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MAN ADVICE v2.0


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half hour before she was supposed to come over tonight "super vague, but something just came up and i can't come. i'll explain later."

 

at this point, she's probably just run out of her usual excuses and doesn't know what to hit me with.

 

fucking dammit. i haven't even had to opportunity to invest this much time into someone in years, and she's just flaking away.

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Ummmm you got messaged by a bot and fell into their trap.  sorry dude but don't regret anything because you would have had to ultimately pay money for something.

This is actually a major relief.  I'm kinda glad I didn't do anything, hahahaha

 

bots need loving too.

 

I've had that same exact message and you guys are right. That post is pretty embarrassing in hindsight I bet.

Not embarrassed at all.  Mostly relieved that it's not real.  Because if so, that's majorly fucked up.

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immediately, as in one of their first messages.  The likelihood that anyone messages immediately with "hey boy whats your # lets go to the rodeo" as their first message and isn't a bot is slim.

 

 

 

5 minutes of talking is definitely fast enough to determine whether or not someone is real at which point, let the use cases be known!

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So I've been hanging a lot with someone who is four years older than I, and we've been pretty close and stuff.  We really bond over only one thing - and that is that we're both vegan.  I think we've hung out in person 5 or 6 times in the past two weeks, and well it's great except we often sit in silence when we are hanging out.  I don't usually have a problem getting people to laugh or talk or open up but for some reason I can't connect with her like that in person.  When I say "open up" - I don't mean like tell me things.  I know a lot about her life and a lot about her in general, what she likes, doesn't like, all of her horrible exs - I mean if we were both sitting together the conversation dies quickly.

 

What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Try and find a different way to connect?  I think, from the humor part of things, that she doesn't like corny humor / puns at all and thats my go to.

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So I've been hanging a lot with someone who is four years older than I, and we've been pretty close and stuff.  We really bond over only one thing - and that is that we're both vegan.  I think we've hung out in person 5 or 6 times in the past two weeks, and well it's great except we often sit in silence when we are hanging out.  I don't usually have a problem getting people to laugh or talk or open up but for some reason I can't connect with her like that in person.  When I say "open up" - I don't mean like tell me things.  I know a lot about her life and a lot about her in general, what she likes, doesn't like, all of her horrible exs - I mean if we were both sitting together the conversation dies quickly.

 

What am I supposed to do in this situation?  Try and find a different way to connect?  I think, from the humor part of things, that she doesn't like corny humor / puns at all and thats my go to.

 

 

Some people don't have a problem sitting in silence.  Maybe instead of figuring out how to get her to talk, you need to figure out how to not-talk.

 

It's kind of interesting that you mention the smallish age difference.  is that significant to you?

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Some people don't have a problem sitting in silence.  Maybe instead of figuring out how to get her to talk, you need to figure out how to not-talk.

 

It's kind of interesting that you mention the smallish age difference.  is that significant to you?

 

I'm 24, and I've never ever been anything with anyone who was younger than I.  Like 99% of girls I've talked to as such have been 2 years younger.  It terrified me at first because I built up this idea that she was going to judge me for things I did or think down on me or that she was just going to be different since she was older than me.  I know this is insane and I don't think I do it anymore at all, as I don't really think about her age much, but maybe I do and maybe that is why I mentioned it.

 

We are at different places in our lives though - as a few months ago she got out of a relationship with someone who she was going to marry and she has said she isn't rushing anything because she's not ready (but then she came over later that night and we rushed)...

 

 

edit: i realized I didn't acknowledge the other part of what you said.  I think I do need to learn how to not-talk.  Like that pulp fiction scene.

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edit: i realized I didn't acknowledge the other part of what you said.  I think I do need to learn how to not-talk.  Like that pulp fiction scene.

 

It's not easy to have the comfortable silence with just anyone. I had a friend that passed away some years back, and he was the only person I could ever share a comfortable silence with. Sometimes we would sit for 45 minutes or so just gathering our thoughts or whatever, and I've never been able to do that with anyone since. 

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There's only so much two people can talk about. Like others have said, try to enjoy the silence even though it's not the easiest thing. If you're looking for more conversation then find something to go do or go see that would spark something.

Side note, how can someone not be into puns and corny jokes?

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Side note, how can someone not be into puns and corny jokes?

 

Give me fart jokes all day, but leave your puns at the door.

 

 

 

There is a world of difference between comfortable silence and silence because two people don't connect.

The fact that you have to ask makes me wonder if your situation leans towards the latter.

 

Some people are naturally quiet. 

Some people take longer to loosen up.

Some people don't like puns. They're not that great, guys.

 

Don't force it.

Let her be her, and give her time. 

Learn to enjoy the silence. If this is how she is now, even after she 'opens up' she will still probably sway towards the quiet side.

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Always save the bad puns until you know a person. I once found out that a girl couldn't stand them because her ex used to make them all the time. Except he thought they were the height of comedy, took them seriously, and would get MAD when she didn't laugh at his "genius"

Intentionally bad puns can be fun, but don't take yourself seriously.

And yeah, try to figure out what type of silence it is. Being able to say nothing to a potential partner is very important, but it could also be a "we're not connecting" silence.

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