ronniegwilliams Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Coming out as trans. I came out to my Chicago friends last May because of Laura, and their reactions to her coming out. There are only two members of my family, though, that know about it outside of my wife. Once I get the financial house in better shape, that's when I'm telling my parents, 'cause that means we'll be out of their basement, and I don't have to worry about not having a place to live with my wife and child. (probably an irrational fear, but like Hell I want to find out if they'd be too disgusted with me that they'll kick me out of the house before we can afford to live somewhere on our own.) Yeah, it was. 'sall good. I don't even know if I'm welcome there anymore. (for completely different reasons than this, but still, I haven't even logged in in so long.) _____________ But yeah, I'm not on any meds for this yet. Emily (my wife for those who were wondering who the conversation is with in my signature) and I are staying together and want one more kiddo before I go down that road, 'cause while we had older siblings, we essentially grew up as only children because of the age gaps in the family. Neither of us think that did us any favors. I'm looking into the permanence of laser hair removal on my face and whether or not the shit will grow back in the time before I start on anything else, 'cause I am losing my mind shaving. I used to have a big ol' mountain man beard, but it was basically so I wouldn't have to look at my jawline, and the lower portion of my face in general. I got to meet Laura on that tour AM! did with the Cult when they hit Chicago, and I just started crying before "thank you" even got fully past my lips. Lots of hugging and crying and I am a loser. There, you all get that and now you know why I knew some much about the effects of female hormones for transgender ladies in that post that heralded Laura's coming out. You're not a loser at all. You met somebody that has become an icon for a tough change that you are going through, so it's completely understandable that you would become emotional and lose your shit. I think it's awesome that you're gaining the courage needed to go through what you're going through, and it's just going to keep on increasing. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be proud, nobody has that right. GradedOnACurve, maneatingcow, knifeparty and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maneatingcow Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough with us to open up like this. I wish you all the best with everything your going to have to go through. Times like this I wish I had a better grasp on the English language. Or even a better grasp on how to semi get my thoughts out of my head in an understandable fashion. With that said just know that if you ever need any support there are plenty of people on here that you can count on. idreamofpunk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My wife knew about this a month into our relationship, too. She was totally fine with it, which I would never have guessed I would've found someone who would be. But let's face it, we met through one of our mutual gay friends. She's definitely not the type who would be down on this. I knew I'd have to do this one day. I've basically been trying to deal with my brain not being hardwired for all the testosterone in my body, and I think that's why I get monumentally angry about things so much. I just lose it. I don't attack people, but it's more of a self destructive thing because I just can't handle these feels and I just feel useless because of it, you know? I don't do anything that leaves lasting damage or scars, but I'm not good to myself at this time. I stress eat constantly, I have high blood pressure (partly due to the shit I eat, mostly because I've been living my life like it's fucking Halloween every goddamn day), and I had two professors and a counselor all tell me I was showing symptoms of depression back when I was in Grad school for that Semester. I did so horribly 'cause i couldn't fucking focus on anything. Everything was escalating, I was crawling out of my skin, and I couldn't fucking take it. I went back for a few weeks of the second semester, and I completely fucked it up by not signing up for a required class. I didn't pursue it further. Couldn't. Now I've had to move back to Ohio, try to find a job in "boy mode" only to hope it's accepting enough once I come out, and since I dont' have a job, I'm living in my parent's basement with my wife and child 'cause we can't afford to pay rent and our bills with just my wife's income. I just feel so useless, and I've got all these plans, but I just feel like a fucking loser because I can't do any of it. Kriss wasn't far off in those posts in my for sale thread. I kinda suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough with us to open up like this. I wish you all the best with everything your going to have to go through. Times like this I wish I had a better grasp on the English language. Or even a better grasp on how to semi get my thoughts out of my head in an understandable fashion. With that said just know that if you ever need any support there are plenty of people on here that you can count on. Fuck english! Make up your own language! FUck Anglo-Saxon Syntax! But in all seriousness, thank you guys. Sorry for the pity party up there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maneatingcow Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I also just wanted to add that reading your post has actually brought tears to my eyes. I think it takes courage to do what your doing. That kind of strength is admirable. I also find it beautiful that you and your wife are staying together. It's great that you have someone you truly love and they truly love you back. idreamofpunk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satan Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My wife knew about this a month into our relationship, too. She was totally fine with it, which I would never have guessed I would've found someone who would be. But let's face it, we met through one of our mutual gay friends. She's definitely not the type who would be down on this. I knew I'd have to do this one day. I've basically been trying to deal with my brain not being hardwired for all the testosterone in my body, and I think that's why I get monumentally angry about things so much. I just lose it. I don't attack people, but it's more of a self destructive thing because I just can't handle these feels and I just feel useless because of it, you know? I don't do anything that leaves lasting damage or scars, but I'm not good to myself at this time. I stress eat constantly, I have high blood pressure (partly due to the shit I eat, mostly because I've been living my life like it's fucking Halloween every goddamn day), and I had two professors and a counselor all tell me I was showing symptoms of depression back when I was in Grad school for that Semester. I did so horribly 'cause i couldn't fucking focus on anything. Everything was escalating, I was crawling out of my skin, and I couldn't fucking take it. I went back for a few weeks of the second semester, and I completely fucked it up by not signing up for a required class. I didn't pursue it further. Couldn't. Now I've had to move back to Ohio, try to find a job in "boy mode" only to hope it's accepting enough once I come out, and since I dont' have a job, I'm living in my parent's basement with my wife and child 'cause we can't afford to pay rent and our bills with just my wife's income. I just feel so useless, and I've got all these plans, but I just feel like a fucking loser because I can't do any of it. Kriss wasn't far off in those posts in my for sale thread. I kinda suck. I really appreciate that you came to us to talk and open up as a genuine human being. As it its been said, we're fucking here for you and will support you in any way possible. maneatingcow 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
circuit bored records Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 1:36 AM... MO' FUCKIN POTSTICKERS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodfriendbadhabit Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Working in the ER has made me incredibly judgemental and short tempered. I've started taking a lot of my frustrations out on my lady when I get home and I hate that. I'm so close to getting my nursing license and at this point I don't even know if I can do this anymore. People treat medical workers like shit. Both of my parents are in the medical field. They always tell me how proud they are I'm back in college and getting my life back together. (Long story short: I delayed my life to be in a toxic relationship with a girl that cheated on me repeatedly, stole my money, my bike and held my car ransom). I'm afraid to talk to them about it. I just keep hoping it gets better. Also: being at work is the only time I can get away from the lady friend's gluten free hippie food and secretly get my junk food on. I hardly get treats anymore after being put on diabetic meds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Dream - just know you aren't alone in any of this. Keep building a support network for when it is time to fully come out. I don't identify as trans but you're braver than me for sharing something so significant as this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idreamofpunk Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 I build that support by visiting the Malaka-Laka board often. Thank you. (I'm sorry, I had to.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseydave77 Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 All baseketball references are welcomed and encouraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest realtalk Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 My wife knew about this a month into our relationship, too. She was totally fine with it, which I would never have guessed I would've found someone who would be. But let's face it, we met through one of our mutual gay friends. She's definitely not the type who would be down on this. I knew I'd have to do this one day. I've basically been trying to deal with my brain not being hardwired for all the testosterone in my body, and I think that's why I get monumentally angry about things so much. I just lose it. I don't attack people, but it's more of a self destructive thing because I just can't handle these feels and I just feel useless because of it, you know? I don't do anything that leaves lasting damage or scars, but I'm not good to myself at this time. I stress eat constantly, I have high blood pressure (partly due to the shit I eat, mostly because I've been living my life like it's fucking Halloween every goddamn day), and I had two professors and a counselor all tell me I was showing symptoms of depression back when I was in Grad school for that Semester. I did so horribly 'cause i couldn't fucking focus on anything. Everything was escalating, I was crawling out of my skin, and I couldn't fucking take it. I went back for a few weeks of the second semester, and I completely fucked it up by not signing up for a required class. I didn't pursue it further. Couldn't. Now I've had to move back to Ohio, try to find a job in "boy mode" only to hope it's accepting enough once I come out, and since I dont' have a job, I'm living in my parent's basement with my wife and child 'cause we can't afford to pay rent and our bills with just my wife's income. I just feel so useless, and I've got all these plans, but I just feel like a fucking loser because I can't do any of it. Kriss wasn't far off in those posts in my for sale thread. I kinda suck. You don't suck at all. In fact, good for you... I'm sure this takes major balls! It's the year 2013, hopefully people in your life can handle and accept you. If not, fukkem'. MAD RESPECT. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dashhax Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Confession: Every time I watch the season finale of Boy Meets World I cry. alogical and ronniegwilliams 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3arl Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Confession: Every time I watch the season finale of Boy Meets World I cry. If someone doesn't tear up during that finale, then they're not human. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamover Posted March 7, 2013 Share Posted March 7, 2013 Confession: I have so many records but hate that none of my friends can appreciate sitting down and listening to a great record. deletedunknown, thejesseb and nobodybrokeurheart 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emo Revival Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Confession: I have so many records but hate that none of my friends can appreciate sitting down and listening to a great record. Isn't that why we all post here? nobodybrokeurheart and Derek™ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejesseb Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Confession: I have so many records but hate that none of my friends can appreciate sitting down and listening to a great record. Same here. Anytime my friends see my records they are like oh those are awesome, but thats about it. No one ever wants to listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Not people that know me well, but people who see my house for the first time think that I have hundred's of Elvis / Beatles / whatever records. They obviously can tell what they are but assume that they are 30 years old, not printed this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 i almost never wear a condom and i've almost never been tested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Tea Papi Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 i almost never wear a condom and i've almost never been tested. This is not safe, I should know for I have taken high school health. Do not be like Rye, kids. Don't be silly, please wrap your willy. scottheisel, hobohunter48 and cbbrew22 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Just going to leave this here for no particular reason... http://www.greenwichcitizen.com/news/article/AIDS-expert-hopeful-after-report-of-cure-4334038.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 i've also taken high school health. 4 years of it. i just don't get down with grimey bitches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodybrokeurheart Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 i almost never wear a condom and i've almost never been tested. duuuuuuddddee........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 i've also taken high school health. 4 years of it. i just don't get down with grimey bitches. But do you get down with clean bitches who made a mistake with a grimey dude? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebiglebowski Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I'm mostly kidding around. But there's no reason not to get tested once in a while if you play the hook-up game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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