CONFESSIONS

[maneatingcow]

I know I talked about my DUI in the Off Topic Thread but I didn't want to add this in their too and interupt their fun.  This is probably a much more apt place to put this anyways.

 

Since my DUI I've spent the last few days going to some DUI forums where people tell their stories.  Reading through that shit I hate myself and all Drunk Drivers even more.  Everyone of the stories is a woe is me, I got a DUI that is just such an injustice.  People with BAC contents of .2 and higher telling their story about how the police were out to get them.  People underage drunk driving complaining about how it's such an injustice, they did use their turn signals so they shouldn't have been pulled over.

 

Fuck it's so infuriating.  You drank.  You got more than tipsy.  You drove.  You endangered others because your stupid or selfish.  Just as I did the same.  I'm a bad person for what I've done, I can admit it.  I need to work towards moving past it.

 

I swear their weren't any stories on those sites where the writer took responsability for their actions.

 

 

 

Here is what I posted as my DUI story -

 

The Confession of a Drunk Driver

In all my life I never thought that I would be that guy.  I never thought that I would be the one walking in a straight line at 3 a.m.  I never thought this would happen to me.  I mean I don't drink often, or typically much.  I'll hit up a concert and have a few beers once a month or so.  Once in a great while at home I'll have a few drinks.  

Well, it happened to me.  I drove drunk.  My night started out with only the best of intentions.  I was going to meet a couple of newer friends in Green Bay, which is about a half hour drive from my house.  The goal was to go out have a few beers and crash at one of their places.  As I said the night started with the best of intentions.  A night filled with the best of intentions can turn so quickly into a night of fragmented memories and a morning of shame and regret.

As the night got going the beers flowed faster and faster.  Once the beers flowed enough the idea of shots somehow sounded like a good idea.  From there all was lost.  I can't tell you much about it as I can only remember bits and pieces.  

What I can tell you about that night is that it began with the best of intentions and ended with me being filled with an abundance of crushing guilt.  Along with that though, I feel an incredible sense of being the luckiest man alive.  I could have hurt someone.  I could have killed someone.  That is something that I thought that I would never say and it sickens me to have to say that.  

So after my ordeal has my opinion of drunk drivers changed?  No.  Absolutely not!  Drunk drivers are scum.  They selfishly place their own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone unlucky enough to be caught in their path.  I should edit that thought; we selfishly place our own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone in our path, because I am now one of them.

What I have learned is that drinking is not for me.  I used it to be able to get myself to be more sociable on a rare occaision I wanted to go out.  However I lack the ability to adequately gauge how much alcohol can affect my actions.  2 beers might get me to step out of my shell a little bit.  4 might get me a bit loose.  6 turns me into someone I don't recognize, into someone I have always hated.
 

So that's my story.  That is how I woke up one day able to look myself in the mirror and know that I'm a (moderately) good person, only to wake up the next day seeing a stranger looking back at me in the mirror.

 

 

 

 

 

Not expecting anyone to take this as a lesson, I just wanted to put it out there. 

[specterXmagic]

i spend like half the time in my classes reading through forums on here (cant believe i just read a good portion of this) and wishing i had money to buy stuff and wishing i was more involved on here  

 

iv also never felt to family orientated or too close with my family even though i feel like they really think i am and it makes me feel pretty bad

[Emo Revival]

I know I talked about my DUI in the Off Topic Thread but I didn't want to add this in their too and interupt their fun.  This is probably a much more apt place to put this anyways.

 

Since my DUI I've spent the last few days going to some DUI forums where people tell their stories.  Reading through that shit I hate myself and all Drunk Drivers even more.  Everyone of the stories is a woe is me, I got a DUI that is just such an injustice.  People with BAC contents of .2 and higher telling their story about how the police were out to get them.  People underage drunk driving complaining about how it's such an injustice, they did use their turn signals so they shouldn't have been pulled over.

 

Fuck it's so infuriating.  You drank.  You got more than tipsy.  You drove.  You endangered others because your stupid or selfish.  Just as I did the same.  I'm a bad person for what I've done, I can admit it.  I need to work towards moving past it.

 

I swear their weren't any stories on those sites where the writer took responsability for their actions.

 

 

 

Here is what I posted as my DUI story -

 

The Confession of a Drunk Driver

In all my life I never thought that I would be that guy.  I never thought that I would be the one walking in a straight line at 3 a.m.  I never thought this would happen to me.  I mean I don't drink often, or typically much.  I'll hit up a concert and have a few beers once a month or so.  Once in a great while at home I'll have a few drinks.  

Well, it happened to me.  I drove drunk.  My night started out with only the best of intentions.  I was going to meet a couple of newer friends in Green Bay, which is about a half hour drive from my house.  The goal was to go out have a few beers and crash at one of their places.  As I said the night started with the best of intentions.  A night filled with the best of intentions can turn so quickly into a night of fragmented memories and a morning of shame and regret.

As the night got going the beers flowed faster and faster.  Once the beers flowed enough the idea of shots somehow sounded like a good idea.  From there all was lost.  I can't tell you much about it as I can only remember bits and pieces.  

What I can tell you about that night is that it began with the best of intentions and ended with me being filled with an abundance of crushing guilt.  Along with that though, I feel an incredible sense of being the luckiest man alive.  I could have hurt someone.  I could have killed someone.  That is something that I thought that I would never say and it sickens me to have to say that.  

So after my ordeal has my opinion of drunk drivers changed?  No.  Absolutely not!  Drunk drivers are scum.  They selfishly place their own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone unlucky enough to be caught in their path.  I should edit that thought; we selfishly place our own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone in our path, because I am now one of them.

What I have learned is that drinking is not for me.  I used it to be able to get myself to be more sociable on a rare occaision I wanted to go out.  However I lack the ability to adequately gauge how much alcohol can affect my actions.  2 beers might get me to step out of my shell a little bit.  4 might get me a bit loose.  6 turns me into someone I don't recognize, into someone I have always hated.

 

So that's my story.  That is how I woke up one day able to look myself in the mirror and know that I'm a (moderately) good person, only to wake up the next day seeing a stranger looking back at me in the mirror.

 

 

 

 

 

Not expecting anyone to take this as a lesson, I just wanted to put it out there. 

I actually do DUI counseling with first time offenders if you ever want to talk 

[maneatingcow]

I actually do DUI counseling with first time offenders if you ever want to talk 

 

Appreciate the offer.  Tomorrow I'm going to be stopping by the local Alcohol Counselors office for a walk in appointment.

 

Trying to do what I can to show how bad I feel about this.  Hopefully it will help with having the Sentence closer to the minimum, but honestly I drove drunk I should get whatever they feel is coming to me.

 

Right now debating getting a lawyer to try and help minimize things, or just plead guilty and ask for as much leniency as they'll give.

[Emo Revival]

Appreciate the offer.  Tomorrow I'm going to be stopping by the local Alcohol Counselors office for a walk in appointment.

 

Trying to do what I can to show how bad I feel about this.  Hopefully it will help with having the Sentence closer to the minimum, but honestly I drove drunk I should get whatever they feel is coming to me.

 

Right now debating getting a lawyer to try and help minimize things, or just plead guilty and ask for as much leniency as they'll give.

 

Yeah I cant say what will work best because every state/judge is different. The people I see are first time offenders who get counseling and then the DUI is wiped from their record.

[maneatingcow]

Yeah I cant say what will work best because every state/judge is different. The people I see are first time offenders who get counseling and then the DUI is wiped from their record.

 

That definitely isn't how Wisconsin works.  I'm just trying to stay ahead of the game as much as possible.  Biggest thing is trying to keep my occupational drivers license. 

 

1st time offense is loss of license for 6-9 months.  Depending on BAC, which I still am not sure what mine was, Ignition Interlock Device.  Over .15 it's a madatory 1 year with the IID.  Fines and penalties.

 

I am reasonably sure when I was at the hospital they said the Breathalizer said that I was at .087.  If that is the case I'm going to try and go to the Prosecutor and see if I can reach a plee where I install the IID for x amount of months and go to counseling for reduction in charges. 

 

 

Don't mistake my trying to reduce the penalties with me feeling like I deserve a lesser penalty.  I'm a terrible person for doing what I did plain and simple.  I'm just going to selfishly try and minimize the damages to me.  I know everyone say that they'll never do it again, but I'll never do it again. 

[laralaurent]

Right now debating getting a lawyer to try and help minimize things, or just plead guilty and ask for as much leniency as they'll give.

Get a lawyer for sure. PD, anything.

But remember, a bad act does not make a bad person, necessarily. You fucked up. We all have - maybe in other ways that others would find equally "deplorable."

Live and learn and constantly better yourself. Good luck with that all.

[vitriol]

Right now debating getting a lawyer to try and help minimize things, or just plead guilty and ask for as much leniency as they'll give.

Do not use your hard-earned money on a lawyer. You'll have plenty of fines to pay as it is. If you really feel like you need legal representation, opt for a public defender. They will be just as good, if not better, than any legal counsel you retain.

I work in criminal law and wanted to throw in my two cents before you waste the money.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.

[Shitty Rambo]

yeah very true, definitely seen that there are plenty of anxious/depressed people on VC but I'd agree most of us are pretty fucking cool

The ETE board feels like a completely different community on it's own, and everyone who frequents them are fucked up in their own beautiful way. There's a lot of honesty here and people who give a damn about others they've never met in person. It's the glue that holds this community together.

Also kudos for coming out dude. Can't imagine how heavy of a weight that was on your chest.

[Guest]

I was in the front seat when my friend, the 'designated driver' (wasted) swerved into oncoming traffic and almost smashed into A COP CAR. I was semi passed out, and I came to as my friend in the back was screaming.

Long story short, my friend was taken to jail that night, and went trough the next 6 months of court dates and whatnot. Her aunt was a sheriff and got all the charges dropped, but she learned her lesson and she's very lucky her entire future wasn't fucked up.

I still feel like an idiot getting in the car with her, everyone in the car was at fault that night.

[Shitty Rambo]

I was in the front seat when my friend, the 'designated driver' (wasted) swerved into oncoming traffic and almost smashed into A COP CAR. I was semi passed out, and I came to as my friend in the back was screaming.

Long story short, my friend was taken to jail that night, and went trough the next 6 months of court dates and whatnot. Her aunt was a sheriff and got all the charges dropped, but she learned her lesson and she's very lucky her entire future wasn't fucked up.

I still feel like an idiot getting in the car with her, everyone in the car was at fault that night.

Car accidents are no joke. I'll give you guys some dark shit, the 5th would have been my big sister's 29th birthday. She lost control of her car, New Year's Eve 2010-2011. She wasn't drinking, but she also wasn't wearing her seat belt. In an instant all of our lives changed, and the only positive role model I had won't be coming home on Christmas ever again. My cousin Steven and his wife were riding his bike home from the bar last weekend, he wrecked and died on impact, she broke her back. She'll probably never walk again. It's fucking terrifying how bad the slightest hiccup while on the road could derail your life. I know we all make mistakes but I'd hate to see any of you go through this same shit, or worse, have it happen to any of you. We're all young/angsty assholes, but calling a cab doesn't discredit your punk-rockability. Be safe out there, and tell the people you love that you do as much as you can.

[maneatingcow]

Car accidents are no joke. I'll give you guys some dark shit, the 5th would have been my big sister's 29th birthday. She lost control of her car, New Year's Eve 2010-2011. She wasn't drinking, but she also wasn't wearing her seat belt. In an instant all of our lives changed, and the only positive role model I had won't be coming home on Christmas ever again. My cousin Steven and his wife were riding his bike home from the bar last weekend, he wrecked and died on impact, she broke her back. She'll probably never walk again. It's fucking terrifying how bad the slightest hiccup while on the road could derail your life. I know we all make mistakes but I'd hate to see any of you go through this same shit, or worse, have it happen to any of you. We're all young/angsty assholes, but calling a cab doesn't discredit your punk-rockability. Be safe out there, and tell the people you love that you do as much as you can.

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  That's some terrible shit.

[maneatingcow]

Do not use your hard-earned money on a lawyer. You'll have plenty of fines to pay as it is. If you really feel like you need legal representation, opt for a public defender. They will be just as good, if not better, than any legal counsel you retain.

I work in criminal law and wanted to throw in my two cents before you waste the money.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.

Thanks for your input.

 

Wisconsin doesn't allow for public defenders for 1st offense OWI.  At least that's what I've been reading.  It's the only state that 1st Offense OWI is considered a Traffic Citation instead of a criminal matter.  Therefore public defenders aren't used. 

[Satan]

Thanks for your input.

Wisconsin doesn't allow for public defenders for 1st offense OWI. At least that's what I've been reading. It's the only state that 1st Offense OWI is considered a Traffic Citation instead of a criminal matter. Therefore public defenders aren't used.

Citation, like speeding ticket .citation?? Wow. That's certainly a new one

[maneatingcow]

Citation, like speeding ticket .citation?? Wow. That's certainly a new one

Yeah it's treated in the same manner as a speeding ticket.  Thats Wisconsin for ya.

 

The penalties are still moderate in comparison to other states.  Mandatory 6-9 month license suspension.  About $2500 in fines.  Another $2000 in Drivers classes needed to be taken.  If your BAC is .15 or higher 1 year of Ignition Interlock Device installed in your car.  They do allow for an occupational license though, thats the biggest thing I'm worried about.  There are other stipulations, if you have minor in the car with you penalties go up dramatically. 

 

I know theirs more but thats the basics.

[Bladewillisisdead]

CONFESSION: I drove sorta drunk once. About 5 years ago I drove my friends to a party. Decided since we were going to be there all night it would be ok to play a couple games of beer pong. Dumb, I know. But I had two beers in the first hour we were there and then decided to chill. One of our other friends showed up and had just gotten back from visiting family in Mexico. He insisted we do a tequila shot with him because he got some good shit from Mexico. I figure the night was young and I had a few hours before driving, so got swept up in the comraderie and did a shot. About 15 minutes later someone showed up with some friends of a friend and they were being a bunch of rowdy douche assholes. My friends all wanted to bail. I protested and wanted to wait another hour. My friends all insisted I was fine. "Dude, you drank two beers over an hour ago, you're fine." I felt fine. So after a brief argument I decided to go. Drove back to my friends' neighborhood. Got out of the car and realized I was not ok and promptly threw up everywhere.

 

 

I still feel like a huge piece of shit when I think about it. But one of my friends puked in my backseat and to this day no one has owned up to it. A small price to pay for us all to get home safe I guess. Now if I have so much as a beer I refuse to get behind the wheel.

[The Vool]

Ah, one more:

 

- At times, I blame myself for the following : In december 2010, I was writing my Master's thesis and stayed at the place of my parents. I woke up one morning and was confused that my parents left the house so early. After a few calls, they told me they're on their way to the hospital because my dad's best friend died. He was almost an uncle to me; I was speechless to hear he died. My mom told me to visit a friend and get a free mind. I went to a friend’s house and came back home at around 18:00; pretty dark in December. I noticed that the door in the kitchen to the garden was open; well, only the knob was turned open. First, I thought I forgot to close it in my confusion after hearing the sad news, so I closed the door. I was writing a bit on the laptop for my thesis, watched TV and then wanted to take a shower. I went upstairs and saw (through part of the door) that some of my parents’ clothes were put on the bed…looked messy; but I thought they were in a hurry and threw everything on the bed. I should have been skeptical at this moment, latest!

 I got myself some clothes from the shelf and went for a shower downstairs. Coming out of the shower I saw that the door was open again…the fuckin’ two hours between my arrival at home and coming out of the shower, there was a freakin’ burglar at our house! He stole gold amounting to around 350.000€ which had way higher/greater nonmaterial value to my mom …I still blame myself for not calling the police earlier (after I saw the open door) or kick the shit out of this jerk when he was still in the house (on the other hand, it seemed like he had really brutal tools to open the safe, so he’d probably killed me with this…)

[Bladew1ll1s1sdead]

- I would probably hate most of you folks in real life and either make fun of your music taste or break your nose if I should ever meet you

This sounds like something I'd see in a 15-16 year olds tumblr bio.

[Guest]

If you're thinking about ways to betray your fiancé and hide it you probably shouldn't make her your wife.

[caninesapien]

Ah, one more:

 

- At times, I blame myself for the following : In december 2010, I was writing my Master's thesis and stayed at the place of my parents. I woke up one morning and was confused that my parents left the house so early. After a few calls, they told me they're on their way to the hospital because my dad's best friend died. He was almost an uncle to me; I was speechless to hear he died. My mom told me to visit a friend and get a free mind. I went to a friend’s house and came back home at around 18:00; pretty dark in December. I noticed that the door in the kitchen to the garden was open; well, only the knob was turned open. First, I thought I forgot to close it in my confusion after hearing the sad news, so I closed the door. I was writing a bit on the laptop for my thesis, watched TV and then wanted to take a shower. I went upstairs and saw (through part of the door) that some of my parents’ clothes were put on the bed…looked messy; but I thought they were in a hurry and threw everything on the bed. I should have been skeptical at this moment, latest!

 I got myself some clothes from the shelf and went for a shower downstairs. Coming out of the shower I saw that the door was open again…the fuckin’ two hours between my arrival at home and coming out of the shower, there was a freakin’ burglar at our house! He stole gold amounting to around 350.000€ which had way higher/greater nonmaterial value to my mom …I still blame myself for not calling the police earlier (after I saw the open door) or kick the shit out of this jerk when he was still in the house (on the other hand, it seemed like he had really brutal tools to open the safe, so he’d probably killed me with this…)

 

Oh no, that sounds like a really fucking shitty situation. Sorry you had to go through that. Hope all is good with you and your folks now.

[The Vool]

If you're thinking about ways to betray your fiancé and hide it you probably shouldn't make her your wife.

 

No, maybe I stated this wrongly...I'm not looking for/going to betray her; it's more about drafting a plan (that I won't realise at all)...basically, I could have talked about drafting a plan on another topic. But it's most of the time this scenario...

 

Oh no, that sounds like a really fucking shitty situation. Sorry you had to go through that. Hope all is good with you and your folks now.

 

It was just a fucking werid situation...my mom is still somewhat shocked/sad and can't stay at home alone. I find myself imagining quite often  how things would have turned out if I acted/reacted somewhat different

[Shitty Rambo]

If you're thinking about ways to betray your fiancé and hide it you probably shouldn't make her your wife.

"When you cheat on the girls in your life, man, that shit comes right back and it bites you." - End Of A Year

I think Sasan is just saying on a primal level he feels like he could probably get away with it, not that he is going to. I'd both guys and girls have these thoughts (and would never actually do that to their partner), he just feels guilty about it. I think. I don't know. I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth.

[Guest]

There's nothing wrong with having a connection with someone else or finding someone else sexy/attractive while you're in a relationship. It's going to happen for sure. Just the way he worded it threw me off a bit I guess. I feel like a dude in a healthy relationship wouldn't be planning out ways to cheat and get away with it.

No offense sasan, I just feel like I'm interpreting what you said differently.

[circuit bored records]

- I've never betrayed my fiancé but sometimes I'm thinking about how I would do it and what would be the best way to keep it secret.

- At times I'm dreaming of humping her cousin who turned 19 this year. She's super hot!

 

- I would probably hate most of you folks in real life and either make fun of your music taste or break your nose if I should ever meet you

 

Sorry...

You are a douchebag.

[Guest]

Holy shit I totally missed the part where he talked about humping his fiancés 19 yr old cousin. Jesus.