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 does this bring new meaning to the term "dutch oven"? God damn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbbrew22 Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 does this bring new meaning to the term "dutch oven"? /thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 jase when he tells this story tittus and aflycon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Family Friendly Rap God Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Since there's no man advice thread, I posted on a status of a girl I went to HS with and one of her mutal friends added and inboxed me. She was agreeing with what I said on the status. So we ended up inboxing back and forth for hours just talking. She's definetly flirting (inviting me for a free photoshoot) but I'm making sure to mention my GF, which has no effect. She lives in LA but is in town every couple months. I'm starting to feel a little guilty even though I'm not cheating. Should I just stop talking to her? Sidebar: she's HOT as HELL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 If you're happy with your current girl, then just stop talking to this girl, only bad things can come from it. Hot as hell or not, if you don't want to ruin what you already have, it's better to just stop cold turkey. Seriously. Fridge Fox 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Since there's no man advice thread, I posted on a status of a girl I went to HS with and one of her mutal friends added and inboxed me. She was agreeing with what I said on the status. So we ended up inboxing back and forth for hours just talking. She's definetly flirting (inviting me for a free photoshoot) but I'm making sure to mention my GF, which has no effect. She lives in LA but is in town every couple months. I'm starting to feel a little guilty even though I'm not cheating. Should I just stop talking to her? Sidebar: she's HOT as HELL Elope with the girl that you are inboxing immediately. Then break up with your girlfriend using the line "Sorry. I'm married." Then post in here and tell us juicy stories. entendu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Family Friendly Rap God Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 If you're happy with your current girl, then just stop talking to this girl, only bad things can come from it. Hot as hell or not, if you don't want to ruin what you already have, it's better to just stop cold turkey. Seriously. That's what I did. I started feeling bad about it. I'm am truly happy at home. Why do women always come around once we are taken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Family Friendly Rap God Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Elope with the girl that you are inboxing immediately. Then break up with your girlfriend using the line "Sorry. I'm married." Then post in here and tell us juicy stories. I think I'll be good and finish watching this Mayweather fight lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yocaseycasey Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I think I'll be good and finish watching this Mayweather fight lol I was obviously joking. Love you man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chamb117 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 it's impossible to watch any sort of shows or movies in your room laying on your bed. it always leads to sex. ALWAYSSSS zombieland. who knew? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Family Friendly Rap God Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I was obviously joking. Love you man! Haha I know man! I needed some humor tonight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werner Herzog Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I ran out of up votes within a minute. Thank you so much to everyone for making my night. thejesseb 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 True story: It was freshman year and I fingered a girl before having my first kiss. Liimpan 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KennyFuckingPowers Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Why do women always come around once we are taken? This is the question I'll never understand. Its the biggest struggle to find a women, then once you do tons appear out of fucking nowhere. Its one of the worst things in the world. Also I dont know if anything can top Jase's story. With that said, Im now planning a revenge shit. Thanks for the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 This is the question I'll never understand. Its the biggest struggle to find a women, then once you do tons appear out of fucking nowhere. Its one of the worst things in the world. Yeah, some crazy shit, can't get laid when I'm single, but once you've got a bae, women be tempting you and shit. It's a conspiracy man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 it's because people want what they can't have. When something is unattainable, it becomes desirable. It's why breaking up with one person for another never usually works out. The decision was rash and based solely on not having something. Greed. As soon as you have it you realize it was not what you wanted. It's also why we make impulse vinyl purchases! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Every time my dumbass friends would make us 15 minutes late for a movie we'd be walking in as the last trailer ended and they'd be like "Oh good, we only missed the trailers!" They never understood my love of trailers. I'm also a weirdo who would PAUSE movies when a girl would want to fool around. The crazy girl I've mentioned in this thread actually started a full blown "WE ARE FIGHTING!" argument that lasted a day or so because I was watching Jurassic Park while we made out. It was on TV, I couldn't pause it! What was I supposed to do? Not watch Jurassic Park? It was at the "clever girl..." scene! This is why I hide in my room and watch tv alone. It's not because I'm a loser..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladew1ll1s1sdead Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 This is the question I'll never understand. Its the biggest struggle to find a women, then once you do tons appear out of fucking nowhere. Its one of the worst things in the world.THIS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 me too! I'm glad there are people here who are anal about movies like I am. trailers are the most important part about a movie, and if she wants to talk / go to pound town during the movie i'm pausing it. Trailers are important!! My friends have learned to look at me after each trailer and we do either the "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" after each trailer. It's important that my friends and I are on the same page with our movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 My last boyfriend was a mess. He liked me then he didn't, then he liked me until he didn't. It went on or 2 years until I just cut him out of my life. The good thing is that he's the person who got me into vinyl. Bought me my first 2 records. Bad thing is he bought me a crosley. But it's the thought that counts! He was also an asshole and wouldn't listen to any of the records I bought. I think it would be cool to date a guy who would listen to records with me. Ah! And go to the record store together. That would be fun! I also knit him some cool beanies and he threw them all away during one of our breaks. Give that shit back if you don't want it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 My last boyfriend was a mess. He liked me then he didn't, then he liked me until he didn't. It went on or 2 years until I just cut him out of my life. The good thing is that he's the person who got me into vinyl. Bought me my first 2 records. Bad thing is he bought me a crosley. But it's the thought that counts! He was also an asshole and wouldn't listen to any of the records I bought. I think it would be cool to date a guy who would listen to records with me. Ah! And go to the record store together. That would be fun! I also knit him some cool beanies and he threw them all away during one of our breaks. Give that shit back if you don't want it! My girlfriend got me into records and I turned out to be really obsessive about it and enjoy collecting more than she does. But we do like most of the same music so it's nice to wake up in the morning and listen to Mac Demarco while we shower together. She had the audacity to say she didn't care about records that much anymore and I died inside. Fairmount 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpazzyMcGee Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 My girlfriend got me into records and I turned out to be really obsessive about it and enjoy collecting more than she does. But we do like most of the same music so it's nice to wake up in the morning and listen to Mac Demarco while we shower together. She had the audacity to say she didn't care about records that much anymore and I died inside. I'm the collector in the relationship but my girl does a good job of asking about what I got or what I've been spinning recently. She's really busy in another state so I appreciate the effort. I would die too, like a stylus to the heart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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