Bladewillisisdead Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 No face no problem. "No face" is something they should start teaching in sex ed classes. It's still kinda shitty to share when there's no face, but I guess I'm an old fashioned gentleman like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 "No face" is something they should start teaching in sex ed classes. It's still kinda shitty to share when there's no face, but I guess I'm an old fashioned gentleman like that. #Yolo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 You crazy teens with your sexting and hastag swags. Relevant crazy ex story! Same girl as before. In my freshman year of college I took a photography course and one of our assignments was nude photography. I told my ex and she freaked out. She demanded that I use her as a model, which was what I was TRYING to ask her to do before she flipped. Of course, I had a bunch of girls in class come up to me all "Hey Bruewillisisdead, if you're looking for a model for this assignment..." and since I was an idiot I said "No thank you" instead of "Hold on, I need to break up with my shitty girlfriend real quick." I reserved studio time and we went in, I set up lights and all that, and asked her to get naked. She was like "Wait, is anyone going to see these!?!" I had already explained several times what the project was, but I explained it again. She was suddenly NOT okay with it. I told her it was fine and I could figure something out. This freaked her out again because she didn't want anyone else naked in front of me. Eventually we decided "No face, no butt, no boobs, not vagina." I ended up submitting close ups of her knee, shoulder, and elbow for the class critique. Highlight from the class discussion: "What even is that?" "....I have no idea...like an arm or something?" For the next year and a half before we broke up she would randomly be like "I can't believe you showed my body to your whole art class!" and then be cold and shitty for the rest of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Also feel free to post revenge nudes. i predicted this on page 1! jasonsheperdbfl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbbrew22 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 You crazy teens with your sexting and hastag swags. Relevant crazy ex story! Same girl as before. In my freshman year of college I took a photography course and one of our assignments was nude photography. I told my ex and she freaked out. She demanded that I use her as a model, which was what I was TRYING to ask her to do before she flipped. Of course, I had a bunch of girls in class come up to me all "Hey Bruewillisisdead, if you're looking for a model for this assignment..." and since I was an idiot I said "No thank you" instead of "Hold on, I need to break up with my shitty girlfriend real quick." I reserved studio time and we went in, I set up lights and all that, and asked her to get naked. She was like "Wait, is anyone going to see these!?!" I had already explained several times what the project was, but I explained it again. She was suddenly NOT okay with it. I told her it was fine and I could figure something out. This freaked her out again because she didn't want anyone else naked in front of me. Eventually we decided "No face, no butt, no boobs, not vagina." I ended up submitting close ups of her knee, shoulder, and elbow for the class critique. Highlight from the class discussion: "What even is that?" "....I have no idea...like an arm or something?" For the next year and a half before we broke up she would randomly be like "I can't believe you showed my body to your whole art class!" and then be cold and shitty for the rest of the day. Well she sounds delightful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Well she sounds delightful. I wasted 3 years in the prime of my dating years with her because I had zero self esteem. No one should ever suffer the same. If you're between 16-21 and your significant other causes you even the slightest amount of problems, just break up with them. Don't try to fix it, fuck that shit you're too young. Trying to "fix" a relationship is for married people. jamdbz, FangsAnalSatan, Daniel Dopp and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 You know how to pick the winners Brucewillisisdead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 In my defense, all my stories are from one girl. All my other relationships have gone much better or at least ended when they should have. My current girlfriend is a goddamn saint and the only "crazy" about her is that she's stuck with me for 4 years. I'm actually racking my brain trying to think of a "crazy ex" story about a different girl. All I can come up with is one girl's ex boyfriend hid in the woods behind my house on and off for like a week watching me and my friends smoke weed in my yard because he was trying to keep tabs on her. But yeah, that one girl was crazy enough to pretty much shame me for life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 fuck it, here we go! alright, so i was with this seemingly lovely gal named tasha. we met on okcupid after i had a break up. our first date was on my birthday even. she had a kid who was roughly a year old at the time. this was the first time i dated someone with a kid mind you. anyway, she was a "stay at home single mom" aka. had no car and lived with her drunk ass dad (who by the way was AWESOME.) anyway, after 4-5 months of dating and her complaining about her living situation i asked her to move on in, bring the kid and so on. I had a single family home at the time. 1 story house, 2 bedrooms, a full basement and a cat. We got along great and everything was fucking cool. I was the bread winner at $12/hr at the time that was fucking ROUGH, although we had food stamps which was awesome. Great sex, great times, great everything. I even met some of my best friends that I have now because of her. Anyway, I had no problems taking care of her kid and treated it as my own since the dad only got him a weekend a month as per their agreement. One day about a year and a half later she went out and got drunk with mutual friends like any normal person, and when she got home what did she say? "hi jason!" NO. (im not jason, im tony.) i slept on the couch that night because i was PISSED. Things never were right from that point on. About a month later, her dad asked her to watch the house while he was out of town on a construction job for a month. We packed her shit up so she had everything she needed to do what she had to do for her dad. i understood that. BUT WHAT I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WAS WHEN I GOT HOME THAT NEXT FRIDAY FROM WORK WAS SEEING "HEY BABY, I MISS YOUR KISSES. COME HOME" ON HER BABY FATHERS FACEBOOK WALL. to be continued... (pt 2 gets naughty.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 I already know, you walked in on Jason and Tasha after a night of drunk dad/son bonding time and you guys both beat the fuck out of Jason, who wasn't even the father, and then you and drunk dad became lovers, Tasha became a drug addict and hooker. Edit: Nevermind I think that was a Jerry Spring episode. Rip and stampface 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aflycon Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippielauryn Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I've only dated people more boring than me. There is very little drama on both sides :/ Same here. I typically go for the tall nerdy guys who are more interested in video games than social interaction, except my current BF is waaaaaay cooler than me and I love it. Don't really have any crazy exes and that's probably because I was the crazy ex at one point. Seventeen year old, emotionally disturbed me didn't take it too well when my HS sweetheart and first love broke up with me. I made some poor decisions, but I got over it and was better off being a single lady in College than attached to some dude who lived 4 hours away. You live and you learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 Same here. I typically go for the tall nerdy guys who are more interested in video games than social interaction, except my current BF is waaaaaay cooler than me and I love it. Don't really have any crazy exes and that's probably because I was the crazy ex at one point. Seventeen year old, emotionally disturbed me didn't take it too well when my HS sweetheart and first love broke up with me. I made some poor decisions, but I got over it and was better off being a single lady in College than attached to some dude who lived 4 hours away. You live and you learn. STORY STORY STORY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY I bought a sealed VHS of the greatest moments, and watched it recently. I have never laughed so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Family Friendly Rap God Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Sell the movie rights! I would in heartbeat lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I think I've posted this before somewhere, but here goes: I "dated" this girl in10th grade and everyone who knew I dated her called her corpse bride in my front of me cause she was hot topic and goth as hell and I ended up not dating her for long. 5+ years later and we start talking because she likes La Dispute, and shes absolutely gorgeous and despite her love for raves (I reeeeeeally don't get going to raves and doing drugs and spinning your hands with flasy lights and hula hoops and acid), I was totally into her again. So we went on a cute date where she had Thai food for the first time (a sin in itself, I know) and went back and watched arrested development and made out a little! She had driven this night because I couldn't get a car (#weak), and she drives this modded really ugly color volkswagen and shes obsessed with cars and shit. She had other plans that night so she had to drive me home. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she ran back into the house to get something. She left the door open and it was cold as fuck outside so I thought I'd turn the car on to turn the heat on. I turned the car on from the passenger seat, and it jumped into drive and smashed into her garage, breaking a support beam in her house. I never got a second date. chamb117, Fridge Fox, Daniel Dopp and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 I never got a second date. Why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpazzyMcGee Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Why not? She lost his number. ...right? Think I missed the point.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefchino Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 ... So I was reading this thread And I got creepy and Facebook stalked my high school ex... Then as I was going through her pics I got distracted with something else and some how reposted her profile pic on my feed. Yeah I'm going go to work now ManhattanValley, Fairmount, hobohunter48 and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horrorbusiness138 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Not really a story but I always laugh way harder than I should at the fact one of my friends dated two different girls with the EXACT same name not long after the other. Shit blows my mind. I dated/went on dates with 4 different girls in a row, all of whom were named Jackie. And that was after I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years whose name was also Jackie. Whenever I tell my friends stories about these girls I refer to them by numbers (Jackie #1, #2, etc). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 She lost his number. ...right? Think I missed the point.. I don't get how you guys are confused. I smashed her precious car into her house and she obviously didn't want to see me again. ever. Werner Herzog and captainaldous 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbbrew22 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I don't get how you guys are confused. I smashed her precious car into her house and she obviously didn't want to see me again. ever. Werner Herzog, emokid9963, michaelmanfredi and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Avatar Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 actually it took a year and a half for her to forgive me. we text now and then - in fact she recently told me she misses me and wants me to come home and watch netflix and eat (pizza) and i'm like okay i'll drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emokid9963 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I don't get how you guys are confused. I smashed her precious car into her house and she obviously didn't want to see me again. ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpazzyMcGee Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Had a good hearty laugh at this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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