sjb2k1 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 who said anything about being on the rag? i'm talking cutting (scalpel) and biting. that shit is intense but very messy. luckily my shower door was 4 feet from the bed. we had to jump to the linoleum as to not stain the carpet. speaking of the poop dept. once my roommate was having sex with my friend and his girlfriend, and when he pulled out of her anus, he got some poop on him. he immediately got it and flung it at her and it got caught in her 3/4" plug in her ear. without her acknowledging it for the next 15 minutes. he swapped condoms and kept going at it (but laughing and trying to cum because he couldn't concentrate anymore and just wanted to get it over with. when he told me the next day i couldn't stop laughing because i imagined the scenerio and started spitting and almost dry heaving into my cereal as i was laughing soooo freakin' hard. i always wanted to talk to her about that night and her getting poo in her ear. i just assumed...haha shiiiiit. i'm all for getting rough but i think i'd have to pass on actual cutting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronniegwilliams Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I lived with roommates and toured in bands from when I was 18 to about 26, so I've definitely been walked in on a shit ton of times. I'm not a shy dude, not are the gals I tend to date so it's never really a big deal. One time I was banging a gal on my friend Brent's futon (in a studio apartment), he wakes up, slaps my bare ass and tells me to shut her the fuck up. I also walked in on him going down on some dude he was talking to on my couch one night. Him and I were pretty close videogamesandvinyl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 My dad walked in on my ex and I while she was titty-fucking me. He just goes "whoops" and walks out. Never even mentioned it to me. What a cool guy. enjoytheride, trevorxramage, laralaurent and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 First time I ever had a girl overnight, we decide to wake up early and start messing around. For some reason, my mom decided she wanted to come into my room to say bye to me as she was leaving for work. She kinda got an eyeful. That night she was like I can't believe my son does that. To which I replied dammit mom I'm like 19 now, I should be able to do a lot of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 without a doubt TOTY. I'm now going to walk into my biology class extremely late because of catching up in this thread. Keep it up. oh and amnstypls, you ruthless mother fucker. amnstypls 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I remembered a decent story! So the first apartment I moved into like 4 years ago with a bunch of friends was debaucherous as hell and after a while we were like who cares about sex it's no big deal so we'd just do stuff around each other. Nothing too heavy like straight up bangin' but yeah. Friends giving friends blow jobs and handy js, there was a party where one of my friends who's insanely gay was using a vibrator on one of our lady friends and got her off a few times, you get the idea. One night my friends talk me into jerking off for them to watch or something so 5 or 6 of my close friends all come into my room and watch me do my thing but I was really nervous about it and couldn't bust. I apologized and went into the bathroom (it was in my room, I shared the master with one of my roomies) to finish and blasted myself in the face. I came out and everyone was like OHHH!!! but my friend Sam had gone out to the living room to draw on her computer or something. I felt like it'd be a shame if she didn't see the aftermath since she had been sitting in there watching me crank it for like 20 minutes. I went out to the living room naked with my junk still half hard and jizz dripping off my face, walk up to her on the couch, just point at my face and go "hey Sam, look what I did" then went back in my room to clean up. Later she was laughing and like dude what and I just told her "I dunno, you took the time to watch me for that long, I thought you deserved to see the result". I'm a goddamn considerate guy yo. controlthebleeding and brianmorgante 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 hooooooly shit. that was fucking amazing. a lil eyes wide shut house goin on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 So many good stories from that apartment. We let a friend of ours stay with us once and she brought some trashy zero hygiene dude she was interested in that was a huge tool along with her. Hated that dude. He walked in on my ex and I banging on the bathroom floor once and I was just like "dude what the heck the door was closed" and just kicked it shut in his face as he was stammering an apology out. One night coming home from a gas station with a friend that was about a 10 minute walk away I stopped next to this guy's car and was like dude, I don't like you so I took a piss on the driver's door handle and went inside to him and our friend arguing. He got all huffy and stormed outside to go brood in his car which means he definitely got my piss all over his hand. Pretty stoked on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 after reading those stories, i am decidedly not a voyeur. David The Gnome 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 hooooooly shit. that was fucking amazing. a lil eyes wide shut house goin on. Things to think about when you listen to my music ahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 i know. i was gonna say, i hear differently now haha edgedestroys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Back when I was living with my ex and some friends, we had people over one night. After a few drinking games, things started getting a little sexy, and we all kind of called it a night because everyone was ready to bone down. So my roommate and the girl he had over went up to his room, and the two of us decided we were finally going to fuck on the pool table. But just as I put her on top of it and put my hand down her pants, I heard the girl upstairs scream. Because my OTHER roommate, hammered, didn't want to be left out, and made his way into that bedroom. Completely naked. Trying to get in on it. As she was yelling at him to get out, he said the most charming thing possible... "But I'll eat you out!!" Billiard sex didn't end up happening because we went upstairs to scope out the scene and spent the rest of the night laughing our asses off. Same house, different girl. We were having a party, and we made an escape up to my bedroom and started getting it on. I thought it was awesome enough that she left on her vans and hipster glasses, so the sex was awesome. Completely unbeknownst to me, 3 of my friends made their way out on the roof and started watching/recording. All the while, my roommate is distracting her friend with crappy guitar playing- but it worked. Shortly after we finished, the two girls left, and they weren't even out of the driveway before they rigged up the video and had it playing on the big screen. And there I was watching myself take this girl to pound town while about 7 dudes laughed their asses off. She still has no idea this ever happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 i know. i was gonna say, i hear differently now haha When I release the track I'm working on right now you can think to yourself "oh this song is about as long as that one time he jerked off for his friends" haha. Sorry not sorry. sonsofvipers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadmonkey Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 dammit I need to have some hot hipster chick looking action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjb2k1 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 thaaat might be illegal in some states ryan, damn son Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almightyseancore Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 good thread. nice thread. good thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 To elaborate on the second story- We kind of planned it. Earlier in the day, we completely rearranged my room so that my friends could hide in the closet or behind a recliner before I took her in. Even stashed a few beers haha. I took the whole thing as a joke and just appreciated the help in moving my furniture around. And once we actually got started and no one was in there, I never even thought twice about anyone watching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtcohenour Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 a couple years ago, i was at the bar with two friends, and we met 3 smith college girls. they invited us back to their dorm, and of course the one i was talking to the whole time said "oh hey, you guys have fun. i'm gonna go to another bar with my boyfriend." but being the nice guy i am, went anyway, because i was the driver and didn't want to deprive my pals. so i 5th wheeled for a while as we played some dirty jenga. i think there was a handy in the closet at one point. but anyway. it got real late, i saw where things were going, and decided to take off. i'm pretty sure one of them fell short. but that part doesn't matter. what matters is that my other friend went back to his girls room. things started getting heavy, and she stopped and said "wait. i've never had sex with a guy before." he's thrilled. it's his first asian AND she's technically a virg. "do you have a condom?" the thrill quickly evaporates, as he was unprepared. drunk, horny, desperate, she says, "whatever.. use this." and hands him a ziplock bag. drunk, horny, desperate... he obliges. I hope it held up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 oh it did not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 got really drunk tonight with some friends and am about to jerk off seeing as I just broke up with my girlfriend this week. fuck my life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 that's what you're supposed to do. you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtcohenour Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 got really drunk tonight with some friends and am about to jerk off seeing as I just broke up with my girlfriend this week. fuck my life Sounds like a normal course of events Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 got really drunk tonight with some friends and am about to jerk off To this thread I hope. sjb2k1, sonsofvipers, David The Gnome and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edgedestroys Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 To this thread I hope. nailed it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonsofvipers Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 this thread keeps getting better and better. hahaha edgedestroy you rule. edgedestroys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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