Coffee Collective

[HoneyFrosted]

Yikes. Before y'all start getting into all these weird complex blended drinks, know this. Your barista will mess your order up. It will be on purpose. They will do it every time.

Example: One of the places I used to work, people would come in and order just ridiculous shit that wasn't on the menu that would take like 5 minutes to make, they even started bringing in their own bananas, like "can you put this in there?" FUCK no.

You want a banana, peanut butter, chocolate smoothie with 4 shots of espresso and whipped cream? That'll be $10 please to add all these extras, and I expect a tip since you're holding up the line for your stupid drink.

Just keep that in mind. Sorry to get all heated, but that kind of douchebaggery used to really burn me up.

 

But, I am the barista. I don't mess shit up on purpose. Peanut butter banana was easy, it's a banana smoothie with peanut butter syrup, that's all. If they want caffienated, use cold brew instead of milk. I don't work at a juice bar, we don't have an absurd amount of ingredients so most substitutions are easy to do.

 

I think only one time one lady was really surprised to find that we don't use real fresh fruit in our smoothies. We are a coffee shop in a tiny, tiny antiquated historic building, we barely have room for the shit we regularly use, let alone fresh ass fruit from the organic non-GMO grass fed blah blah blah. To be blunt, our prices are too low. So that lady threw a fit and we ended up opening non-related Tropicana orange juice and apple juice to use in her smoothie, as if that was so much better.

[kjkenney]

Yikes. Before y'all start getting into all these weird complex blended drinks, know this. Your barista will mess your order up. It will be on purpose. They will do it every time.

Example: One of the places I used to work, people would come in and order just ridiculous shit that wasn't on the menu that would take like 5 minutes to make, they even started bringing in their own bananas, like "can you put this in there?" FUCK no.

You want a banana, peanut butter, chocolate smoothie with 4 shots of espresso and whipped cream? That'll be $10 please to add all these extras, and I expect a tip since you're holding up the line for your stupid drink.

Just keep that in mind. Sorry to get all heated, but that kind of douchebaggery used to really burn me up.

at this point I don't understand why people don't just get milkshakes. Thats really what they're asking for, it just makes no sense. My gf works at Starbucks and she loathes it, with this being a major reason. It is Starbucks though! People think they're hot shit too when they have a drink order thats not on the menu apparently. I don't mind being nice to people, but retail really turned me into quite the misanthrope.

[mrewest]

I love coffee, but absolutely can't handle black. I feel like such a coffee puss because of it, but my palete just can't handle it right now. I'm hoping to acquire the ability to do black coffee (simply for nutritional purposes) but also so I can start trying out fancy shit without tainting it.

But since I have to be a coffee bitch, I'm going to take the time to throw praise at Dunkin Donuts' Pumpkin. Yeah I know, I'm not only a wuss, but apparently a 20 yr old white chick. I DON'T CARE IT MAKES ME HAPPY

[HoneyFrosted]

at this point I don't understand why people don't just get milkshakes. Thats really what they're asking for, it just makes no sense. My gf works at Starbucks and she loathes it, with this being a major reason. It is Starbucks though! People think they're hot shit too when they have a drink order thats not on the menu apparently. I don't mind being nice to people, but retail really turned me into quite the misanthrope.

 

I don't really have a problem with off-the-menu orders, as long as it's easy to digest.

 

Me - "What would you like?"

Good Customer - "Can I have a blended drink with coffee, chocolate and banana? Maybe some whipped cream?"

Me - "Sure, no problem."

 

Me - "What would you like?"

Bad Customer - "I HAVE NO IDEA I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE LOL"

Me - "Okay, well, would you like some time to peruse, or do you have a usual order I could try to make?"

Bad Customer - 'WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT'S, LIKE, COLD, COFFEE THING"

Me - "Bitch there is an extensive menu right in front of your face there are five people behind you have you never ordered coffee before if you didn't have an idea of what you wanted in the first place why are you here goddamn I want to punch you so bad but I have to think about the tips"

[TheGhostOfRandySavage]

But, I am the barista. I don't mess shit up on purpose. Peanut butter banana was easy, it's a banana smoothie with peanut butter syrup, that's all. If they want caffienated, use cold brew instead of milk. I don't work at a juice bar, we don't have an absurd amount of ingredients so most substitutions are easy to do.

 

I think only one time one lady was really surprised to find that we don't use real fresh fruit in our smoothies. We are a coffee shop in a tiny, tiny antiquated historic building, we barely have room for the shit we regularly use, let alone fresh ass fruit from the organic non-GMO grass fed blah blah blah. To be blunt, our prices are too low. So that lady threw a fit and we ended up opening non-related Tropicana orange juice and apple juice to use in her smoothie, as if that was so much better.

 

Ah, see that makes it simpler. Our people would want 4 fresh shots of espresso made, real banana, real PB, chocolate, smoothie mix... it was just a whole thing. We also served alcohol at this coffee shop, and we fresh squeezed all fresh fruit to make mixed drinks. It was a fun place for the most part, some people just ordered ridiculous stuff.

 

 

at this point I don't understand why people don't just get milkshakes. Thats really what they're asking for, it just makes no sense. My gf works at Starbucks and she loathes it, with this being a major reason. It is Starbucks though! People think they're hot shit too when they have a drink order thats not on the menu apparently. I don't mind being nice to people, but retail really turned me into quite the misanthrope.

Haha, truth. I'll go so far as to say I even LIKE being nice to people, some folks just want to take advantage though.

 

I don't really have a problem with off-the-menu orders, as long as it's easy to digest.

 

Me - "What would you like?"

Good Customer - "Can I have a blended drink with coffee, chocolate and banana? Maybe some whipped cream?"

Me - "Sure, no problem."

 

Me - "What would you like?"

Bad Customer - "I HAVE NO IDEA I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE LOL"

Me - "Okay, well, would you like some time to peruse, or do you have a usual order I could try to make?"

Bad Customer - 'WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT'S, LIKE, COLD, COFFEE THING"

Me - "Bitch there is an extensive menu right in front of your face there are five people behind you have you never ordered coffee before if you didn't have an idea of what you wanted in the first place why are you here goddamn I want to punch you so bad but I have to think about the tips"

 

Ugh. Been there, hate that.

This might sound a little bit mean, but we had this blind gent who would come in all the time for lunch (we also served fresh grilled panini and shit like that.) Dude ordered the same thing every damn time, and yet every time he came in...multiple times a week mind you, he would make whoever was waiting on him read him the entire menu, and I mean every ingredient that was in every sandwich. It got to the point where he'd come in, one person just would start his usual sandwich order and then the other would stand and recite the entire sandwich menu to him, item by item. That way at least we could get moving on the next customer a little quicker.

[radiatorhums]

But since I have to be a coffee bitch, I'm going to take the time to throw praise at Dunkin Donuts' Pumpkin. Yeah I know, I'm not only a wuss, but apparently a 20 yr old white chick. I DON'T CARE IT MAKES ME HAPPY

 

I like my coffee black, but I do have a soft spot for pumpkin lattes.  I'm a sucker for anything pumpkin.

[Out Of Time]

Yikes. Before y'all start getting into all these weird complex blended drinks, know this. Your barista will mess your order up. It will be on purpose. They will do it every time.

Example: One of the places I used to work, people would come in and order just ridiculous shit that wasn't on the menu that would take like 5 minutes to make, they even started bringing in their own bananas, like "can you put this in there?" FUCK no.

You want a banana, peanut butter, chocolate smoothie with 4 shots of espresso and whipped cream? That'll be $10 please to add all these extras, and I expect a tip since you're holding up the line for your stupid drink.

Just keep that in mind. Sorry to get all heated, but that kind of douchebaggery used to really burn me up.

Shit like this is the reason that I am no longer a barista.

[TheGhostOfRandySavage]

Shit like this is the reason that I am no longer a barista.

Samesies.

[kamalatapes]

Whoa for a quick second I was thinking to myself, "Goddamn these cassette heads really love coffee on a Saturday afternoon?" then I realized I clicked COFFEE Collective haha

[atticus]

I took my mom to my local farmers market last month where they sell Jamaican Blue Mountain beans for $32/lb. I have lusted over them since I began going to this farmers market. After she left I was unpacking my groceries and I found a half pound bag tucked in between the bread and the milk. I have the best mom ever. I am almost afraid to drink the stuff though haha.

[paralyticstalks]

I took my mom to my local farmers market last month where they sell Jamaican Blue Mountain beans for $32/lb. I have lusted over them since I began going to this farmers market. After she left I was unpacking my groceries and I found a half pound bag tucked in between the bread and the milk. I have the best mom ever. I am almost afraid to drink the stuff though haha.

Do it. I traveled to DC from Virginia Beach one time just to try it. So worth it. I still have a little bit in the bag I bought.

[jvphotoandvideo]

I just bought a 10C Chemex brewer! Already made some coffee using the Tribute blend from Starbucks and it's so good.

 

Now that I have something that can brew good coffee, I'm gonna do some splorin'. Any recommendations in the Southern California area? I'm going to grab a Brazilian Bourbon reserve blend from Starbucks and some Manhatten Mudd from Urth. I'm a big fan of the dark stuff!

[paralyticstalks]

I just bought a 10C Chemex brewer! Already made some coffee using the Tribute blend from Starbucks and it's so good.

Now that I have something that can brew good coffee, I'm gonna do some splorin'. Any recommendations in the Southern California area? I'm going to grab a Brazilian Bourbon reserve blend from Starbucks and some Manhatten Mudd from Urth. I'm a big fan of the dark stuff!

Still repping that Brazil Bourbon Rio Verde from the first post. I have an iced clover brewed almost every day.

[Team Avatar]

You can go to blue mountain jamaica and climb it and all this jazz for approximately $500 including flights.  It's like a 5 day trip or something.  I had to do a project on it and 500 covers everything cause everything is cheap there!

[paralyticstalks]

Just had a Malawai Peaberry as well as a 100% Maui Mokka yesterday. Pleasantly surprised by the Malawai (floral, citrusy, chocolately, and roasty) and disappointed by the Maui (little tiny beans, smells phenomenal, tastes over-roasted. Like kind of burnt).

[thomasj182]

So glad this thread exists! I'm looking into buying a french press, some bags of ground coffee, and a new tumbler so I'd like suggestions if anyone has any. I was looking at caveman coffee, has anyone tried it yet? My favorite type of coffee is dark and strong, any suggestions? The keurig isn't cutting it any more!

[radiatorhums]

So glad this thread exists! I'm looking into buying a french press, some bags of ground coffee, and a new tumbler so I'd like suggestions if anyone has any. I was looking at caveman coffee, has anyone tried it yet? My favorite type of coffee is dark and strong, any suggestions? The keurig isn't cutting it any more!

 

I don't remember if this is the specific grinder I use, but it's similar.  Well worth the money, it made a huge difference compared to my shitty 'spice grinder' one.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Kuissential-Manual-Ceramic-Grinder-Hand-crank/dp/B008YK3IUM/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1409152092&sr=8-6&keywords=burr+grinder

[jdtg]

I've been doing some cold brew lately and have yet to get the correct ratios... Just did 54oz water to 1cup of course ground (about 36hrs) and it seems alright but not as smooth as I've had. I'm not getting flavor depths or smoothness like I've had in coffee shops, although I'm sure their coffee itself is better than I'm using.

[Sugar Shane]

Frappuccinos ruining coffee culture.

Never had one, never will.

[docdasuess]

Taught myself how to roast my own coffee in small batches (usually about a pound during a session. The best coffee I have is La Minita out of Costa Rica. Luckily my local shop carries it and I can get in green beans (normally $7.5/lb vs $18/lb roasted) Guess the family that owns La Minita are super selective about who they sell it too as well. Also if you ever want to try Jamaican Blue Mountain I would recommend going to a Starbucks that has a Clover Machine, it cost $4.5 a cup which is cheaper (by the cup) then if you bought a lb of it there and took it home. They typically get the JBM during the fall so keep an eye out. Also all this talk of Kona has me craving some... gotta hit my local shop to grab some geen beans...

[docdasuess]

I've been doing some cold brew lately and have yet to get the correct ratios... Just did 54oz water to 1cup of course ground (about 36hrs) and it seems alright but not as smooth as I've had. I'm not getting flavor depths or smoothness like I've had in coffee shops, although I'm sure their coffee itself is better than I'm using.

 

I would check out Seaworth Coffee. I have had their stuff and it is awesome. I would recommend looking at how they brew theirs. I have replicated their formula with a ton of success. 

[radiatorhums]

Taught myself how to roast my own coffee in small batches (usually about a pound during a session. The best coffee I have is La Minita out of Costa Rica. Luckily my local shop carries it and I can get in green beans (normally $7.5/lb vs $18/lb roasted) Guess the family that owns La Minita are super selective about who they sell it too as well. Also if you ever want to try Jamaican Blue Mountain I would recommend going to a Starbucks that has a Clover Machine, it cost $4.5 a cup which is cheaper (by the cup) then if you bought a lb of it there and took it home. They typically get the JBM during the fall so keep an eye out. Also all this talk of Kona has me craving some... gotta hit my local shop to grab some geen beans...

 

What kind of equipment do you use to do small batch roasting?

[birdwell]

Not picky about coffee at all, I prefer darker roasts and usually drink it black.

RoomEx (Roomate who is my Ex) prefers lighter roasts and won't drink hot coffee when it's warm out....

So we've got a French Press, I purchased a hand cranked burr-grinder and have been making cold brew for about a week now....no idea if I'm doing it right or wrong, been experimenting with brew times from 10 hours all the way to 26 hours with varying degrees of success....immediately noticed a difference when I purchased slightly nicer beans......also made some infused simple syrups (one with organic cinnamon and one with organic vanilla) using turbinado

The venue I work at does brunch on the weekends and our local coffee roaster in town that we use is great....strictly buys fair trade beans and most of the places he buys from he's actually been to an at least toured.....trying to get him to sell me his product whole-sale to grind and cold brew myself....though it'd still be a decent bit more expensive than what I'm using I'm certain it would harbor better tasting brew

It's been a fun week experimenting and I shall continue to do so

Thought I'd share

[HybridxReality]

So glad this thread exists! I'm looking into buying a french press, some bags of ground coffee, and a new tumbler so I'd like suggestions if anyone has any. I was looking at caveman coffee, has anyone tried it yet? My favorite type of coffee is dark and strong, any suggestions? The keurig isn't cutting it any more!

I've heard of Caveman Coffee from JRE, so I'm assuming it's some damn good coffee.

Haven't had it myself, but try it!

[HybridxReality]

I was drinking black coffee, but I have to have some Sweet n Low to my coffee.

I don't care what kind of coffee it is, black, with cream, milk.

I need it nice and slightly sweet.

I can't stand Starbucks' coffee. Yeah, yeah, fraps are ruining the coffee business, but they taste pretty damn good.

Reason why I can't stand their coffee is that every time I get it, it's so bitter, so I know they didn't dial it in properly. Most likely burnt the damn coffee.

I don't know A LOT about coffee. I just use a simple brewer and generic coffee, but even that tastes better than Starbucks' coffee.

*shrugs*

A French press is on my list, but I never commit.

REALLY curious if it'll make coffee taste much more superior than with a Black & Decker brewer.