McCandless Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Simple, go the show with another girl and don't act all emo staring at her from across the room. It always makes you think twice when you think someone is over you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I read a lot (not just on here and this isn't directed about anyone in particular) about guys who sound like they just get way too hung up on particular girls in general. If a girl isn't feeling it, then cool, just move on. If you think before you get bailed on that you will get bailed on then you probably will, and just continue to have cycles of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you have a "woe-is-me" attitude about yourself, girls will pick up on that and probably take it as a sign of weakness even if you aren't intentionally putting that vibe out there. Just play it coy, and be cool. Girls probably don't like it when guys are all clingy and bummed when they can't hang out or whatever. Just go out and find some other chick who wants to hang. Or don't, whatever. futures 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
̮ ɤ ̮ Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Trust the shinigami. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Out of Breath Records Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 In regards to the looks thing, I'm a pretty ugly motherfucker but I've been in a relationship with a total bae, inside and out, for over a year now. So yeah, if you're looking for something steady, don't worry about looks, she'll come when she comes. Also, if your goal is casual flings, then remember clothes and style are huge(says my girlfriend). Also look at Josh Peck from Drake & Josh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Of Suburbia Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Okay so I just got out of my sociology class and today we talked about family and ended with what things we like in a woman/man. I was one of a few to get picked to describe what I like in a woman and all of my features were about personality. I did not once say anything about looks. Now a lot of you ladies and gents said that females don't care too much about looks... Well all of the girls that were picked to describe wha they like in a guy, all of the girls that answered, about 80% of their lists were about being "gorgeous" or "good-looking". Now after that it makes me really hard to believe that women don't care too much about looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
̮ ɤ ̮ Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You shouldn't care about that 80%, when there's still 20% of good people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Of Suburbia Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 You shouldn't care about that 80%, when there's still 20% of good people. What I meant was that 80% of their list (the girls) consisted of things that were about good looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Okay so I just got out of my sociology class and today we talked about family and ended with what things we like in a woman/man. I was one of a few to get picked to describe what I like in a woman and all of my features were about personality. I did not once say anything about looks. Now a lot of you ladies and gents said that females don't care too much about looks... Well all of the girls that were picked to describe wha they like in a guy, all of the girls that answered, about 80% of their lists were about being "gorgeous" or "good-looking". Now after that it makes me really hard to believe that women don't care too much about looks. I'm a lady and I can say that some of us dig personality way more! None of the guys I've liked look similar but they all had pretty cool personalities. I'm really into guys that wear glasses but I've never dated one so it isn't all about looks. I'm sure a lot of guys pass me based on just my looks but why would I want to be with someone like that anyway? Don't overthink it, I know it's upsetting but it's better to wait for someone really great than to end up with someone who only cares about the way you look. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noalarmplanet Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 I'm a lady and I can say that some of us dig personality way more! None of the guys I've liked look similar but they all had pretty cool personalities. I'm really into guys that wear glasses but I've never dated one so it isn't all about looks. I'm sure a lot of guys pass me based on just my looks but why would I want to be with someone like that anyway? Don't overthink it, I know it's upsetting but it's better to wait for someone really great than to end up with someone who only cares about the way you look. 100%. I feel like I look like the beast and yet somehow my very beautiful girlfriend finds me attractive. She keeps this up I might get a kiss before the rose wilts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 What I meant was that 80% of their list (the girls) consisted of things that were about good looks. You said it perfectly though, the survey was with the following. Girls... not Women. Guys... not Men Once everyone matures it no longer matters Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippielauryn Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Okay so I just got out of my sociology class and today we talked about family and ended with what things we like in a woman/man. I was one of a few to get picked to describe what I like in a woman and all of my features were about personality. I did not once say anything about looks. Now a lot of you ladies and gents said that females don't care too much about looks... Well all of the girls that were picked to describe wha they like in a guy, all of the girls that answered, about 80% of their lists were about being "gorgeous" or "good-looking". Now after that it makes me really hard to believe that women don't care too much about looks. So what you're saying is those girls are about 80% shallow... Just gotta find those girls who aren't so shallow and actually care about the substance of a person. I mean.... everyone cares about looks to a certain extent and everyone has their own idea of what is attractive, but in no way should it be what defines whether or not you want to be with someone. There is so much more to a person than looks, and if someone is basing their relationships on that then they will end up in a failed relationship or one that doesn't make them happy. I would consider myself one of those not so attractive people and it would always take me being friends with someone before they actually asked me on a date or thought of me as more than just a friend. So that's the best advice I can give. Get to know someone first and don't put pressure on yourself to find a girlfriend. Just enjoy having friends and building relationships... all of the rest will fall into place. tarzioo_ and -tess. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noalarmplanet Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 This may be "Duh Doy" advice but the one things I've learned is that we often think that everyone has got everything figured out and we don't. We work so hard to make advice about guys and girls into a formula that can be calculated to equal sex or date or a boyfriend/girlfriend that we forget that we are all just fucked up human beings and not stars of Hugh Grant movie in the making. Just be human towards everyone and you'll find that some people are more worth your time than others and the ones worth the most are worth taking risks for if you develop feelings for them. Personality can make someone attractive and there are different types of attractiveness. There's no rule book for anything. I wrote this little quote/thing for a novel and people seem to like it. (ok, ok I'm quite proud of it) We are a Generation raised on cinematic romance. So crushing a disappointment has the realization of this lie been, that we all carry scars by default. Damaged and looking for answers we turn to each other, often making things worse. Then one day we meet someone who damages us so severely and beautifully they leave a scar that cannot be hidden. This is true love, hideous in sight and healing in it's authenticity. McCandless and hippielauryn 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 We are a Generation raised on cinematic romance. So crushing a disappointment has the realization of this lie been, that we all carry scars by default. Damaged and looking for answers we turn to each other, often making things worse. Then one day we meet someone who damages us so severely and beautifully they leave a scar that cannot be hidden. This is true love, hideous in sight and healing in it's authenticity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Yo, that thing about a generation raised on cinematic romance is poignant as fuck. It's so true it hurts. My first girlfriend had that shit so ingrained in her brain that it was scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Sorry about the double post and Im sure this has already been said in some form but: anyone worrying about their looks just needs to remember that you can't change your face. You CAN change/control the way you dress, groom, and carry yourself. Those things go a looooong way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 And as someone who's on the attractive side of the scale, and who probably puts too much effort into the way I dress, groom, and carry myself... I can say that none of those have done me any good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 To clarify- I'm an attractive guy who dresses well, and spends too much time on his hair in the morning, and get an alarming amount of credit for simply not shaving. But I still get flaked on constantly and find it just as hard as anyone else to find anything substantial. Haven't had sex in 3 months, and even when I last did, it was 100% to just get it out of my system since I was about 2 months without at that point. It also occurred to me yesterday that I haven't had regular sex available to me in nearly 5 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2014 Share Posted October 13, 2014 Okay so I just got out of my sociology class and today we talked about family and ended with what things we like in a woman/man. I was one of a few to get picked to describe what I like in a woman and all of my features were about personality. I did not once say anything about looks. Now a lot of you ladies and gents said that females don't care too much about looks... Well all of the girls that were picked to describe wha they like in a guy, all of the girls that answered, about 80% of their lists were about being "gorgeous" or "good-looking". Now after that it makes me really hard to believe that women don't care too much about looks. That percentage will change as you get older. Don't worry about it right now. Just work on building relationships with people. Work on being a good person in general and have fun, the women will come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I read a lot (not just on here and this isn't directed about anyone in particular) about guys who sound like they just get way too hung up on particular girls in general. If a girl isn't feeling it, then cool, just move on. If you think before you get bailed on that you will get bailed on then you probably will, and just continue to have cycles of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you have a "woe-is-me" attitude about yourself, girls will pick up on that and probably take it as a sign of weakness even if you aren't intentionally putting that vibe out there. Just play it coy, and be cool. Girls probably don't like it when guys are all clingy and bummed when they can't hang out or whatever. Just go out and find some other chick who wants to hang. Or don't, whatever.This is good advice. Thank you. I do tend to give off a bummed out vibe way too often, though I make sure to never be clingy. I get hung up on certain people way too easily though. I'm going to try and be a bit more positive. Thanks again, haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laralaurent Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 these responses have been great. i am probably a victim of cinematic romance, lol. but this is really great advice for everyone: I read a lot (not just on here and this isn't directed about anyone in particular) about guys who sound like they just get way too hung up on particular girls in general. If a girl isn't feeling it, then cool, just move on. If you think before you get bailed on that you will get bailed on then you probably will, and just continue to have cycles of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you have a "woe-is-me" attitude about yourself, girls will pick up on that and probably take it as a sign of weakness even if you aren't intentionally putting that vibe out there. Just play it coy, and be cool. Girls probably don't like it when guys are all clingy and bummed when they can't hang out or whatever. Just go out and find some other chick who wants to hang. Or don't, whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sad Heart Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 This is good advice. Thank you. I do tend to give off a bummed out vibe way too often, though I make sure to never be clingy. I get hung up on certain people way too easily though. I'm going to try and be a bit more positive. Thanks again, haha. How I always looked it is that there are so many different personalities out there. As stereotypical, mediocre, and lame most people seem, there are those people that aren't sp "textbook" once you get to know them. And once you do so, if your personalities don't match, don't tale it personally. Considering how many people live on this planet, the amount of thoughts, opinions, ideas, perspectives, etc. that one person could have, the infite combinations, don't take it personally if who you are doesn't mesh with another. I use to get so hung up over that, especially with girls who I had interest in, but never be bitter towards someone because of it. What I like to keep in mind it to be polite, be civil, be up front, and if it's the other way around don't take it personally. Respect the other person if they are honest with you (hopefully they are civil and direct), and move on. It's hard to keep your head above water and stay optimistic, while thinking to yourself "how can I not take it personally?", and that's easy; don't. I'm a pretty introverted person myself, but I still try to keep all this in mind, especially in my later years, post teen drama. Just keep a positive attitude, stay optimistic, meet as many people as you can. And hopefully you'll stay optimistic long enough to meet that girl that makes you laugh ... and has basdass taste in music. laralaurent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-tess. Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 I can truly say that for me, personality matters more than looks. But, as you all know, it goes both ways. I have been dating and getting a fair amount of rejection and I won't lie... It is a shitty feel. But, I know that somewhere down the line Someone will like what I have to offer and it will be worth the wait. It is easy to be negative and give up, which I have considered many times. But, I am just fine on my own. Having someone would be great, but when the timing is right they will show up. And until then, I am just going to keep being awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bladewillisisdead Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It's not something I'm going to jump into for a long while but holy shit I just realized I'll have to date again at some point and I am not looking forward to that bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-tess. Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 It's not something I'm going to jump into for a long while but holy shit I just realized I'll have to date again at some point and I am not looking forward to that bullshit. Meh. Take your time. I have been single for 2+ years and I am just starting to date again. No need to hurry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tarzioo_ Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Yep! I've been single do 2 years and before that it was for 5. No need to rush any of that stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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