Satan Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 there's a ski resort in vermont that has 3 brewfests a year. so for a long stretch, we had a streak going; where at least one person from the group got laid. for my first one, my girlfriend at the time came along. having heard all of the debauchery that took place during the festivals of yore, we were pretty much up for the challenge. so after a few drinks, we're leaving the bathrooms, and my friend points and says "you see that janitor's closet? it was unlocked one time, and i banged some girl in there." to which i responded, "oh this janitor's closet that's still unlocked right now? let's go babe." if this is it, im going to be very upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 For that, yes. I mean, it was a high-traffic hallway that they closet was off of. But later that day, we all snuck into the resort's pool area- which we've found a way to do every single time we've gone. But it's amazing that we get away with it after this. By the time we generally reach the pool, we're about 9 strong beers in. So without regard for any of the *families* around, we ignored the fact that none of us had bathing suits.. just jumped in wearing our skivies. Got in the hot tub, and she was just on me. Security eventually came along and shooed us off, as I galloped half-staff to the locker room. From there, we dropped off our friends at a restaurant, and fucked in the back seat of my two-door back by the dumpsters. Still not sure how we pulled that off, because the next two times I tried to get it on back there, it was a complete failure. i mentioned how someone always gets laid during these. a couple other quickies from them: one friend blacking out for 6+ hours and coming to during sex with a complete stranger. and while that was happening, another friend found his way to some magical mystery mansion where everyone was drunk and everything was beautiful. have not been able to relocate to this day. aforementioned friend also got head on a resort balcony overlooking the festival. and i failed miserably trying to convince two 30-somethings to come back and have a menage. i swore i had it locked up too.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtcohenour Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 Went to North Carolina over the Summer with my immediate family and invited my girlfriend along. We had a beach house rented out and a walkway from the house down to the beach with wooden chairs at the end. Nightfall came and we snuck out there and started doin' it on the chairs under the stars. I saw a shooting star in the middle of it which was nuts, cause like how many people can say they saw a shooting star in the middle of fuckin someone? But that's besides the point There was another couple out there on the beach maybe 20 feet from us that we didn't even realize were there at first. But the dude decides to start looking for crabs (cue STD joke) on the beach, and starts shining his flashlight all over, walks maybe 5 feet from us, and shines it directly on us 3 or 4 times. I'm literally inside of my girlfriend when she goes "Uh, HELLO?!" at the guy and he points his flashlight at us again and goes "Oh! Sorry!" like he didn't know we were there. Then he awkwardly went back over to his girlfriend and they started a fire and we finished fuckin' still 10 feet away from them. I'm surprised he didn't run after being that embarassed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted November 24, 2013 Share Posted November 24, 2013 well after my year and a half dry spell, looks like im about to get laid TWICE in one weekend! brandy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Damn son. Get it innnnnnnnnnnnn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abovetheearth Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 well after my year and a half dry spell, looks like im about to get laid TWICE in one weekend! Get you a powerball ticket homes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 No use, his luck's run out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 another friend found his way to some magical mystery mansion where everyone was drunk and everything was beautiful. have not been able to relocate to this day. i must know more of this sacred place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 It's the real-life Gatsby mansion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Get you a powerball ticket homes oh she got the powerball. The Saint, entendu and knifeparty 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbobrando Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Admittedly aforementioned girlfriend and aforementioned manager made out a few times after me and her broke up. He was telling her he'd leave his wife for her and blah blah. Soooo fucking around with his wife was my revenge. ps the invite to New York was to go to A Molly ringwald book signing, lol. Should've went. Before you knew it, you'd be hooking up with Ringwald. The reason being... Something about book stores man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtcohenour Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 So I saw this sticker at a concert last night, I think its a band. It made me think of this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 i actually put that there for you. it was the most intricate piece of your ss package! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isavedlatin54 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Ok so I think I have a story...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isavedlatin54 Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Ugh ok so I'm not proud of this, but it's too funny to me to not share..... So about 4 years ago I was out drinking in my home town and I was getting flirty with this woman, who was about 40. We were outside smoking a cigarette leaning on my car and she asked why I had a handicapped plate and I told her I was missing my legs and had fake ones. So she asked if I was a veteran, which happens far too often. I told her I was not. So the night went on we chatted and all that jazz.smoked more and literally asked me like 3 more times if I was a veteran.. And I kept saying no. So it's last call and she leans over and says "I want to suck your dick" We make our way to her tiny car and get In her back seat.... Now mind you I have fake legs that don't bend well. So I'm tangled up like a fucking pretzel and she starts going to town. Right after my moment of climax and with a full mouth says "thank you for serving our country" I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. suchashorttime, agaetisbyrjun, turbobrando and 11 others 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 What the fuck. PS, going to hang with a girl who I've crushed over since high school on Saturday. I've found that every woman I like is a) a flaming redhead b ) tattooed and pierced c) a photographer or other art school grad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodybrokeurheart Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 That story was the thread winner in my book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 What the fuck. PS, going to hang with a girl who I've crushed over since high school on Saturday. I've found that every woman I like is a) a flaming redhead b ) tattooed and pierced c) a photographer or other art school grad you're telling us this because you're going to come back with some fucked up kinky sex story...right? mcguirk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drewberinger Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Ugh ok so I'm not proud of this, but it's too funny to me to not share..... So about 4 years ago I was out drinking in my home town and I was getting flirty with this woman, who was about 40. We were outside smoking a cigarette leaning on my car and she asked why I had a handicapped plate and I told her I was missing my legs and had fake ones. So she asked if I was a veteran, which happens far too often. I told her I was not. So the night went on we chatted and all that jazz.smoked more and literally asked me like 3 more times if I was a veteran.. And I kept saying no. So it's last call and she leans over and says "I want to suck your dick" We make our way to her tiny car and get In her back seat.... Now mind you I have fake legs that don't bend well. So I'm tangled up like a fucking pretzel and she starts going to town. Right after my moment of climax and with a full mouth says "thank you for serving our country" I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 you're telling us this because you're going to come back with some fucked up kinky sex story...right? Yeah of course dude. What do you suggest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parkinglot Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Yeah of course dude. What do you suggest? well i'm not suggesting anything but if we let VC weigh in we all know what the answer would be. blumpkin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcguirk Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Is the "country blumpkin" a valid alternative? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
castaway Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 That is a tattoo of a creature receiving a blumpkin. I've seen it all now, folks. sjb2k1 and thejesseb 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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