CONFESSIONS

[jtcohenour]

^jt...... Gotcha....but yes they would likely be upset

New confession......i find communication that I can't read body language/facial expression/tone to be very frustrating at times.

GO DUCKS!

 

They say 2/3 of communication is non-verbal!

[circuit bored records]

One of the things that always stuck with me from a communications course in college is the professor introduced a study in which it was proven that if you're trying to win an argument, people will be persuaded by three things: "words, music, and dance" and the importance of each category.

Words - 7% - the actual choice of words you use

Music - 35% - the way you say it, tone of voice, inflection, etc.

Dance - 58% - body language -- excitement at appropriate times, not slouching or hands in pocket, etc.

Not sure how much truth there was behind it but like I said, it just always stuck with me.

[jtcohenour]

Interesting

 

One of the things that always stuck with me from a communications course in college is the professor introduced a study in which it was proven that if you're trying to win an argument, people will be persuaded by three things: "words, music, and dance" and the importance of each category.

Words - 7% - the actual choice of words you use
Music - 35% - the way you say it, tone of voice, inflection, etc.
Dance - 58% - body language -- excitement at appropriate times, not slouching or hands in pocket, etc.

Not sure how much truth there was behind it but like I said, it just always stuck with me.

 

Good stuff.

[kriss]

posted this on Facebook earlier. I know I don't post much around here anymore, but this is as much a confession as any, right?

 

I'm going to go ahead and put this out there in a public manner after countless years of private deliberation and thought and questioning - and if you feel the need to cut off ties with me, you are more than welcome to, though, I would prefer to retain the friendship of all of you:

I am pangender. 

This has raised questions to a few that I have spoken privately to about this, though to most who know me in a closer way, this shouldn't be a surprise at all. What is pangender? Most equate it to the trans category of which this is not. In short, pangender is the eschewing largely of identification with either of the two hard binary genders. I've never since I've been able to re-collect things from childhood been comfortable fully as a male, but at the same time, have never had a desire to identify as female, despite largely taking influence and queues from feminine sources. Consequently, I've always felt comfortable somewhere in the middle. Biologically, I am still a male, of course - but 'gender' and 'sex' are two separate things. The relationship I've been in for quite some time is still very much intact and this is not a sexual thing at all - just a coming to terms with who I am and that I cannot subscribe to a hard binary gender code now, nor have I ever been able to (maybe it started when I found, at the age of 4, that out of the entire cast of the 60's Batman series, Julie Newmar was the one I idolized the most).

In reality, this changes very little, if nothing at all, in how I view my friendships and relationships with people. My only request is that those of you are respectful enough to do so, please refer to me in terms of "they", "their", "them", etc. I understand how this adjustment will likely take years as I've spent my life going by "he", "him", etc, despite my near constant discomfort with it (I took on the spelling "Kriss" in early high school due to distaste for the more male derived "Christopher" I was given at birth).

This has been fairly difficult for me to write out, partially because it's so very public and because there's a part of me that's genuinely worried that there will be some who will now view me as some kind of freak. I certainly hope that's not the case, though I except that as it comes in the event that it does. This has been a source of struggle, in particular, over the last several weeks, as I've come to realize that I need to embrace and accept this after so long trying to ignore it - for those of you whom I've been short or testy with, I apologize. Now you know why. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being rad!

[Guest]

WOOOOOOOOO! SHIT YEAH, KRISS! YOU GO, YOU!

[Guest realtalk]

posted this on Facebook earlier. I know I don't post much around here anymore, but this is as much a confession as any, right?

 

I'm going to go ahead and put this out there in a public manner after countless years of private deliberation and thought and questioning - and if you feel the need to cut off ties with me, you are more than welcome to, though, I would prefer to retain the friendship of all of you:

I am pangender. 

This has raised questions to a few that I have spoken privately to about this, though to most who know me in a closer way, this shouldn't be a surprise at all. What is pangender? Most equate it to the trans category of which this is not. In short, pangender is the eschewing largely of identification with either of the two hard binary genders. I've never since I've been able to re-collect things from childhood been comfortable fully as a male, but at the same time, have never had a desire to identify as female, despite largely taking influence and queues from feminine sources. Consequently, I've always felt comfortable somewhere in the middle. Biologically, I am still a male, of course - but 'gender' and 'sex' are two separate things. The relationship I've been in for quite some time is still very much intact and this is not a sexual thing at all - just a coming to terms with who I am and that I cannot subscribe to a hard binary gender code now, nor have I ever been able to (maybe it started when I found, at the age of 4, that out of the entire cast of the 60's Batman series, Julie Newmar was the one I idolized the most).

In reality, this changes very little, if nothing at all, in how I view my friendships and relationships with people. My only request is that those of you are respectful enough to do so, please refer to me in terms of "they", "their", "them", etc. I understand how this adjustment will likely take years as I've spent my life going by "he", "him", etc, despite my near constant discomfort with it (I took on the spelling "Kriss" in early high school due to distaste for the more male derived "Christopher" I was given at birth).

This has been fairly difficult for me to write out, partially because it's so very public and because there's a part of me that's genuinely worried that there will be some who will now view me as some kind of freak. I certainly hope that's not the case, though I except that as it comes in the event that it does. This has been a source of struggle, in particular, over the last several weeks, as I've come to realize that I need to embrace and accept this after so long trying to ignore it - for those of you whom I've been short or testy with, I apologize. Now you know why. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being rad!

 

Very brave.  Nothing but respect.

[maneatingcow]

Kriss, much respect.  I have all the respect in the world for you to openly state who you are. 

 

To be honest the concept of pangender is somethign completely new to me, but that is just an acknowledgement of my ignorance.  At some point I'll have to hop on the google machine and learn a bit more about it.

[seangj]

Kriss, much respect.  I have all the respect in the world for you to openly state who you are. 

 

To be honest the concept of pangender is somethign completely new to me, but that is just an acknowledgement of my ignorance.  At some point I'll have to hop on the google machine and learn a bit more about it.

 

This.

[abovetheearth]

Kriss, much respect.  I have all the respect in the world for you to openly state who you are. 

 

To be honest the concept of pangender is somethign completely new to me, but that is just an acknowledgement of my ignorance.  At some point I'll have to hop on the google machine and learn a bit more about it.

 

also this

[SeeMoreGlass]

posted this on Facebook earlier. I know I don't post much around here anymore, but this is as much a confession as any, right?

 

I'm going to go ahead and put this out there in a public manner after countless years of private deliberation and thought and questioning - and if you feel the need to cut off ties with me, you are more than welcome to, though, I would prefer to retain the friendship of all of you:

I am pangender. 

This has raised questions to a few that I have spoken privately to about this, though to most who know me in a closer way, this shouldn't be a surprise at all. What is pangender? Most equate it to the trans category of which this is not. In short, pangender is the eschewing largely of identification with either of the two hard binary genders. I've never since I've been able to re-collect things from childhood been comfortable fully as a male, but at the same time, have never had a desire to identify as female, despite largely taking influence and queues from feminine sources. Consequently, I've always felt comfortable somewhere in the middle. Biologically, I am still a male, of course - but 'gender' and 'sex' are two separate things. The relationship I've been in for quite some time is still very much intact and this is not a sexual thing at all - just a coming to terms with who I am and that I cannot subscribe to a hard binary gender code now, nor have I ever been able to (maybe it started when I found, at the age of 4, that out of the entire cast of the 60's Batman series, Julie Newmar was the one I idolized the most).

In reality, this changes very little, if nothing at all, in how I view my friendships and relationships with people. My only request is that those of you are respectful enough to do so, please refer to me in terms of "they", "their", "them", etc. I understand how this adjustment will likely take years as I've spent my life going by "he", "him", etc, despite my near constant discomfort with it (I took on the spelling "Kriss" in early high school due to distaste for the more male derived "Christopher" I was given at birth).

This has been fairly difficult for me to write out, partially because it's so very public and because there's a part of me that's genuinely worried that there will be some who will now view me as some kind of freak. I certainly hope that's not the case, though I except that as it comes in the event that it does. This has been a source of struggle, in particular, over the last several weeks, as I've come to realize that I need to embrace and accept this after so long trying to ignore it - for those of you whom I've been short or testy with, I apologize. Now you know why. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being rad!

 

Amazing,

 

My sister recently just identified as Pangender and I have noticed a huge change in her since she is starting to feel more comfortable with who she is. 

 

Her and her girlfriend are about to celebrate their 1 year anniversary in a few days...which is fucking awesome...

 

Sadly, my parents have no idea about any of it and I don't think she will ever tell them, so this will forever be the giant elephant in the middle of the thanksgiving dinner table. I have made it abundantly clear though that if she ever decides to tell them I am behind her 100%. 

[GradedOnACurve]

posted this on Facebook earlier. I know I don't post much around here anymore, but this is as much a confession as any, right?

 

I'm going to go ahead and put this out there in a public manner after countless years of private deliberation and thought and questioning - and if you feel the need to cut off ties with me, you are more than welcome to, though, I would prefer to retain the friendship of all of you:[/size]I am pangender. [/size]This has raised questions to a few that I have spoken privately to about this, though to most who [/size]know me in a closer way, this shouldn't be a surprise at all. What is pangender? Most equate it to the trans category of which this is not. In short, pangender is the eschewing largely of identification with either of the two hard binary genders. I've never since I've been able to re-collect things from childhood been comfortable fully as a male, but at the same time, have never had a desire to identify as female, despite largely taking influence and queues from feminine sources. Consequently, I've always felt comfortable somewhere in the middle. Biologically, I am still a male, of course - but 'gender' and 'sex' are two separate things. The relationship I've been in for quite some time is still very much intact and this is not a sexual thing at all - just a coming to terms with who I am and that I cannot subscribe to a hard binary gender code now, nor have I ever been able to (maybe it started when I found, at the age of 4, that out of the entire cast of the 60's Batman series, Julie Newmar was the one I idolized the most).

In reality, this changes very little, if nothing at all, in how I view my friendships and relationships with people. My only request is that those of you are respectful enough to do so, please refer to me in terms of "they", "their", "them", etc. I understand how this adjustment will likely take years as I've spent my life going by "he", "him", etc, despite my near constant discomfort with it (I took on the spelling "Kriss" in early high school due to distaste for the more male derived "Christopher" I was given at birth).

This has been fairly difficult for me to write out, partially because it's so very public and because there's a part of me that's genuinely worried that there will be some who will now view me as some kind of freak. I certainly hope that's not the case, though I except that as it comes in the event that it does. This has been a source of struggle, in particular, over the last several weeks, as I've come to realize that I need to embrace and accept this after so long trying to ignore it - for those of you whom I've been short or testy with, I apologize. Now you know why. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being rad![/size]

All that matters is that you are comfortable with who you are. Excellent.

[jtcohenour]

All that matters is that you are comfortable with who you are. Excellent.

[monsterrod]

Congratulations, Kriss.

[laralaurent]

Kriss, one of my favorite quotes applies here:

 

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." ee Cummings.

 

It takes a brave person to stand up for yourself, especially when you know you're in the minority.  But stay true and live your life the way you want.  It's yours, not ours.  Wish you the best!

[kriss]

Thank you, friends, for the supportive and beyond kinds words! I've been amazed at the flood of support I've gotten over the last couple of days across all friends circles both online and irl!

I'm going in for the first of several sessions to have laser treatment to remove all facial hair and such in early November. This is likely one of the only more extreme measures I'll be taking as I'm more working towards becoming androgynous in keeping between the two chief binary genders. I'll update as time goes on.

[jerseydave77]

An old friend of mine was found dead yesterday. I'm not even over losing my cousin a couple months back. My man was possibly the kindest soul I've ever called a friend. We traveled all over in his shitty van that had seats that didn't actually attach to the floor. He loved bass music and jam bands - he might be the only hippy I've ever really been intimate friends with. He got me to listen to The Dead and I got him to listen to Op Ivy. We traveled the road of life together and came of age on the highways of NJ. The good times, the salad days. Life was always breezier with him and losing him in a moment where life feels too busy to breath makes me question what's really important. I thought I'd found balance and I realize now I haven't. The Jersey Shore is a little less kind today and for that we cry. 

[billya]

My condolences for you loss, Dave.

[futures]

Aww I'm so sorry Dave.

[seangj]

Man. I'm sorry Dave.

[jerseydave77]

You know gang - to give a little light, I've been opening the door to my life a bit and allowing new folks in. Been meeting nice people to run and swim with and it's cool to have some fresh faces. They don't replace those that have left, no one can replace the people you came of age with, but as life moves on it's harder and harder to find solid connections socially and I'm on a roll in that regard. Miss the dude already though - people coming out of the woodwork to talk again and I'm sad to again find tragedy as the great unifier among our core group. 

[BuzzersonKillwell]

That is a tough series Dave. 

 

Best wishes. 

[jtcohenour]

Sorry to hear about your loss Dave

[laralaurent]

You know gang - to give a little light, I've been opening the door to my life a bit and allowing new folks in. Been meeting nice people to run and swim with and it's cool to have some fresh faces. They don't replace those that have left, no one can replace the people you came of age with, but as life moves on it's harder and harder to find solid connections socially and I'm on a roll in that regard. Miss the dude already though - people coming out of the woodwork to talk again and I'm sad to again find tragedy as the great unifier among our core group. 

 

First, Dave, super sorry for your loss.  My brother's best friend, who was a second brother to me, was killed last year.  So I know what it feels like to lose someone close to you so suddenly. It's not an easy ride but I found my priorities were put into perspective.  Now, nothing really fazes me unless my friends or family are sick or hurt.  And all his friends came together to celebrate his life instead of a complete association with sadness and a lot of us are now friends that never were.  It's something we'd all trade to have him back, obviously, but us all being together keeps those jimmy stories well alive.

[Guest]

when it comes to birthday presents, i do really well in theory. but i'm a *complete* failure in delivery.

[controlthebleeding]

sorry about your friend dave. my condolences.